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August 22, 2006
16 Is the Age of Waffle
For days I've been meeting with nurses in a hotel in Scranton where they have a free breakfast bar. I don't stay in the hotel, I just meet nurses there. The free breakfast bar includes Belgian waffles that you can make yourself in the waffle makers on the buffet. They're accompanied by a sign that says, "You must be 16 or older to operate the waffle maker. Children under 16 must be accompanied by an adult."
I've always found age cut-offs problematic, but this one is particularly perplexing. 16 to make a waffle? I really think I could have handled the waffle machine at 10, but I was a very mature child, so let's say 12. If it were for liability reasons, you'd think you'd have to be a legal adult of age 18, able to vote and fight and die in wars, in order to make a waffle at this hotel. I can understand the nightclub's slogan, "18 to party, 21 to drink," but "16 to waffle?" It's just bizarre.
I remember hearing (in a Christopher Durang play, admittedly not a reliable source) that Catholics defined age 7 as the "Age of Reason." I was pretty reasonable at 7 (ask my parents) but I don't consider most 7 year olds that capable of making their own decisions on important matters. 7 year olds are notoriously short, and therefore probably couldn't handle a waffle maker on a high counter, but that's a height thing, not an age thing. It just goes to show how unreasonable age minimums can be, even when they're about reason.
I can even understand if the waffle machine had a height minimum, like rollercoasters. If you can't safely *reach* the waffle iron, you can't make your waffle. But age 16?
It's ironic, also, that children in this hotel are protected from the nutrition-less carbs in Belgian waffles by an arbitrary age limit. Of course, they have unlimited access to the muffins, danishes, bagels, English muffins, and sugar-filled cereals.
That reminds me... the other day, I saw an obese woman in Starbucks buying her already overweight young son, maybe about seven years old, a giant chocolate muffin. For breakfast. I almost cried. I was so distraught that I accidentally swept my car key into the trash along with a stray dirty napkin. I had to ask the Starbucks guy if I could go through the trash. He said that he had to do it for me (liability reasons again, I'm guessing) so the poor fellow went through the trash and found my key. I may drop off a nice bottle of wine to the Starbucks for Steve, my trash-picking Starbucks rescuer. If it weren't for him, I'd still be sitting at the Chestnut Hill Starbucks reflecting on how I just *knew* something bad was going to happen to me for forgetting my travel mug and using a paper cup! He moves, it has been said, in mysterious ways. Keep an eye on your car key.
Posted by april at August 22, 2006 7:56 PM
Comments
Re: Your recent post about looking younger when you have a nutritious diet. You know you're eating right when you get carded at the waffle maker!
Posted by: howard at August 23, 2006 6:13 AM