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June 26, 2005
Trust Is More Than A Chemical Reaction
I heard this line on "Fresh Air" with Terri Gross a few weeks ago and saved it as a possible title for a blog entry. I'm always saving possible blog titles for later... you never know when they will come in handy. She was interviewing an author of a book whose name escapes me, talking about how some people are biochemically wired to be more trusting than others. It may come as a big surprise to you, but I seriously doubt that I am one of those people. I question everyone and everything, even the people I love the most. Especially the people I love the most. If you need proof, I can provide you with a list of phone numbers and email addresses of the people closest to me who have had to argue me through this or that transition (flash back: arguing with Francis for hours after every Student Labor Action Coalition meeting. Turns out, he was right. But that didn't stop me from heeping curses upon his long-haired head at the time!)
The recent comment war had led me to reflect on why we trust the people we trust for nutritional advice. There's so much disagreement among various sources, from the USDA food pyramid (or is it now a rhombus?) to the Atkins people to the Ornishites (I was one for years) to the Zonies to the people who have given up entirely. How is a non-expert supposed to figure out what to eat for breakfast? Or whether to eat breakfast at all?
I've been through a lot of phases with food... from my lowfat vegetarian years to my hardcore vegan years to CR babysteps to my current vaguely Zonish eggwhite worshiping high-ish protein diet. I've spent a ton of time refining my dietary practices, and a lot of mental energy reading and researching to figure out what I believe is the healthiest way to eat.
When I first started out on the journey, I had no idea how to evaluate any sort of evidence. Reading the CR Society list in its entirity every day (it took awhile for me to figure out that most people delete most everything) really gave me a crash course in understanding medical studies. Watching people argue taught me that a) there's a lot of disagreement among well-intentioned, well-read, smart people out there b) there's a lot of bad reasoning out there too.
When I first started reading MR's posts to the list, I was impressed with his ability to make sense out of a mountain of scientific evidence and explain in such a way that non-specialists could understand exactly why he made the suggestions he made. His ideas about nutrition ran completely opposite of what I had believed up to that point: I used to be a fat-phobic vegan who threatened to slap the next person who asked, "Are you getting enough protein?" I used to rant at length about how there was no osterperosis in China, how you couldn't suffer from protein deficiency unless you ate a diet consisting of only Snackwells. etc. etc. etc. There are a lot of witnesses to this phase of my life... they can tell you about the whitering looks I used to give people who asked if I was concerned about calcium.
So I was by no means pre-disposed to go joining MR's cult of CR'd Zonishness. I have written extensively about my transition from Priestess of the High Carb Darkness to where I am now... I won't rehash. But the end product is this: through my own research and an extensive series of experiments on myself, I came to a diet that makes me feel much better than my previous nutritional creeds ever did.
That's not to say that I've stopped tweaking. I love to play with my DWIDP, come up with new and exciting ways to get optimal nutrition in fewer and fewer calories, manage hunger, and throw dinner parties for seven. I'm always struggling with social issues, and trying to find that calorie level where I'm not wiggy with hunger but consistently pushing myself just a bit harder, etc.
Mary once said, "Maybe if MR had a cult I would join it." We got a huge laugh out of that. She went on to say that CR folk tend to be a very free-thinking bunch, always challenging each other and pushing each other to get better. I find it to be so.
I didn't blindly follow the orders of a charismatic cult leader who cast a spell on all of us to make us think we need calcium when we don't (though one of my CR brothers once accused me of falling under MR's spell... I asked later and MR has no memory of casting such a spell, but if he could in fact magically cause people to clean up their diets and improve their health, don't you think people would be lining up around the block to sign up?) I read and researched, then I tried different things until I figured out what works for me. I had concerns that differ from MR's: for instance, I have to do a certain amount of social eating for my job, and I also genuinely enjoy going out to eat from time to time with my friends. It's worth a compromise here and there for me, and I'm usually pretty happy with my choices. I do worry that it won't be enough... that while I'm getting the benefits of obesity avoidance and don't have to fear an early heart attack, I may not get the full benefits of CR's effects on slowing the entire aging process until I go deeper. And as we all know, the clock is ticking. So I view my CR as constantly in motion as I adapt and change and make decisions about what's important and what's not.
When it comes down to it, it's my choice. I'm not doing CR to pick up guys (y'all knew I was joking about that, right?) or to look like a supermodel (I am way too short and will never look that skinny even if I am that skinny!) I want the most I can get out of life, and getting the most out of live means being young and healthy to me, not eating a dessert.
To paraphrase Walford, why focus on gluttony when there are so many other wonderful sins?
We all have to make our own choices about what is most important to us... things that matter to me may not matter to you. Willie and Wanderingfeet have been talking about the challenges of CR when you have kids and unsupportive spouses. That's a good example of the tough choices we face. I am lucky that the Fancy Feast and Science Diet Light that I feed my cats doesn't tempt me at all. Salmon breath -- yuck!
Before CR, I felt like I was seeing my youth slip away. Doing CR has given me a very deep sense of empowerment. I had lots of professional, personal and creative success in my life pre-CR, but I was becoming aware that none of it would be any good to me if I lost my health and vitality. The crisis finally came at the party I told you about in yesterday's entry, I looked around and saw everyone around me eating tons of high saturated fat, high calorie food, and looking older and sicker than I wanted to look.
Then I looked in the mirror and saw that I was starting to look the same way.
I was desperate enough to put aside some of my long standing nutritional beliefs (hello, John McDougall! Hello, Dean Ornish!) and try something new. I took advice from others... thanks to Little MR for opening the door to the world of the true protein and Zoned happiness. I made some hard choices. I made some stupid mistakes. I made a really disgusting cream of broccoli soup with vanilla whey powder. Ick!
But I changed my life. I had a great time at the party yesterday... it was a lot like last year's, only this time I'm thirty-three pounds lighter, a foot taller, and healthier than I've ever been. It was a little creepy to return to the scene of one of the most rock-bottom moments of my pre-CR health crash, but it gave me a great opportunity to reflect on how far I've come.
I am happier than I ever imagined I would be.
And no, I am not really a foot taller. I was kidding about that part.
Posted by april at June 26, 2005 5:38 AM
Comments
Thanks for the motivational blog!
Posted by: Danielle at June 26, 2005 6:13 AM
i like this i can used this for my science fair title
Posted by: clayneshia west at November 6, 2008 12:49 PM