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September 30, 2005
You Might Think I'm Crazy
One of my favorite songs by the Cars is the one that goes:
You might think I'm crazy
To hang around with you
Or maybe you think I'm lucky
To have something to do
...
You might think I'm crazy
But all I want is you.
And so on.
I heard it yesterday when I was on my way to the bank, and paused to reflect for a moment on how almost everyone I know thinks I'm crazy for one thing or another.
A large portion of people I know think that CR is just nuts. I mean sure, I look great, feel great, hardly ever get sick, and don't have to worry much about heart disease, strokes or diabetes. Or how I look in a bikini. But reduce your calories??? Count them??? Make your meals on computer software? Crazy!
And I'm a union organizer. That's kinda weird. When I tell people that I am a union organizer, I frequently get the same response I get when I tell them I occasionally drink TAB. "They still have that?"
In case that wasn't enough, also really enjoy listening to WJJZ, the Philly smooth jazz station, which almost everyone I know thinks is too un-cool for words. Why can't I listen to hip-hop or classic rock or the alternative college station? What is it about Earth, Wind and Fire that I find so compelling?
There's something for everyone to find odd about me. It's equal opportunity that way. Even MR, with whom I have so much in common that we often stare at each other in amazement, sometimes thinks I'm just plain nuts. To which I respond that if *anyone* were asked which one of us is weirder, they'd pick him. Of course, they don't know me like he does.
As Billy Joel so famously said:
If I'm crazy than it's true
That it's all because of you
And you wouldn't want me any other way.
Posted by april at 11:41 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 29, 2005
I Bit That Bullet. I Took That Vow.
I really owe Don Henley royalties for all the times I quote "Everything Is Different Now."
Remember last time I blogged about the power of deciding and saying out loud, "I will not do ___." You have to be specific, and you have to be realistic, but that being said, it really seems to work?
Well, I've been experimenting with the concept. Yesterday I picked some things I would decide on for the day. For instance: not one bite of anything before my Ruby Tuesday's salad at lunch. Normally, I would eat breakfast, but I had gone out the night before and eaten way too much, so I was feeling stuffed and a little anxious... I always feel anxious the day after I have an overeating carb fest. MR hates it when I skip breakfast, but just a few hours fast makes me feel so much better both physically and mentally that he can handle it about once every two months.
My decision not to eat a bite before the RT salad made it easy for me to avoid the carb-y delights at the Carb Castle, aka my mom's house, where I went on my way down to my meeting to feed her cat. Rice cakes, hotdog relish, jujubees... all were like cardboard to me. Not one bite!
Second vow du jour: not one bite of the formerly canned fruit, dried cranberries, or gaky crouton-like objects on the RT's salad bar. Vegetables, chick peas, olives, cottage cheese only. Had two heaping plates of same. Wonderful! Heinz salad vinegar on top (olives for fat.) Took my supplements. Felt powerful. Felt happy. Felt enlightened... in body and mind.
Third vow du jour: no glass of wine. I drank more than I really should have when I went out with friends on Tuesday night, so I wanted to make up for the calories, and the easiest way to do that is to skip my cabernet. Not to mention that I've gotten in the habit of drinking a glass of wine while I cook and then drinking another glass with dinner, which is fine to do once a week when cooking for a fancy weekend dinner, but sure adds up when you do it most days! So: none. Not one drop. Not a three ounce MR pour. None.
Done! All vows kept. I felt like the universe rewarded me by leading me to a sale on shower gels at Bath and Body Works, where I stocked up on creamy body wash. I am now the proud owner of: Warm Vanilla Sugar, Moonlight Path, Black Raspberry Vanilla, and Brown Sugar and Fig. Themes: Vanilla and Sugar. Sounds like a Red Hot Chili Peppers album title in the making. Vanilla Sugar Sex Magick? No, MR wouldn't approve of the sugar. Vanilla Sucralose Sex Magick? Doesn't have quite the same ring to it, I'm afraid. I'll have to work on this particular spell.
Love angel curry baby...
MR made an amazing rendition on his mom's green curried Quorn last night for dinner. Asparagi, bamboo shoots, fresh basil, light coconut milk, Quorn, and this unbelievably low cal green curry paste that he had to do tons of research to find. He found the dish a bit too spicy... I thought it was curried perfection.
Tonight I'm cooking and I think I'll make a soup-like variation on the creamy mushroom gravy that I put over our Quorn roast on Sunday. I'm thinking: mushroom broth, Trader Joe's harvest hodgepodge frozen veggie bag (mushrooms, carrots, red pepper, water chestnuts, broccoli, snap peas, baby corn -- your basic Asian veggie mix), nonfat plain yogurt for creaminess, eggwhites for protein. Some fruit on the side for MR and three oz of pinot, no fruit for me and a real glass of cabernet.
Today's vows:
1) Eat breakfast, in spite of temptation to skip due to early am meeting. When I got to the office after my 7:30 am meeting (for which I had to leave the house at 6:45) I ate a Stoneyfield Farms yogurt with a few hazelnuts that I had kicking around the work fridge. Look at me: Zoning!
2) Not one bite at the Carb Castle. I'm taking my lunch (lovingly packed for me by Mr. Orange) over to my mom's (three mins from my office) to eat lunch with her cat, and I will not touch even the smallest jujubee. Get behind me, rice cakes! Be gone, hotdog relish! You have no power over me!
3) No wine while cooking dinner. Must save that first delicious drop of cabernet for the moment that MR and I fall to our delicious feast. He is making me green tea to enjoy whilst I cook. I really don't need the extra calories in an extra glass of wine on the weekdays.
That's 3. That's good for today. I wonder how the universe will conspire to reward me...
Posted by april at 9:13 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
September 27, 2005
Everything I Wish I Didn't Know
All weekend I have had U2's song "Vertigo" in my head. Someone was playing it loudly outside while I cleaned house yesterday morning, and I heard it blasted out a car window yesterday afternoon as I walked around Center City looking for self-igniting charcoal. "It's everything I wish I didn't know" is a line from the song.
On Saturday morning over breakfast MR and I had a conversation about the dawn of radical anti-aging biomedicine, and when it will be. We have a good friend who is about 55 and who does CR, who says that he probably won't make it. He's probably right. Makes us sad... he's a fun guy. MR worries that if I don't get more serious about my CR, I won't be in the kind of health at 80 that will make me eligible to take the rigors of anti-aging therapies. I worry about it too. I love to look good in a sundress and create amazing vegetable dishes, but I'm in this to live longer, healthier. It's so darned hard.
For instance: yesterday was a pretty perfect CR day. Then we went out with our friends, and I ate my delicious megamuffin (275 cals) for dinner. And ate quite a few of my friend's french fries, in spite of my attempts to banish the fries with various magickal techniques. It's so hard to avoid those delicious little critters, and if I weren't going for hardcore CR, I wouldn't have to worry about it. A few french fries here and there are not a disaster, for your obesity avoidance/no early heart attack moderate CR plan. However, for serious, long term, running to catch that radical life-extension bus, it's not going to work out.
Not to mention the empty calories in the wine I drank... ah, those quality of life issues. At least I was never much for desserts!
I recently read the fantastic book by Helen Fielding, Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination. In it, she has a piece of dialogue in which Olivia says to her would-be suitor, "You don't have to scare me to death to make me happy!" This was particularly funny a few weeks ago (you had to be there... some of you were!) It's true that I don't require a weekly terror fest... or at least I don't think I do. But the idea of aging faster than my Orange One, and condemning him to an extended life of missing me, is rather horrifying. Makes you think.
I have everything these days... perfect man of my dreams, wonderful family, job that inspires me (and makes me crazy), amazingly freaky friends (you know who you are -- at least you're supposed to!). Okay, so my cat has as of late had some trouble with using inappropriate restroom facilities, and the electric company is convinced that I owe them $0.48. But with all the suffering in the world, I have to count myself as extraordinarily fortunate. I can't be giving one instant of this beautiful life over to disease and death. That would be silly at best, ungrateful at worst.
It's so hard though... I'm looking at my week: two nights of going out. Maybe three. What will I eat? Part of going low on my calories in my quotidian diet is that I get pretty darned hungry... so when I go out, especially if MR's gorgeous blue eyes aren't watching me, it's tempting to overeat. It seems like I can't gain weight, no matter what crazy things I do, so I no longer have that terrible fear of getting fat. [Side note: people keep asking me if it's difficult to maintain my weight loss. Uh, no. It's freakishly easy. Makes me wonder how I managed to weigh between twenty and thirty pounds more for my entire adult life!]
Deciding in advance what I am going to do seems to be very powerful. When I vowed not to eat that pizza, I didn't. I saw it, I smelled it, I saw other people eat it: I abstained. It's so easy when it's so clear cut. I will not ___.
Tougher when it's less clear cut. I will eat something. I will not go too crazy? What's *too* crazy? It helps to have MR there for moral support, but I go out with our other friends without him a lot, and that works really well for our relationship. He can spend the evening with scientific articles, I can spend the evening in Irish bars with the non-CR'd among us, and everyone is happy. But what do I eat???
Back in the day, it was easy: that would be my "going out" night. I'd eat whatever I felt like, usually higher protein, lower carb, no dessert, no pasta, but not a CR poster girl meal. These days, I want to cut calories. Those meals add up quick.
Angst angst angst. "Just do it," says the Nike ad and the voice in my head. I know how to drop my calories. So I get hungry: so what? I've been hungry before and the world didn't end. There is greater satisfaction waiting for me at home, in the form of a strange man in my house. In the form of looking hot when all my contemporaries are fat and wrinkly. In the form of seeing the dream of the Mprize come true. First mice: they're cute and furry. Then people.
I've taken quite a few vows as of late (none of them wedding vows... MR is opposed to marriage, and I am not in need of it) and I have no trouble keeping them. Something about saying, out loud, that you will or will not do something makes it much easier to do or not do it.
But when I make my list of things that would have to change, I get kinda scared.
Things that would have to change:
1) No more eating french fries off other people's plates.
2) No more snacking while preparing dinner.
3) No more drinking wine like it's a weekend dinner party just because I'm cooking dinner. Every day can't be a dinner party!
4) No more truly crazy nights out of stuff-ation. Only moderately crazy allowed. Moderately crazy? What's that?
5) No more carbing out at the Carb Castle, aka my mom's house, where yesterday I ate rice cakes with hotdog relish.
6) No more going crazy on the fruit salad at the RT's.
7) No more angsting and then changing nothing!
Grrrr. I've made so many dramatic, drastic, positive changes in my life in the last year, I almost feel like I'm suffering from some personal transformation fatigue. But I don't really wish that I didn't know how important it is to get my calories down.
At least my red wine scallops dish was amazing. Cook the scallops in 3 oz red wine for at least half an hour with one clove of garlic, minced. Add 5 g fresh basil (that's a lot). This time I did it with grape tomatoes that I put in whole and cooked for the entire time, allowing to melt and pop. Yum! Add 1 teaspoon olive oil after removing from heat, just before serving. I served brussels sprouts on the side, lightly steamed, with flax oil and MR put on some lemon juice (on the brussels sprouts, that is.) I also did another rendition of the apples and hazelnuts/hazelnut oil dish. Very yummy!
I'm having trouble coming up with a catchy last line. I always worry that I'll run out. I think that U2 will get the last line, from "Vertigo."
Hello hello
We're at a place called vertigo
It's everything I wish I didn't know
But that you give me something
I can feel
Your love is teaching me how
All of this, all of this can be yours
All of this, all of this can be yours
All of this, all of this can be yours
Just give me what I want and no-one gets hurt
Posted by april at 2:48 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
September 26, 2005
Twice In One Day
Well, I've done it again. Created two mind-blowingly delicious culinary masterpieces in the same day.
Lunch yesterday: sounds odd but is quite delicious. For MR: 50 cals eggwhites marinated in 3 tablespoons Trader Joe's salsa verde along with some amount I can't now remember but have saved in DWIDP of avocado topped with 50 g green pepper, diced. That's the bottom layer. Middle layer: 1 cup cottage cheese. Top layer: 3 more tablespoons salsa verde along with 50 more g green pepper diced plus more avocado. Serve cold, raspberries on the side.
Dinner: Quorn Roast with mushroom "gravy." I mixed up a half cup of this organic mushroom broth that I have (any mushroom broth would do, Lipton even makes it) along with 23 calories of Trader Joe's frozen Asian mushroom blend, simmered over the heat, and then at the last minute added in one half cup fat free plain organic yogurt. I actually put our Quorn roast chopped up into the gravy, but you could pour the gravy on more like a traditional meat dish if you wanted. Served with veggies on the side, along with a delicious dish of red apples chopped and microwaved for five minutes with cinnamon and this strange spice grinder I have that has cinnamon, lime zest, stuff like that. It's called "Grains of Desire"... I have no idea why. Hazelnut oil on top and a few hazelnuts mixed in. MR loved it. It is quite satisfying to see the look of ecstacy on the Orange One's face that comes when he bites into something that's really, really tasty. It's so nice to have a perpetual willing victim for my cooking experiments.
Back to work today... well, I actually did quite a bit of work over the weekend, but I'm back at the office today, armed with breakfast salad for lunch (ingredients: mustard greens, kale, romaine, arugula, tomatoes, green pepper, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, salsa) cottage cheese, and an emergency yogurt.
Tonight: scallops in red wine. Stay tuned.
Posted by april at 8:09 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 25, 2005
Name That Disorder!
I do not have an eating disorder, but I seem to have developped something much odder.
I am frequently convinced that there is cottage cheese in my hair.
It doesn't help that there is, from time to time, cottage cheese in my hair. It happens when you measure and eat a cup a day.
But still, it's not ALWAYS in my hair. Yet I'm constantly checking. I ask MR if there is cottage cheese in my hair. I wonder if I should put cottage cheese in my shampoo. Or conditioner. And if I put it in conditioner, should I use the full fat kind? With flax oil?
Anybody want to take a shot at naming this disorder?
BTW: Brewers yeast, Lewis Labs brand, is 56 calories per tablespoon. I tend to eat two tablespoons in my soup.
Posted by april at 7:04 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
September 23, 2005
The Things We Do For Love
"I'm not sure this relationship would be possible without DWIDP," I said to MR as I tried to figure out how to use 262 grams of kale stems in our dinner tonight. He said he was very happy that DWIDP exists.
MR creates stems, lots of stems, that he used to use in his various recipes. But now that I cook most of our dinners, a function of the fact that I love to cook and he loves to eat my food, he doesn't make his stem-containing dinners as often. Tonight I had planned to be out, but my friend with whom I was going to have dinner got called into work, so MR benefitted from the pleasure of my cooking and my ingenious usage of stems.
I boiled the stems in low sodium organic veggie broth for about half an hour, and then added a half a can of Muir Glenn Organic fire roasted diced tomatoes. Added 250 g eggwhites for protein. At the very end, after removing from heat, I added a half cup of fat free plain organic yogurt and a teaspoon of flax oil. Served with hazelnuts, raspberries and hazelnut oil on the side. I ate mine with two tablespoons Lewis Labs brewers yeast, minus the eggwhites and yogurt. That amount of brewers yeast has 16 g protein, and I had already had my calcium in the form of lunch time cottage cheese.
262 grams of kale stems is a lot. You try it.
Posted by april at 6:39 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Not One Bite
No time to write... just wanted to let you know that I survived the three meeting long pizza event without taking one bite!!!
Mission accomplished! And this time it really was...
More soon.
Posted by april at 9:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 21, 2005
The Pizza Dilemma
You know that old saying, "I can resist everything except temptation?" Well, I've always thought of it in the context of how hard it is to avoid eating foods that are sub-optimal for my CR plan if they're just lying around. Especially if they're really yummy and they smell good. Pizza from Pinocchio's is a prime example. It is so hard for me to avoid eating it if nurses are eating it at a meeting! And once I've had one slice, it's hard not to have another.
Today I have another pizza type of meeting, and I've been debating whether or not to serve pizza. I'd definitely prefer to avoid temptation all together by staying as far away from pizza as possible. I also feel a touch of guilt in serving food that is high-calorie, nutrient poor, and covered in saturated fat to others who are likely to eat it. So there's an argument for skipping the pizza all together.
However, it is kinda expected that food will be provided at these meetings, and that the food provided will be pizza. Showing up with a large garden salad would just look weird. Several of the nurses have mentioned that the pizza was a nice touch at the last meeting, and that they're looking forward to pizza again at this meeting.
So I'm torn between doing what I feel like I should for my job, and leading myself, not to mention others, into temptation.
I am wondering if it might be character building on some level to spend three meetings in the presence of The Pizza, having decided beforehand not to partake of it. If I could survive this ordeal, what other feats of self-discipline might I be capable of? Maybe I'll take my calories lower. Maybe I'll take up running. Maybe I'll start taking the labels off the cat food cans *before I open them.*
In general, I think it's best to stay out of the way of temptation, especially early in one's CR program when you're just getting into the groove of what works for you. This is not to imply that eating not particularly CR-friendly food is a moral evil. On the contrary, part of my CR practice that I feel helps me succeed is going out about once a week with friends and eating more calories and different foods than usual. It keeps me from feeling deprived, cuts back on the social awkardness factor, and adds some nutrients that might not appear in my quotidian diet.
That being said, I want to be the master of my circumstances, rather than having my circumstances dictate to me what I will eat, how I will feel, and how long I will live. I already have on my calendar a going out for dinner event with a non-CR brother on Friday night, and I am working hard at keeping my calories low so I definitely can not afford two over-calorie days in one week. I no longer find it appealing to fast for a day to get over an over-calorie spell now that I've lost so much weight that I don't get much of a high off of fasting. So I have to choose carefully.
Here's one thing that the people who say that CR is all about self-denial don't understand: it's not about denying yourself pleasure at all. It's about consciously choosing your pleasures so that you achieve the health and longevity goals you want to achieve, while preserving and even increasing the amount of pleasure you get through the act of eating. We enjoy our food so much more than normal people... anyone who has any doubt of this should watch MR bite into my scallops cooked in red wine dish and witness the look of pure ecstacy.
We don't eat foods just because they're put in front of us and they look or smell good. We make conscious choices. It may be more difficult when the food is there and looks and smells really good, and other people are eating large quantities of it and covering themselves in melted mozzarella and tomato sauce. If it fits into the plan to eat the pizza, then it is not a non-CR'd act: it must merely be balanced out by earlier or later meals, and special attention must be paid to get the nutrients that were missing in the pizza meal. But if the slots in the week for over-calorie meals are already taken, it just doesn't make sense to eat the pizza.
The pizza isn't bad, and people who eat pizza aren't moral degenerates. Well, no doubt quite a few moral degenerates eat pizza. But they're not moral degenerates *because* they eat pizza. You get the idea.
It's not always easy to make conscious choices about food instead of eating whatever is put in front of us. It means accepting a certain amount of responsibility for the consequences of one's actions. At an earlier point in my life I would have felt compelled by the very fact that the pizza was there to eat it. Now, I can look at the pizza, know that it's there, understand that it would probably taste really good, but still decide not to eat it. Greater pleasures, such as enjoying years and years of health and youthful beauty and sitting on my Orange Angel's lap await me. It is a well known fact that one frequently has to renounce short term pleasures in order to achieve greater pleasure in the long run. This is just another example.
I can resist the pizza. I am an adult woman, conscious of my choices, empowered by my knowldege, awaiting the dawn of radical anti-aging bio-medicine. I can say, "No, thank you."
At least, I think I can. We'll see. I'll let you know.
Hey, it builds character.
Meanwhile, I met a blog reader! One of my readers just moved to town and lives about five minutes from, so we met for a glass of pinot noir at a bar nearby. He's so cool! It's tons of fun to talk with someone else about CR, life extension, Aubrey de Grey, and related topics. MR and I are hoping to have him over for dinner next week.
In other news, MR cooked an excellent dinner for me last night. He made one of his mother's recipes that included Quorn tenders, light coconut milk, asparagus, yu choi stems (though the original called for peas) basil, Thai fish sauce, and all sorts of other yummy things. It was a high volume, low calorie treat. I really enjoyed it, and of course there's something wonderful about eating food that is lovingly prepared by someone orange. Even as I write this, I am eating my breakfast-salad-for-lunch, which is to MR's breakfast salad as Eve is to Adam.
Okay, lunch break is over. I have been fortified in body and mind by breakfast salad, cottage cheese, the promise of extended life and the love of my Orange One. I am ready to face the pizza.
Posted by april at 12:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 20, 2005
The Whole Stupid Anorexia Thing
As if CR isn't hard enough, our CR and Three Hundred brother Matt has to deal with family members accusing him of anorexia! I hope that MR's mom's comments help him... perhaps he can print them out and distribute to his family. It's quite understandable for family and friends to be concerned when someone loses a whole lot of weight, and for those of you who started out thin, you can become very skinny indeed. (Yea! More skinny guys in the world!) But it's frustrating when instead of learning about the issue and recognizing the signs of health and happiness in their loved ones, like MR's Mom has, family and friends become adamant that CR is an eating disorder.
That stuff just drives me nuts.
For instance, I recently found out that a friend of mine told a few other folks that I'm anorexic. Like, hello! I haven't lost any weight for almost a year! I am just barely underweight, probably not even CR'd enough to get the kind of life-extension benefits I want, and I look so healthy that it's hard to believe that anyone could say I'm anorexic. How irksome!
I can understand how CR is not for everyone. Much like extreme sports, gourmet cooking, and ceremonial magick aren't hobbies that everyone wants to pursue, no matter what astounding benefits they might have. But must we characterize the healthiest among us as somehow disordered just because we PAY ATTENTION to what we put in our bodies?
The description of anorexia that Matt's family saw on a TV program is just absurd. I'll reproduce it for those of you who didn't get to read his comment:
There was a program on the T.V not long ago called "Doctor Doctor" in the U.K and it described some things that parents or relatives should be aware of. coincidentally just before the program I had a few people mention to me how thin I look now and thought I was ill or something... then the program comes on and gives a few indications of what to spot in Anorexia and some of the stuff they mentioned was things like weighing yourself, counting calories, preparing small foods, watching what you eat etc...
So if we pay attention to what we eat, how much we eat, and how much we weigh, we have an eating disorder???
The thing that drives me crazy about these people who see eating disorders under every rock and tree is that by their logic, anyone who does not achieve a weight that scores as "normal" on those stupid height and weight charts WITHOUT PAYING ANY ATTENTION OR DOING ANYTHING AT ALL has an eating disorder. If you're too thin, you're anorexic. If you count calories, pay attention to nutrition, and weigh yourself (or God forbid weigh your food!) you're anorexic. But if you're overweight, then you have a different eating disorder! You're probably a compulsive overeater.
Let me provide all with a newsflash: it is almost impossible in the society we live in to NOT pay attention to what you eat and remain healthy.
We are constantly bombarded with foods that are poison, yet when we search for healthier alternatives, we practically have to engage in summit talks with waiters to order a decent dish at a restaurant. Fast food restaurants abound with high calorie, saturated fat filled sugar laden crap. "Good" restaurants coat perfectly innocent vegetables, fish and meat with high calories sauces and serve them with nutritionally empty carbs. I feel like "no dressing, just some vinegar on the side" is my mantra... I'm not covering my salad in sugar filled oxidized oil of ill repute. I'd rather just go home and consume EVOO with my OO.
Take for instance the lunch that was served today at the executive board for my union, at a perfectly nice hotel with catering facilities. Cold cuts, bread, cheese, a mayo coated coleslaw (poor, poor cabbage, crying out to be free from under the crushing weight of the icky white goo!), brownies for dessert. The saving grace was a very nice mixed green salad with grape tomatoes, and some olives on the side. I made myself a huge plate of salad, topped it with some plain vinegar that I had to request from the back since the only things they had put out were some odd looking oily dressings, and consumed some of the olives for fat. If it weren't for the fact that MR had packed me a delicious Sherm's binging brownie, I would have had a protein-less, unsatisfying meal.
Oh yummy brownie. Oh how easy it is to transport, how beautifully it thaws while riding around in my bag. How I am the envy of all as I consume a perfectly balanced food, lovingly created by the hand of my Orange One. But I digress.
Eating in even a slightly healthy fashion in the US is like navigating an obstacle course. The grocery store is 99% stuff I'd never eat. Restaurants are mine fields. And I live in a major city! What about those folks who live in rural areas or very poor neighborhoods? Yikes!
Yet the eating disorder folks act like we're the ones with the problem.
Well, let me break it to you. Anorexia is not widespread. It is horrible, it nearly ruined the lives of several people who are very close to me, and I curse it at every opportunity. But it is not an epidemic.
Obesity is an epidemic. Heart disease is an epidemic. Type II diabetes is an epidemic. It can't even be called "adult onset" anymore because fat children are becoming diabetic! Before they're even old enough to understand their food choices.
In the midst of this crisis, people are picking on Matt? On me? On my beautiful angel, who thrills me to no end by telling them off in print as often as necessary?
Dying is not healthy. Gaining weight every year is not healthy. Eating whatever crap is put in front of you is not healthy.
Making wise decisions about your food choices is healthy. Monitoring your nutrition WITH NUTRITIONAL SOFTWARE (sorry, that's a rant for another day) and adjusting what you eat to maximize nutrition, minimize empty calories is healthy. Supplementing where necessary is healthy (yes, I take my pills now. You would too if a gorgeous boy brought them to you in bed every morning. I mean, unless you don't like gorgeous boys in your bed. In which case, imagine a gorgeous woman. Or a very attractive cat. With opposable thumbs. Or whatever.) Monitoring your health by getting regular bloodtests and adjusting your diet and lifestyle as necessary is healthy.
We need to come up with a series of progressive disciplinary actions for people who pick on us. First, counseling. We talk with the person about CR, refer him or her to the CR Society website, and perhaps recommend an easy to read book.
If the irksome behavior continues, we challenge the offender to a war of health, as measured by blood test results, energy, frequency of illness, and general appearance.
If he or she does not leave us alone, we politely request that he or she mind his or her own business.
If this is not successful, we sneak into the person's kitchen in the middle of the night, throw out all the gak, and replace with fresh vegetables, eggwhites, EVOO, flax oil, and whey protein powder.
Posted by april at 1:50 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 15, 2005
Healthy In Mind As Well As In Body
Okay, this one has been bugging me for quite a long time.
On the CR Society website, there is a very nice piece by Liza May, MS, about the differences between anorexia and CR. Overall, I really like it, and I've referred several friends who had questions to it. But there's a part that bothers me. It's in the part about paying attention to the kitchen scale, not the bathroom scale.
Successful, long-term practitioners of CR, healthy in mind as well as body, try to unleash themselves from the kitchen scale once the initial logistics of practicing CR are worked out and the number of calories in different portions becomes second nature.
Uh, huh?
Why?
If tracking your calories makes it easier for you to keep your calories low, especially if eating a consistent number of calories is important to you, then why would you want to "unleash" yourself from the scale?
In my experience, it is easier to do CR when I know how many calories I am eating. Now that may seem obvious, but clearly it's not obvious to everyone. Yes, it's a bit of a pain to weigh food, but I find that it's much more of a pain to wonder what I'm eating, and then to wonder why I'm hungry or why I'm gaining weight when I'm eating foods of indeterminate calorie value.
This came home to me Monday night when I was finally able to come home and cook for my darling Orange One, instead of eating at a Denny's or a Ruby Tuesday's. It was such a relief to DWIDP our dinner, weigh his, and cut the portions in half for mine. He gets 300 grams of mushrooms, I get 150. He gets 200 grams of tomatoes, I get 100. You get the idea.
I find that when I weigh my food carefully, or eat foods of predetermined calories like my cottage cheeses and yogurts and frozen veggies, it's much easier to stick to my calorie goals. I don't have to worry about a hunger freak out because I've accidentally gone too low, and I don't have to worry about accidental calorie creep.
Does this somehow make me a nutcase?
I doubt that Liza meant to imply that there's something "unhealthy," mentally, about weighing one's food. After all, her good friend Mary, aka Little MR, weighs her food at home. It has been my experience that almost no one can measure portions accurately without the aid of a tool, whether that's a scale, a teaspoon, or a measuring cup. Maybe there's someone whose spatial relationship skills are so good that he can know six ounces of chicken just by looking at it, but that person can also parallell park an eighteen-wheeler. I am not that person.
So doesn't it make sense for me, and my fellow spatially-challenged brethren, to weigh and measure my food?
Our society's ideas of what is "normal" are so screwy that it seems odd to actually want to know exactly what one is putting in one's body. No one questions the person who knows how much money she makes, or how much she spends. It is quite routine to meet a woman who knows how much she paid, on sale, for every pair of shoes she owns. But to know how many calories you ate for dinner: that's unhealthy!
Again, with apologies to Liza, whose work I think is brilliant other than this one point, I don't think the CR Society should be encouraging the labeling of those who weigh their food as "unhealthy in body and mind." There are many styles of CR, and for those who don't like to weigh and measure their food, that's fine. But those of us who do just put a higher value on precision. It doesn't make us obsessed, compulsive, or insane. I prefer to think of it as using the tools available to reach a goal. No one would consider it nuts to know how heavy each dumbell that one lifts is, if building muscle strength is the goal. Why is it unhealthy to know the weight of your salad?
I venture to say that MR's style of hardcore CR would be impossible without constant vigilance with the kitchen scale. MR rarely weighs himself: he understands that it's about CALORIES, not about weight loss. But he never eats a morsel of food that isn't calorie counted. His style of hardcore CR isn't for everyone (though I happen to find it incredibly sexy), but if maximum life-extension is your primary goal, then it sure makes a lot of sense to do maximum CR with maximum ON. It's awful hard to do that with guestimating.
Food is a wonderful, life-giving, pleasure-producing thing. Its enjoyment is not decreased at all by careful measuring. I would say that food loves to be weighed, except that I'm afraid one of my readers would say, "Objects hate to be anthropomorphized!"
There are many ways to practice CR, and many tools that people find helpful in their quest for the healthiest life possible. I find that CR is a lot easier if I know how many calories I am eating. So much so that I am downright downtrodden after these four weeks of being trapped in a calorie un-controllable food environment. The scale is a helpful tool for me, as are my pink measuring spoons and my trusty measuring cup.
Does that make me a big freak? Maybe so, but I'm getting smaller every day.
Posted by april at 9:08 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
September 14, 2005
Organizer Bunny
It just keeps going and going and going and going.
The month of shift changes continues, and with it the salads at RT and breakfasts at Denny's. Happily, last night I was able to come home for dinner and cook for my Orange One. I made a very simple dish of all his kale, eu choi and mustard green and Swiss chard stems chopped and boiled in veggie broth with garlic and 150 calories of eggwhites. Blackberries with hazelnut oil on the side, olive and flax oil added to the dish. I wasn't feeling well... I seem to have acquired a bizarre stomach virus... so I just ate some eggwhites with flax oil and Carolina Treet and a half cup of cottage cheese with a half cup of Trader Joe's marinara on top. I was feeling so sick that I added some Coke to my pinot noir! Now that's desperate. Coke always settles my stomach though, and I was able to eat. MR did all the dishes so that I could go straight to bed after dinner.
Still not feeling well at all, but did my shift change meeting this morning as usual, then went over to the old apartment for the last time to gather the last of my belongings and say goodbye. Turned in my keys.
Off to return to Ruby Tuesday's. Then after shift change I'm coming back to the office to make work calls until 7 pm, then heading over to meet my friend Melinda for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Remember how I got the excellent eggwhite omlette there last time we went? I'm looking forward to a healthy, CR friendly treat. Then when I get home, there will be a strange man in my house!
Posted by april at 10:04 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 13, 2005
A Month of Tuesdays
I heard an interview on NPR the other day with a woman who wrote a book called A Month of Sundays, about her experience visiting religious services on 31 consecutive Sundays, searching for the meaning of life or some such thing. I don't think she found it. Anyway, I feel like I am having a month of Tuesdays. Ruby Tuesdays, that is.
The month of shift change continues, with the welcome change that now I have some help, so I am liberated from doing the 7:30 pm meetings at Denny's. Now I leave my house at 6:30 am and get home about 6 pm. Nice! I got to cook dinner for MR last night! I made some mushrooms that my mom had purchased at the mushroom festival in Kennett Square, PA, the mushroom capital of the world (MR asked why it's the mushroom capital. I said it's cause that's where the mushrooms get together to make laws, have their surpreme court, etc. He seemed to think it was funny.) I cooked them in pinot noir for about forty-five minutes, along with garlic, tomatoes, and eggwhites. I added olive oil to MR's, flax to mine. Wow, it was yummy! And so easy too, though you want to make sure to simmer it for at least 30 minutes so that the alcohol cooks down. Half an hour of simmering cuts the wine's calories in half. However, I don't plan to be simmering my evening glass of wine anytime soon.
MR had a great time at SENS, and came back looking younger, which I thought was evidence that it must have worked.
Super busy... more soon... just thought I'd give you a quick update.
Posted by april at 9:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 11, 2005
Re-Raveling
Re-raveling is the opposite of un-raveling. I've spent so much time and effort at work lately that I feel like the rest of my life has been neglected. I've been eating entirely at Denny's and Ruby Tuesday's (remiding you all, this is cause I have to meet nurses there, not because I actually *want* to eat out,) not sleeping nearly enough, and not having enough time to properly cuddle my furry ones. It worked out well that MR was at SENS this weekend, since I have been so busy that I would barely have seen him anyway. I'll be so glad to pick up MR today... having him around is a constant reminder to take care of myself. And he's really, really cute.
Today I'm engaging in the healing process of cleaning the house. I am not being in the slightest bit sarcastic here. I actually find cleaning to be spiritually cleansing as well as domestically cleansing. The floor is about to be mopped, the surfaces have been duested, the shower has been cleaned. The fridge has in large part been cleaned out. Then I'm heading out to Whole Foods to pick up MR foods.
For lunch I'm meeting my mother and her best friend who is in town for the weekend. We're going to the Cresheim Cottage Cafe. I may get the fruit and yogurt, or a salad, or perhaps the fritata if they'll do it with eggwhites. It's around the corner from me and so cute! They have outdoor dining in a gorgeous little garden.
Posted by april at 4:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 10, 2005
One Small Cookie
I continue to be distraught about Katrina... absolutely rejoicing that Laura and Liz are safe, but so sad for all of those who have lost loved ones, their homes, and their homeland. I wish there were more I could do.
In the meantime, I have been working and getting ready for my angel's return. Tonight will involve making his lunch for the days when he returns, which I think will be a chickpea chili with no-salt added diced tomatoes and tons of delicious spices. I will also be sweeping and mopping the floors, washing the sheets and pillowcases, and cleaning the bathroom. I want everything to be sparkling when my angel returns to his home, and I also want to remove any sign of Kieffer's little difficulties over the last few days.
When I came home last night I discovered that Kieffer, still upset about my long work hours and MR's absence, had once again pooped on the floor. I cleaned everything before running out to meet some friends at North by Northwest, where I enjoyed a ton of food including hummus and pita, baba ganoush, a Jamacian chicken soup, and we shared entrees that were technically appetizers: crab quesidillas, steamed mussels (zinc!) and chicken enchilada. I got full pretty quickly, as my eyes are always bigger than my stomach when I've spent the day saving calories for a night out at a restaurant. But my friends Dan and Paul were able to finish off the amazing food. They came back with me to the house to see the new place, and expressed that they're looking forward to meeting the guy who totally rocks my world but is at present out of town.
I love going out with my guy friends because it provides me with an opportunity to offer advice. As you know, I love to offer advice. I offered much advice about their various girl problems, and very much enjoyed the role of "girl you can trust to tell you the truth."
Today I have been running about... got my hair done, went to a political fundraiser for a friend who is running for town council. It was an "all-dessert" party, and I showed up and ate one small cookie. That's all. I enjoyed the cookie, and eating one made me feel normal and not deprived, but watching everyone else chow down, I was relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of gorging myself at the dessert table.
Meanwhile, I have started cooking my barbeque sauce INTO my eggwhites, and it's amazing! I could eat it for every meal. Well, today I actually have eaten it for every meal. But I promise I'll eat some veggies!
Posted by april at 5:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 9, 2005
The Exhaustion Wins the Day
Last night I got home quite early (as in 6 pm) because my temporary staff person, Vanessa, was able to take over the 7:30 pm meeting. I had lots of ideas about what to do: there's tons of house cleaning, I had at least an hour's worth of work that really needed to be done, and I thought of preparing lunches for MR's first week back so that he doesn't have to descend too quickly from the high plane of SENS II to the lower plane of crock pot cooking.
First, I was greeted with the information that my cat Philomena had thrown up on the bed. Sheets in the wash, again. I think I am washing my sheets three times a week now, between MR's allergies and the cat's habit of throwing up on things.
Then Kieffer, in what I can only take as an effort to demonstrate his displeasure at my extensive work hours and MR's sudden absence, pooped on the floor twice and peed in his little kitty basket, right on the kitty blanket that my mother had embroidered with his name. Charming. I bet MR has never had a cat miss him so much. I'm sure he'll feel loved. You know, I miss him a lot too, but I still manage to utilize the appropriate restroom facilities for my species.
So I put the blanket in the wash, threw out the basket (you can't get cat pee out of wicker) and cleaned the floor.
Then I ate a handfull of wasabi peas and went to bed. At 7:30 pm.
I feel much better now. Was up promptly at 5 am to head out for the morning meeting am only on my second cup of coffee of the day. Yesterday, even the people at Starbucks were getting scared as I ordered my third refill at 11 am. Even I think that's too much caffeine.
Today I had another successful raw veggie omlette at Denny's. It's quite good when it's cooked with no butter or oil and the veggies are crisp. I had a cup of my very own, very best lowfat cottage cheese, and will probably go pick up a salad at Subway, since I didn't have time to make anything to bring for lunch. Vanessa is taking over the afternoon meetings today, but I have a meeting with different workers at 4 pm. Then tonight I am making an attempt to catch up a bit on my social life (something I've pretty much forgotten about since the shift change meetings started) by meeting a friend at a local restaurant that is in walking distance of my house. It's called North by Northwest, and you can read the menu here. A band is playing at ten, but there's no way I'm staying up that late. I hope to be at home and in bed by long before ten. Then tomorrow I have more work to do on my work, more work to do on cleaning out my old apartment (how can one small person have so much stuff???) and more work to do on cleaning the new house to prepare for MR's re-entry into his home. He is actually allergic to cats, but CR has helped him so much that he can live in peace and harmony with my two shedding felines as long as I keep the place well swept and mopped at all times and no one sleeps on his head.
I'm also going to put up my Halloween decorations. I go really, really crazy with holiday decor. I hope MR likes my spooky bat holiday lights and my plush pumpkins. Not to mention my pumpkin head tealights and my spooky cat candleholder with sparking green eyes. And my Halloween placemats and baby pumpkins and ornamental gourds and... well, you get the idea. He will walk into a Halloween wonderland. He will probably collapse on the floor laughing.
Should I pick him up from the airport in a pointy hat?
Posted by april at 9:36 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 8, 2005
Pizza Disaster, Triumph at Denny's
I knew it was a mistake to show up hungry to a meeting where the best pizza I've ever had would be served. Pinnochio's of Media, PA, has amazing pizza, and I was attacked by the smell of it while waiting to begin the meeting at 2 pm yesterday. All I'd eaten all day was my eggwhites (I didn't have an am meeting yesterday so I got to embrace the beloved eggwhite in the comfort of my own home.) and a half cup of lowfat cottage cheese. Wow, I was starving. Oooops. Ate pizza. I can't tell you exactly how much pizza I ate because if MR read it, or someone told him about it, he might be so frightened that he would catch the first plane home to come rescue me from myself. And we wouldn't want that to happen now would we? I can assure him that it won't happen again any time soon, and that I will carefully balance out the calories in my remaining meals this week. It would be terrible if he came home to find that I had aged! We have so many fun things to do with our remaining radically extended lifespan.
I felt like absolute crap after eating the pizza. Ugh ugh ugh. Greasy food doesn't sit well with me after CR.
This morning, however, I had an excellent Denny's experience. I asked the chef to not cook the veggies at all, and to cook the eggbeaters in as little oil as possible. What I got back was an omlette with almost no visible grease and some nice crunchy veggies, lightly steamed just from being in the hot omlette, but mostly raw. I think it's safe to count it as the 330 calories it's advertised to be, since as one of my dear readers pointed out, they must account for some measure of oil in the cooking. Thanks to Joey for the suggestion! I try to avoid egg yolks since they are such concentrated sources of saturated fat and cholesterol, but I think I'm all set now with my raw veggie eggbeater omlette! Yea for the Denny's!
Okay, gotta run off to the Ruby Tuesday's for yet another meeting. Salad. More salad. And more salad.
Posted by april at 8:51 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 6, 2005
Stress, Exhaustion and Hunger
Well, we've noticed it before, but stress, sleep-deprivation, and general exhaustion can lead to hunger! I've been getting too little sleep with my crazy work schedule, and between that and being away from my usual food sources, I feel nutritionally messed up! I was so hungry today for lunch! I ate my greasy eggwhite veggie omlette at 7:30 am at the Denny's, then my afternoon shift change wasn't till 2 so I ate just an 80 calorie half cup serving of cottage cheese between, and by the time I arrived at the Ruby Tuesday's at 2 I was so hungry! I ate a ton of salad... a large scoop of their cottage cheese which I really should not eat cause I'm sure it's full fat, then at few giant helpings of veggies, including too many hot peppers so that even I felt a touch sick. Then I ate a large plate of fruit: mandarin oranges, pears, pineapple, and dried cranberries. I'm sure it added up to a lot of calories, and since I ate at 2 and ate so much, I'm not hungry now. I'm home at six, with about two hours worth of work to do from home tonight, and some housework. I am learning that cleaning a three bedroom house with a dining room, living room and kitchen is where two people live (in addition to two cats who shed constantly) is a lot more work than cleaning a one bedroom apartment. News flash! Luckily, when MR is here, he takes care of the recycling.
I should be able to get to bed early tonight, which will be wonderful since I have been getting to bed well after ten every night and getting up at 5. Last night my cat Philomena began howling at 3 am, proving once and for all that my cats are only "good kitties" as long as they are performing for MR. As soon as he goes, the howling at 3 am begins. I think she was hungry... she gets on a weird cycle depending on when she gets her subcutaneous fluids... but I didn't want to reward the middle of the night howling with tuna fish or canned food, so I drew her attention to her dry food, which she ate and went back to sleep. She very much enjoyed taking over MR's entire side of the bed in his absence.
The list of things to do is enormous... back to it.
Posted by april at 6:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Frustration At Denny's
The month of shift changes continues, and I am irked to find that my eggwhite omlette, supposedly 330 calories, is drenched in some evil looking liquid that could be butter or oil, and I am certain it is not properly stored flax oil. GRRRRR!!! I have been eating it, but at this point I am quite concerned that I am consistently going over calories, and I don't even like the greasy part! So I'm thinking of a new strategy: I will order three hard boiled eggs, in the shell so they can't be corrupted, and peel them myself, eating the whites and donating the yolks to local wildlife. Shoot my flax oil at home on a teaspoon morning and night. I am so annoyed because in spite of my frequent requests that my omlette be made with NOTHING in the pan, it keeps coming back greasy!!
Meanwhile, MR is off to England and I had to get my own supplements this morning at 5 am. How irksome. It's amazing how quickly one can turn into a princess. I am so used to my beautiful Orange One serving up my supplements that I feel truly put out to have to fish them from their bottles myself.
Back to the crazy week of work.
Posted by april at 8:06 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
September 5, 2005
CR Solidarity
We CR folk really look after each other! One of the sisters, concerned that MR might literally starve to death in CR-not-so-friendly Cambridge, offered suggestions of a store where MR might pick up some food, and even offered to rescue him if he is need of CR sustanance! Now that's CR solidarity!
I put my Orange One on the plane today, and then went right back to work. Just now getting home at 9 pm and looking forward to eight hours of sleep before I have to get up at 5 am to be out the door again at 6:15 for another long, long day. I am tired, and there are people outside celebrating Labor Day loudly giggling. At least I spent Labor Day doing labor organizing.
Posted by april at 8:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 4, 2005
Purple Eggwhites
Wow, what a week!!!
Sixteen hour days at work, followed by moving my furniture out of my old apartment on Friday, followed by a whirlwind trip to New York to hear a lecture on Saturday evening (we got home at about 11 pm, way past our bedtime!) concluding at last in a peaceful, restful day at home with my Orange Angel. We got up at regular time (5:40 -- MR gets up at the same time every day as a way to control his insomnia, and when I don't have to be up at 4 or 5 for work, I enjoy sleeping in till he brings me my supplements in bed at 6) and he made our "Sunday breakfast" - low carb, protein fortified organic pancakes, along with an eggwhite and veggie scramble. Delicious! I love Sunday breakfast. It always takes me back to the first weekend I spent with MR in Calgary. CR Zoned pizzas... stir fry with Quorn... Sunday breakfast... fancy Chai tea... no wonder I decided that spending the rest of my radically extended life with this man would be a good idea!
Today I made MR a very simple lunch of frozen veggies with eggwhites in vegetable broth, all Trader Joe's, along with some blueberries in hazelnut oil and hazelnuts. For dinner I made a delicious pot of fresh veggies, with 300 g zucchini, 200 g green pepper, a can of Muir Glen Organic Fire Roasted tomatoes, teaspoon olive oil, teaspoon flax oil, 4 g garlic minced, 20 g onion chopped. I sauteed the onion and garlic in 3 oz red wine, then added 150 calories of eggwhites (cooked in the microwaved and cut into cubes), which made the eggwhites turn purple! They were a truly magestic shade. Then I added the veggies and the tomatoes and simmered for about half an hour. I just ate my regular brewers yeast and broth soup with veggies... I eat so many tomatoes on a regular basis that I often reserve the fire roasted ones for the Orange One.
Tomorrow I am back to my crazy work schedule, leaving for my first morning meeting at 6 am. MR leaves for SENS tomorrow evening, and will be gone for six days! I'll be working solid 16 hour days for almost the entire time, so I won't have much time to sit around lamenting the absence of my Orange Angel, but I will miss him. My cat, however, will enjoy reclaiming her side of the bed.
Great news... Laura is alive and well!!! I got email from her. Sounds like she's displaced for awhile, but her company is making sure she can work, and she's safe! I am so happy. I had these horrible visions of our CR'd bloggiefriend starving to death, literally, as she tried to escape New Orleans. We continue to keep all the hurricane victims in our prayers, even as we're happy to get the news that our friend is safe.
Posted by april at 8:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 2, 2005
Tomato Tofu
After five days solid of shift change meetings at Denny's and Ruby Tuesday's, I was finally able today to get home for dinner and cook for my darling Orange One.
Here's what I made. It's simple and amazing!!! All credit goes to Bill Beckler, my ex-boyfriend, who introduced me to this recipe.
1 cup vegetable broth
200 g tomatoes
lite soy sauce (low sodium)
25 g scallions (green onions)
300 calories worth of tofu (extra firm is best)
Make the veggie broth, bring to a boil. Add tomatoes and scallions. Cook until tomatoes are soft and a bit wrinkly around the skin. Add tofu, cubed into tiny pieces. Add soy sauce to taste. Should have a vaguely Asian flair.
Add one teaspoon flax oil just before serving, after removing from heat.
I served to MR with organic raspberries and some Trader Joe's frozen blueberries with one teaspoon hazelnut oil. He loved it.
I continue to worry about Laura... I hope to hear from her soon. I am constantly praying for the hurricane victims, and I hope that our CR'd bloggiefriend Laura is able to contact us soon. Thank Goddess Liz is okay. I know I wish there was more that I could do, but I have sent in my donation and now all I can think of to do is pray.
How I wish I could make a nice CR dinner for Laura and her husband right now! It's funny how you can become close with people you've never met in the flesh. I am so worried that they might be hurt, or that they've lost everything they have. You can be sure that I will announce joyfully the second I hear from Laura!
Posted by april at 5:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 1, 2005
Liz Is Okay!
I just heard from Liz... she's fine! Wasn't hit at all, but is helping with tons of refugees from the harder hit areas.
Let's keep her, Laura, and all those affected in our prayers or whatever we deem appropriate.
Posted by april at 12:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Has Anyone Heard from Liz?
Hi all,
Just a quick answer to our commenter who wondered about Liz.
I heard from her on Monday and she was okay. I'm worried about Laura though and hope to hear from her soon.
Posted by april at 10:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack