April's CR Diary

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June 24, 2005

For Once, I Zoned My Breakfast

I went in this morning for my blood tests, all the while trying to block out the memory of the last time I had blood drawn. It didn't go well. It was 1998, and I was seriously involved with an ICU nurse. I demanded that he get an AIDS test before we, uh, got to know each other better. I know enough nurses who have had needle sticks that I wanted to be absolutely sure all was well. Child of the eighties... I could win a paranoia contest. Anyway, in the spirit of equality, I said I'd get one myself, even though I knew I had absolutely no risk factors whatsoever. So we went down to Planned Parenthood and his test went just fine, of course. Then they got around to drawing my blood. Couldn't get a vein. Tried four times. Then they got another tech to try... couldn't get a vein. By this time, I am in tears, and feeling like a failure as a patient. One thing about working with nurses is that it makes you want to be the perfect patient, the one who never causes any stress and always has a vein readily available. I was clearly turning out to be way more trouble than I was worth. My then boyfriend, the ICU nurse, was getting so annoyed at their inability to draw my blood that he said, "Just give me a butterfly needle and I'll get it out of this vein here," pointing to a vein on my hand. For liability reasons they wouldn't let him do it. So they had to refer me to the central blood drawing clinic, where it took, again, two different nurses to finally draw my blood. I named the vein that the second nurse successfully tapped after her, so I have a vein named Ellen.

I also have a vein named John, after the anesthesiologist who started an IV on me ages ago, after the nurse couldn't find one.

The fact that I have two veins with proper names tells you that I am not, I repeat, NOT, an easy stick.

So I was quite shocked when my doctor, whom I've now decided I like, got it on the first try. I wonder if it is easier now that I am so thin? I was fairly thin last time too... probably about 115. Anyway, now I have a vein named Marc, out of respect for the doctor who got it in the first try. He was so good. It reminded me of watching the vet tech give fluids to my cat. The cat wiggles and squirms and is impossible when I do it... when the vet tech does it, she turns into docile Angel Kitty. Such that the vet tech can't understand what my problem is and thinks I am an idiot. In my defense, I will point out that my vet tech/kitty sitter used to work at a zoo where she gave subcutaneous fluids to lions and tigers on a regular basis. Makes my seven pound calico seem like, well, a pussycat.

Getting the blood drawn barely hurt at all... in fact, I'd say it hurt a lot less than getting my eyebrows waxed, which I do about every two weeks because I'm not coordinated enough to handle tweezers anywhere near my eyes. The actual taking of the blood went just fine, and I complimented the doctor on his skill. Then I stood up to leave and you know what happened.

I didn't quite faint, but I came very close, and the doctor ordered me to lie down immediately. So I did. Then the nausea hit. I was fairly convinced that I was going to throw up, so I asked if it would be better for me to risk passing out on the way to the bathroom to throw up, or to just throw up right there. The doctor said to stay where I was, as it really threw a wrench in his day every time he had to pick up a passed out patient off the floor. I somehow restrained myself from pointing out that at least I would be a whole lot lighter than the rest of his patients, and therefore very easy to pick up. So I remained on the table and eventually, miraculously, the nausea passed.

He took my blood pressure and it was 90/50. I remained seated for awhile longer. Then he told me that I should immediately pop into the deli next door to the office and buy a beverage with sugar in it to get my blood sugar up.

Aha, thought I! An excuse to drink a sugary soda! Something I never do! Very exciting. Doctor's orders!

So I collected myself, still feeling quite light headed, and purchased a Cherry Coke next door.

Coke has a way of settling my stomach, and the sugar seemed to help a bit. I sat in my car and drank about a fourth of the can of soda before venturing to drive. Next time I have blood taken, I will not be driving myself. Luckily the doctor's office is very near my home, so I didn't have to go far, but it really wasn't a good idea to drive when I was feeling so faint. I just couldn't figure out what else to do... both my mom and my best friend are out of town, and I couldn't think of anyone else who would be around at that hour to call to rescue me.

So I made it home safely, though slowly, and proceeded to make my traditional eggwhite and flax oil breakfast. And then it dawned on me: with that fourth of a can of Cherry Coke, I had added carbs to my breakfast! For once, I Zoned my morning meal.

Something tells me that Cherry Coke was not what Mary had in mind when she suggested that I add carbs to my breakfast. But in this one case, I think it was okay. I poured out the rest of the soda, figuring that I didn't need extra calories and sugar once the initial freak out was passed, and enjoyed my delicous breakfast.

I thought I felt better, but I realized that I was still a bit out of it. For instance, I opened a brand new bottle of Peak K2, an AOR supplement designed by my very own forumlation wizard, to pack my little pill box for the day. I dropped the pill in its lunchtime slot, then I put the bottle away. About three minutes later I realized I was still holding the cap to the bottle, and had put the bottle away without its top! CR girls in space!!! Mental note: do not schedule anything important on the morning of getting blood taken. Next time I do this, I might just get crstudy@calorierestriction.org to carry me. If I have to get all these tests done frequently so as to provide scientific evidence of what CR is doing to us, it seems like the least I can expect for my trouble is to be carried home. And the fact that crstudy can very easily carry me about should put to rest any silliness about hardcore CR turning men into fragile, frail, freaks. He can open jars really well too, which is good because as we all know, I was brainwashed early in life into believing that I need a man to open jars.

So I survived my blood tests, and I should get the results in 7 - 10 days. I hope it won't be a hassle to actually get all the print outs... you know how doctors like to just say, "Everything is fine," or "It's all normal," without telling you what's up. Of course everything is fine... that's not the point!!!

I really, really wish I had done this earlier. But at least we'll have a baseline of what I was like at what I supsect for me is "moderate" CR, and when I go more hardcore (which yes, I am still planning to do... I have a master plan you see that will make this all much easier, and it does not involve sacrificing small children to the hunger gods, nor does it involve making tarantulas my main protein source, though I appreciate all your recipe suggestions.)

Meanwhile, my mom is at a meeting in Chicago, where they are having their hottest day in recorded history or something like that. She writes to update us on her progress:

April and Bloggie Fans,
Just a quick note from Chicago where I'm attending the annual conference of the American Library Association
Imagine the opportunities for CR here with 25,000-30,000 librarians. Librarians work hard, don't make a lot of money, and spend more time helping others. Not much time to focus on healthy eating. Much like nurses.
Well, now the good news. I'm at a Marriott Courtyard and walked down the block yesterday and found the most wonderful Armenian Restaurant. While I'm not strict like MR and April, I do like to eat healthy and have been to the Armenian Restaurant for both of my meals so far--lunch and dinner. I've had two bowls of red lentil soup, red cabbage salad in a very light dressing, tabouli, and shrimp kababs (didn't eat much of the rice). Pardon the expression....the icing on the cake was a lovely glass of Riesling.
Plan to go back today and get take-out to put in the fridge in my
room.
I also found a street fruit market with fresh cherries.
Yum.......Well, safe again on the road.
Your friend,
Mother of the Blog

I haven't been writing much about my food lately cause it's been pretty darned boring since I got back from Calgary. Very quotidian, which I found out I spelled in French last time I used the term... must be all those Canadian food labels going straight to my head. Eggwhites, yogurt, kale, red peppers, brewers yeast soup with cruciferous veggies, a night out at the Ruby Tuesday's salad bar. That's about it. The newest innovation in my food life is that I've been mixing my plain nonfat yogurt with this amazing salsa that's cheap at my grocery store. It's called Dessert Pepper, (not to be confused with Diet Dr. Pepper) and my favorite flavor is called "Twelve Olive" and is inexplicably fat free. Actually, MR offered an explanation for the miracle of fat free olive tasting salsa: they take the olives, press all the oil out of them, and then throw in the corpse. Delicous! I love olive corpses! I also like the salsa to be fat free, so that I can use my own organic olive oil on my salad instead of consuming heaven knows what kind of oxidized stuff they put into non-fat free salsas. Robert K really freaked me out about oils oxidizing when we ate lunch in Charleston. Makes me want to run home and make sure that my flax oil hasn't sprouted legs, jumped out of the freezer, wandered onto the balcony and decided to sit in the sun and oxidize.

Tonight I have a mini-girls' night out planned. It is a mini-girls' night out, as opposed to a Girls' Night Out, both because it will be a short night and because both the girls are mini. VLC and I haven't popped into town for a drink in quite awhile, and so we decided to go out straight after work and head to a great restaurant/bar called 20 Manning, which is interestingly enough located at 20th and Manning. They have outside seating, so we can enjoy our heat tolerence in the beautiful sunshine. I will be covered with sunscreen, worry not, as always... I won't let anything happen to my redheaded Scottish fair skin. We're going to have a glass of wine, then she is heading off to her exciting evening events and I will either pop to the art museum (which is free because I have a membership) or just go home. As we all know, I do not like to stay up late, so a girls' night out that ends before 8 pm is just right for me.

Posted by april at June 24, 2005 10:14 AM

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Posted by: Matt at June 24, 2005 2:30 PM

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