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June 10, 2005
Whose Fantasies Are We Fulfilling?
The other day I was reading Wanderingfeet's new blog, CRON 101, and came across some of her thoughts on CR and weight loss:
"I have a lot of issues with diets and dieting, starting with resentment at being expected towhat society thinks is the right way for me to look as a woman, which seems anyway to be based on male fantasies which women have apparently internalized. I'm not saying it's wrong to want to look good in a bathing suit, but I personally don't want to be judged by how my body stacks up against the 'breed standard.'"
It made me think about the role of weight loss in CR, and my own personal feelings about weight loss as a side effect of the only known method for retarding biological aging.
I'm beginning to suspect that you're onto me, and I want you to hear it from me first.
CR is not, for me, about living longer. It's not about health or even looking good well into old age. This whole thing about wanting to help you do CR so that we can welcome the dawn of radical anti-aging biomedicine together is just a front. For me, CR is about conforming to an ideal of beauty that some people think is impossible.
You see, bloggiefriends, I really like skinny guys.
And I don't mean just sorta skinny, like on the lighter side of normal, or "healthy" or "slim." I mean *skinny*.
I've always liked skinny guys, as long as I can remember. When I was in school I noticed that the skinny guys were usually the nerdy guys... I guess the non-skinny guys were too busy getting their heads bashed in on the football field or in the hockey rink to learn much. Those fit, athletic, weight lifting types just never did anything for me at all. While I've dated some guys who were on the slightly heavy side, I don't think I've ever dated a muscle-man underwear model type. All that traditional male beauty just leaves me cold.
But give me a skinny nerdy geek boy any day.
You know the quote from Revenge of the Nerds, don't you?
Same for glasses: I just assume that men wearing glasses are smarter. I can't help it, I feel that way. People assume that blondes are dumb and that pretty women are flaky -- well, I assume that skinny glasses-wearing boys are smart.
I also really like men who can type. I can never develop even the slightest bit of interest in a man who can not type. But when a guy can type really well... I could watch that for hours. I could fall asleep listening to the "click click click" of long skinny fingers against the keyboard.
I have given up computer geeks for Lent. Several years in a row.
But enough about me. Let's talk about CR, and why by now you've started to figure out that doing CR, for me, has nothing whatsoever to do with life-extension. I am doing CR cause it's a great way to meet skinny guys!!! And it worked! I met the skinniest, smartest, most perfect guy on earth!
But that's not enough. I must spread CR throughout the world, not because I want people to be healthier and happier, but because I want all men to be skinny! It's not enough for me to impose my personal idea of male beauty on just one guy, no, I will not stop until every man in this country is chopping vegetables in a desperate attempt to get a BMI of 15.5!
Hey, if the fashion industry can convince us girls that we want to look like Kate Moss, why can't I convince men that they want to look like MR?
Abandon your weight training programs, all you men out there! Abandon those protein shakes that are supposed to make you "bulk up." Put down the cheesesteak, take up the mustard green! You too can become nothing but bone, muscle and brain. Men may make fun of you and try to beat you up, but women will swoon and think you own a software company.
Be proud, all you skinny geek boys, of your gorgeous bodies. Throw out those baggy clothes and get a decent suit tailored to fit you! Skinny guys are beautiful!
Men have been slow to internalize my fantasy of male beauty, but that doesn't discourage me in the slightest. Though Hollywood now glorifies bodies like that of the Governor of California, it won't be long until men look at him and say, "Oh my God, his butt is so big!"
And then I will know I have won.
Start chopping vegetables, boys. We girls have internalized your fantasies long enough. It's about time you fulfilled mine.
Posted by april at June 10, 2005 9:42 AM
Comments
Skinny men are hot! Flabby men are not! Vegetable chopping men are the very hottest by far. Nothing less attactive than a beer-guzzling, football-watching slob who makes his wife do all the cooking. I wouldn't trade my skinny, cooking husband in for anyone - except Thomas Jefferson or Leonardo Da Vinci (yes, I admit my fantasies are a little unusual).
Posted by: Mary at June 10, 2005 6:05 PM
my thoughts exactly. who wants to be a widow?
or kiss a barrel of jello?
Posted by: fruitgirl at June 11, 2005 11:07 AM
WanderingFeet here, wondering if her feet haven't wandered into her mouth, somehow...
Posted by: Suzanne at June 11, 2005 11:11 AM
My husband is in heaven ! He has just read your blog, realised he is on CR, tall, skinny, wears glasses AND owns a software company ! His comment - "I can't wait to meet April when she comes over for the SENS conference in September :-)
Posted by: Lindsay at June 11, 2005 11:11 AM
oh yeah. im going to a wedding today.
very sweet couple. unfortunately, i'd say they
have at the most 50 or 60 years. sad.
so young.
see their pic on my blog.
Posted by: fruitgirl at June 11, 2005 11:13 AM
oh the irony.
Posted by: christina at June 12, 2005 3:43 AM
i love skinny men as well! esp the ones who don those thick blk glasses. im a sucker for those.
you know i never thought of CR in such a light...hmm...more the reason to cont! oh joy
Posted by: edaz19 at June 12, 2005 10:07 PM
Hmm, and I was just thinking about getting contacts... Of course, I'm not skinny, unless you're comparing me to people with BMIs of 50. I'm not tall either, unless you're comparing me to racehorse joeckeys. And I don't own a software company.
BUT! I am a computer programmer...
While I'd like to keep the "look" that glasses give me, I find that they are most annoying when it comes to looking at things above or below the rims (such as when I tilt my head down even a little bit, and then try to look at something level with my head, e.g. when trying to comb my hair).
Posted by: Jay Fox at June 13, 2005 12:43 PM
Thank god I'm off the hook! I can keep eating like crap as long as I stay this skinny, and I'll continue to have your blessing, April?
-Your twin.
Posted by: Josh H. Pille at June 14, 2005 11:42 AM