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October 29, 2006

Debtorexia

This is a bit off topic, but I thought I should post it because you may have friends or family members who are suffering from a dangerous disorder that I just found out about.

Apparently, it starts out as a desire to pay the bills on time. Sometimes there's a triggering event: losing a job, bankruptcy, or just a bad experience with a late fee. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere. Most people who exhibit symptoms later in life had some warning signs earlier, though it can develop in a person who has always seemed to have normal spending/borrowing habits. It seems to hit the hardest among people in their fifties, no doubt as fear of a penniless retirement starts to consume their every waking thought.

Here are some clues that you, or someone you love, may have debtorexia:

-- Do you plan what you're going to spend in advance (ie, make a budget?) Do you sometimes plan out your spending weeks, even months in advance?

-- Do you deny yourself pleasures, like a new pair of shoes, because they "don't fit into your budget?"

-- Do you refuse, month after month, to carry a balance on your credit card? Do you pay your credit cards (and other bills) compulsively by the due date every single month?

-- Do you know your bank balance, your credit card balance, and how much is in your retirement accounts, down to the dollar, without even looking at your statement?

-- Have you read books or magazines about how to increase your financial security?

-- Do you sometimes put money into your "savings account" when you want to spend it on other things?

-- Does fear of debt cause you to put off pleasure, like eating in an expensive restaurant or going on a travel vacation because you don't want to owe anybody money or pay interest?

If you answered yes to all or most of these questions, chances are, you have a problem.

It's all well and good to be financially healthy and pay the electric bill before the lights get turned off, but the fact is, the majority of Americans are in some amount of consumer debt. It's natural to carry a balance on your credit card! Without the ability to spend money, life isn't worth living. Sure, interest payments can be a pain, but they're just a fact of life that you need to accept. Don't think of it as owing someone money -- think of it as the freedom to spend as you wish!

I can't imagine what it must be like to live with this disorder. Life just wouldn't be fun without the freedom to go on a little spending spree here and there. Where's the spontaneity in these people's sad existence? And how do they have time for all that budgeting, balancing the checkbook, and watching where their investments are going? Get a life!

Picture this: two women at a shoe store. One (the normal, healthy one) sees a pair of cute boots on sale. Of course she buys them. Her friend (the debtorexic) likes the boots too, and can understand that they're on sale, but she has a psychological block that prevents her from just throwing the things on her credit card. "It doesn't fit into my budget," she says. "We're saving up for new kitchen cabinets, and I don't want to spend money that I could be saving."

Her friend shakes her head sadly. The shoes are only $40, marked down from $120! The debtorexic is missing the shoe bargain of a lifetime (or at least of the month) but refusing to spend what is a perfectly reasonable amount of money on a healthy purchase. Women need shoes! Without them, our feet would wear out from pounding the pavement!

Jackie, our sample debtorexic, has a good friend who tries to reason with her. "Now Jackie, everyone knows that budgets don't work. 95% of people who get out of credit card debt just go back into it within five years. Put it on the plastic! Every month that you pay off your balance in full, we're getting more and more concerned about you. It was fine when it was just a passing phase, but now it seems like paying your bills on time and refusing to carry a balance on your card is becoming a way of life. How much time are you spending balancing your checkbook? Don't you have better things to do?"

Jackie is recalcitrant. She's been in debt before, and she loves the feeling of paying every last cent on that credit card every month... watching the interest column read 0... owning her car free and clear... having student loans paid off. She even got a 20 year mortgage on her house instead of a 30! She's paying money into her house that she doesn't have to... at the expense of things she could be BUYING!

Friend tries again. (Keep in mind that at any moment some saner, healthier woman might snatch up this pair of sale shoes while Jackie is standing there having some sort of problem.)

"What's the point of all this 'financial security' anyway? Tomorrow,your savings could be wiped out by a bank could collapse, or you could be hit by another Enron, or your house could burn down, and you'd be destitute anyway!"

The things is, you can't reason with these people. They're so obsessed with not having debt, with "financial security," that there is no room for impulse purchasing in their lives. It all has to fit within the budget. And if they don't have the money, they don't spend it. Never mind that civilization has evolved to the point where credit is available almost instantly to almost anyone... even college students can buy on credit! These people want to take us back to the stoneage where everyone bought only in cash, and where sometimes, people couldn't buy what they wanted because they didn't actually have the money.

I don't think we need to worry that these pathetic people will have much influence on society... most Americans are way too grounded in reality to adopt such a lifestyle of deprivation. I'm not worried that the Debt Police are going to come to my house and shred my Visa card. But I do feel sorry for the individual sufferers, locked up in their homes at night, balancing their checkbooks and writing out next month's budget.

If you know someone whose fear of going into debt, or worse, not having any savings, prevents him or her from spending in a normal, healthy fashion, please, please encourage him or her to get help.

PS Oh dear, it must not be clear that I am in fact being sarcastic in an attempt to illustrate a point that has been kicking around my head for awhile now. This commenter definitely did not get it, and understandably so on his or her first visit to the blog. Sorry you walked in at an awkward moment, and welcome! I totally agree that it would be nutty if I were a life-extensionist who didn't believe in saving for the future!

Here's the comment/question:

"This is my first visit to this blog - are you trying to be sarcastic or what? How can a life-extensionist defend a viewpoint that the long-term does not matter? I don't get it. Your goal should be to get financially independent by the time you're 75 or so at the latest, which means that you should have assetts at least in the low 7-figures, and not be in debt! Besides, investing is way more fun than buying new shoes - try it!"

Now, first, take a moment to imagine what kind of flak I would get if I took the same tone with an obese person that this person took with me when he or she thought I was a person in debt. "Besides, eating healthy food is way more fun than being fat!" But moving on, here's my response (formerly its own entry but moved here for clarity.)

Dudes, time to chill. OF COURSE I'M BEING SARCASTIC.

I completely agree with Lindsay. I'm Jackie, the girl who has no debt and is lovin it! No new shoes for me, but every month, I really enjoy paying my bills in full. Paid off my car, paid off my loans, paid off all credit cards, pay everything every month. No matter what. Can't afford it on the budget... don't buy it!

Just like extra weight and unhealthy eating habits, consumer debt is "normal" but bad! Dangerous, horrible, will ruin your life!

And yet, if you compare the habits of the financially healthy, they have a lot in common with the habits of those who do CR. Attention to detail, delayed gratification, putting your future ahead of what you might have a passing impulse to buy/shove in your mouth.

Everyone (or most people, I hope!) recognizes that consumer debt is bad, and that investment and planning make are good when it comes to money. Yet, that same kind of attention to detail in what you put into your body is mocked at best, pathologized at worst. Just do a quick google search for "orthoexia" and see what I mean. Or read any of the popular press about CR. Folks who balance their checkbooks, save money, and refuse to buy crap they don't need are considered wise, sane, and reasonable. Yet those of us who treat our bodies with the same respect that financially healthy people treat their bank accounts are self-involved, obsessed, and weird.

Get it?

I love being financially healthy. I've been in debt and I've been debt free, and let me tell you, debt-free is better. I've also been fat and I've been thin, and thin is a whole lot more fun. I've been unhealthy and I've been healthy, and the later is more work, but is more than worth it.

Nothing tastes as good as being alive feels.

Posted by april at October 29, 2006 7:15 AM

Comments

Posted by: F at October 29, 2006 9:21 AM

Posted by: Lindsay at October 29, 2006 9:21 AM

Posted by: Little MR at October 29, 2006 1:29 PM

Posted by: April at October 29, 2006 1:37 PM

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