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October 31, 2006
A Short Note About Vanity...
A little comment war has erupted re: the topic of vanity. Loyal reader one suggests that I seem a bit vain, loyal reader two disputes this, loyal reader one writes back:
I am merely referring to April's 'bikini' comments she makes throughout her blog. I have no desire to lose weight - I am reclaiming my vitality!!
I think she does a great job, but a reality check never hurt anyone. No harm intended
No offense taken! Or at least, not much. :) And one thing you have to know about Istanbulwitch: she speaks her mind sharply. That's one of my favorite things about her, and believe me, she's said much nastier things about me than most! Sometimes she's wrong, but she's never wimpy!
As to the frequent "bikini" comments: I am very deliberate in my addressing of the body image issue. I am openly happy with my post-CR body for two reasons:
1) In a country where some 95% or more of women dislike their bodies, I think it's important, nay, essential, that someone, preferably someone healthy, provide a counterweight. There is enough body-bashing already among the female population. I spent 29 years of my life at various stages of unhappiness with my body, and I'm done. I hope that by setting an example as a woman who dealt with weight issues (admittedly not obesity, but weight issues are painful at any degree) all her life, but has come to a place of happiness and peace through *healthy* means, not the latest fad diet or some sort of acceptance of fat and ill health, I can encourage other women to do the same.
By refusing to celebrate our bodies (as well as other aspects of our lives) we women play into the culture that degrades every thing we are and do. Let's stand up for ourselves a bit, eh? Whether that means being proud of our career successes, proud of how we parent our children, proud of how we take care of our bodies and the results, or proud of our ability to in-line skate down the highway at high speeds, I believe we should rejoice, openly, in who we are.
2) Whenever CR is discussed, the question is posed: "How is this different from anorexia?" I think Julian had one of the best treatments of this topic that I've ever seen in popular press, or come to think of it, anywhere. One profound difference between CR and anorexia: CR is based in self-love, anorexia is based in self-hatred. The anorexic looks in the mirror and hates her body. The CR folk are either not that concerned with appearance (MR has always been skinny and gave up on bulking up a long time ago) or look in the mirror and are pleased with their slim, healthy appearance. It's an important distinction, and one I want to make sure comes out very clearly in the blog.
Watching my closest friends be hospitalized for anorexia was enough of a reality check for me. I'd much rather be accused of being vain than be searching the mirror for imaginiary flaws.
If my example can encourage other women to celebrate their bodies openly, instead of constantly looking for that which needs fixing, I think the world will be a better place. And if not, at least no one will have to deal with one more girl asking, "Do I look fat?"
As to those who don't want to lose weight (and I love the phrase "reclaiming my vitality" - perfect!) I am now enjoying being among you! There are new challenges to becoming even healthier, and I love learning from you as we navigate all this. Robin's story the other day was instructive, I thought, about how others react to our efforts. Because I know so many of my readers come here looking for advice not so much on how to live longer but on how to slim down and feel better, I address that topic a great deal. I hope you'll bear with me, just like the folks who aren't interested in serious CR or in age-reversing medical technology skim over those parts to get to the diet advice. We all have different concerns and priorities, but we usually get along pretty well.
Besides, I spent so much of this summer working that I never got a vacation, so I never wore my bikini anyway. :( Let's hope there will be many more "next years."
Posted by april at October 31, 2006 5:30 AM
Comments
Trying to email Meredith Averill. Can anyone help?
Abbe
Posted by: Abbe at October 31, 2006 6:55 AM
I don't think there is any single human being out there, men or woman, who would not want to look fabulous in a bikini. We only accuse others of being vain when happy with their bikini look when we ourselves are not happy with it.
Posted by: istanbulwitchy at October 31, 2006 1:29 PM
April, yes I totally get it. Interesting POV. As for men looking fabulous in a bikini... I'm sorry, but it's not a good look! haha
Posted by: wookie at October 31, 2006 7:48 PM