April's CR Diary

Maybe at one point he started a restaurant and had it fail because no one came? He might be projecting his feelings of anger at himself for his 'failure' onto people who don't eat out (and in his mind caused his failure). The odds are that over 60% percent of all restaurants fail in three years.

I eat out once or twice a week, but at the same time I realize I don't have any control over the sanitary aspects of it. It is almost a certainty that at some time I have eaten food that had been nibbled by mice or insects, had the waiters or cooks saliva or worse, dropped on the floor and put back on the plate, or improperly refrigerated/contaminated with nasty bacteria.

When you eat out, you are putting your trust in everyone in that restaurant, which, if you think about minimum wage workers, isn't all that good of a bet.

Having said that, I will continue eating out, and accept the good with the bad.

I was a little suprised when that comment came up about MR. You made a good analogy too.

Its like I don't really enjoy going out to drink alcohol and get drunk. I'm automatically considered "weird" because of this. But give me a tent, some food, hunting stuff I'd go on little adventures around the country, world or whatever. Something exciting! Restaurants aren't my thing either, and never really eat in them.

We all have our little personalities and people should respect them, obviously MR is very committed and careful in implemting CRON in his life. This should be a good thing.

Most people doing CR aren't following it to the same extent as the more serious CRers, quite obviously. Like you said before, these people eating out in Restaurants all the time are VERY likely not Calorie restricting as much as they think they are. Same goes for those who don't weigh all the food they eat.

Dear April,

It would only be an eating disorder is he really wanted to eat at a restaurant but the thought of failing CRON would prevent him doing so.

This would be Orthorexia Nervosa. I deveopled this disorder through my aim for perfect health and perfect CRON. Eating dictated/controlled my life. After recovery I will be looking at a more relaxed way of approaching CRON, because I did feel the benifits.

Great Blog.

Best Wishes,

Nick Theodorou.

Here's why I like eating in restaurants: It's an escape from the "real world." If I go home to eat, my computer is sitting there staring at me and telling me I should be paying the bills. Doing Christmas shopping. Finishing up the stuff I didn't do at work. The house is staring at me telling me to do the dishes. Change the kitty litter. Sweep the floor. Etc.

Going out to eat is an excuse to relax. And that (as I am well aware) is a disorder in and of itself...it would be so much healthier (mentally, physically, monetarily) for me if I could learn how to relax AT HOME, instead of having to go out in order to relax.

Anyhoo, I'll bet that's true for a lot of people. Going out to eat is a way of avoiding the demands that work and home place on them, and makes them feel less harried. If you're not at home (or if you go out to lunch, so you're not at the office), then there's obviously no way you can do all the things you're "supposed" to be doing. The problem isn't with you, April (as you well know) -- the problem is with society. In my opinion, anyway. :-)

AN is almost ALWAYS a pathological condition, whereas the still yet to be recognised ON is not 'always' pathological, but health giving, unless that person is utterly stupid and lives on a few lettuce leaves and kill thsmelve, but believe me, the likelyhood of this in people like michael, who strives for immortality, or longer life is not a road he is likely to go down, right Michael?

IMO Orthorexia is bs,

lets make up a name for everything and call it a disorder

*roles eye*

Now that is an interesting question, maybe moreso because I'm in the middle of "Mindless Eating" (Brian Wansink). I'd hope he mentioned it out of a genuine concern but it could also be a bit of self consciousness on his part. There is quite a bit of press being devoted to portion size, health/safety/nutrition in restaurants as they seem to have become the new national hobby. The more you realize just how little control you have over your food at the average restaurant the less appealing they become on the basis of food alone (good company is, of course, another story but that can be had elsewhere just as easily as the food).

I've been on both ends of the spectrum. I ate out a lot in college - it was easy because DC had so many restaurants catering to staffers making about as much as I did - to the point where that became my only mode of socializing. It took grad school to remind me that fun could be had without food and doggy bags or at least a latte. I was definitely in a restaurant rut and, interestingly, it was really only a small collection of places I found comfortable. I don't know MR at all so I'll just speak for myself but I'm not sure extroverted people necessarily understand that restaurants aren't always fun for those of us who are very introverted. Food aside, I don't always want to go out, be around a lot of people, talk to a waiter over the course of what I would rather be a silent meal, etc.

They have been food controls in restaurants and take aways in some European countries...very scary to see that some foods were simply out of date... Or that frozen food use for standard meals were simply refrozed because of low sale. The oil they use in mainly TRANS fat or cheap fat substitutes which is a deadly food source for CR people. Also I can't stand beeing stressed while eating by passive smoking or annoying people.

Hi April
I too find restaurants a challenge for CR. Last week I went with a coworker to a healthy vegetarian restaurant. After we had received the food, which normally if shared by two would not make me gain weight, she reminded me of an allergy to wheat. I was stuck with eating the appetizer and soup, which had wheat, and she ate the main entree. I gained weight.

Sometimes I make tentative plans to meet former coworkers for lunch as a way to catch up. Then I'm relieved when the plans get canceled, so I don't have to gain weight, or suffer the pain of figuring out where I can eat that I can find a reasonable thing to eat. For a vegetarian it's more difficult. However, I admire the discipline of Mary Robinson, who likes eating out and can figure what to eat and what to avoid in a restaurant. Our professional lives sometimes demands that we be able to eat out with colleagues, so it is good to have the skills of chosing wisely what to eat in a restaurant.
Arturo

I couldn't help but chuckle over this whole thing. This "going out to eat" phenomenon only arose in the last few centuries. For most of human history, average people didn't have the option of eating out. Even today, most people in the world don't have this option. Even in fairly wealthy countries like Norway and Finland, most people don't eat out. It's just prohibitively expensive to do so. So I guess the vast majority of humans who have ever lived on this planet had an eating disorder, right?
I grew up in a little town in West Virginia. Going out to eat generally meant going to McDonald's or some other fast food joint and eating nothing but fat, sugar and salt. That was all that was available and people couldn't afford anything better anyway. Many people there go out to eat at these places almost every night. And guess what? They're among the fattest, unhealthiest folks in the country!
My mom, bless her, was adamantly opposed to going out to eat. We ate together as a family sitting around our dinner table in our home every single evening. It was very Norman Rockwell. It was also very healthy. While we lived at home, my brother and I were never overweight and never suffered the health problems that many of our peers had.
My mom still hardly ever eats out. While the people around her have grown obese and developed diabetes, she has remained healthy. I stayed pretty thin until I started making enough money to go out to eat once in a while. And suddenly, my weight started going up.
I still go out to eat and make the healthiest choices I can when I do. I'm one of those people who really hates cooking and jumps at the chance to let someone else worry about it. But I'm very mindful of the fact that people who run restaurants aren't at all interested in my health or well-being. They're selling taste, and they know that fat, sugar and salt all taste good. I do my best but whenever I eat out, I *know* I'm getting a lot of nasty stuff I don't want. And I guess that lessens my enjoyment of the whole thing. So I try to do it less often, and I must say, I think I'm healthier for it.
Anyway, I wouldn't let this guy ruffle your feathers too much. My guess is that he sees MR practicing CR much more strictly than he does and that makes him feel judged or threatened in some way, so he's just using the old stand-by argument that MR must have an eating disorder to justify his own choices. People are so pathetically predictable sometimes.
The only bad thing I see in all this is that there are CR people fighting among themselves when the real monsters in our society - obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancer - are killing off good people every day. Can't we all just focus our energies on conquering those enemies?

In my experience in the US eating out is seen as primarily social with little or no attention paid to the quality of food itself (as is with drinking in the UK). The proliferation of chain restaurants as public spaces when so few otherwise exist or are utilised is fairly standard in suburban or new town areas. It's the equivalent of fifty years ago, announcing to one's family that you weren't going to church - to you it's about rejecting the religion, to them it looks like rejecting the community. Unfortunately, people will take not eating out as a sign of lack of sociability, which it is not (as a former vegan April, I'm sure you experienced loads of horror initially, until you explained your choices to friends and surrounded yourself with a like-minded community). The truth is that because restaurants have replaced most other areas of socialisation, many people are unable to imagine a life in which they don't figure greatly. That's when you two set the example and re-educate :)

I really don't enjoy eating out either -- and I work in a restaurant! I love working there and it affords me the money I need for grad school, but maybe because I spend so many hours in restaurants, when I'm not there, I don't want to be sitting in one. I'd much rather take that money and buy myself a new dress (or even a new outfit as I shop mainly in thrift stores) that I can wear all year than spend it on one meal that inevitably disappoints me and makes me wish I'd cooked at home and been able to have exactly what I wanted prepared the way I like it best, all in a nice quiet, peaceful atmosphere.

A lot of people enjoy the dining out experience, and I enjoy providing it for them in my job, but it's not a priority for me, my nutrition, or my bank account.

Interesting. We have ALMOST stopped going out to restaurants. As we started to cook more and more from the farmer's market, we found that our food actually tastes better than most restaurants, so unless it's something really really special or something we can't reproduce at home, we stay in. The interesting thing is that people who eat out several times a week keel over in shock when they find out how much we pay to buy our organic food at the farmer's market. My friend visiting from the East Coast had her jaw drop when I bought $14 worth of fruit.....6 persimmons, 2 pears and 6 apples. Besides being low in calories, it averages out to a mere $2 a day in healthy breakfasts and snacks for 2. If I bought a MickeyD's breakfast sandwich, I would spend over $3....for one day (that's $6 if I bought 2) and just going to Starbucks for a fat filled, sugar bomb pastry snack is $2 (more like $4 if I get coffee). People eating all this crappy food don't understand taste, don't understand nutrition and don't understand personal economics! That being said, I love going to a Thai, Vietnamese or Japanese once in a while or a really upscale place for a very special occasion (like a birthday). However, the food in these places is generally stuff that I can't reproduce at home.

though I myself like to cook at home most nights, I do like the odd night out at a nice restaurant. Just as April mentioned the reaction being disproportional to the stimulus amongst people suprised by MR's not eating at restaurants, I find equally disproportional the reaction of people posting comments.

I live in NYC where there is a plethora of good quality restaurants. Also eating out seems to be a liscense for most people to choose the fattiest items on the menu. As long as you dine at restaurants that serve good quality products, and choose items off the menu that are healthy, then what's so negative about eating out? I love to cook but find eating out allows me to escape feeling monotonous of my own cooking- i find myself discovering new modes of cooking, new ingredients etc.

I eat out 2 times a wk at healthy restaurant (never fast food and chain places) and I find myself able to maintain equilibrium.

If you exercise control over where you eat when you eat out, and what you order I don't think it has to be a bad thing.

In response to Distar:

At the risk of sounding a little obnoxious, most places in the United States are not remotely similar to New York City and it isn't at all fair to pretend that they are.

I currently live in Boston where, as in NYC, one can find good restaurants and make reasonably healthy choices so I *do* eat out occasionally. But my hometown in West Virginia does not offer these kinds of options. There, you can choose between McDonald's, Wendy's, Pizza Hut, KFC and other similar fast food chains, and that's about it. I'm willing to bet that most places in the U.S. look a lot more like my hometown than NYC or Boston in terms of restaurant options. And in that situation, I'd rather stay at home than go out to eat (I never eat out when I go home to visit with my folks).

Of course, you're right that it's possible to find something healthy to eat in most places (even McDonald's) if you just work hard enough to make it happen. I'm not knocking people who do that. But the sad fact is that most people *don't* do that. People don't go to McDonald's for the salads!

I'm not trying to pick a fight with people who go to restaurants. I'm just saying that given how easy it is to eat unhealthy foods in restaurants, it's not at all unreasonable for MR to decide that he'd rather avoid the fuss and eat at home. And it's crazy for anyone to suggest that he has an eating disorder for making what, to my mind, is an extremely rational decision.

And I will say that even here in Boston, I always feel like I'm going to battle when I go out to a restaurant. I end up grilling the waiter about whether there's butter in the veggies or hidden trans fats or other unhealthy things in my food. And you know what? More than half the time, I find out that the chef has taken a perfectly healthy veggie and slathered it in so much butter that it's no longer something I would consider healthy at all. And that's at the *good* restaurants.

I stand by my argument that people running restaurants are more interested in making things taste good than in making things healthy. I mean, here in Boston, the mere suggestion that we might force restaurants to do away with trans fats, which are so bad for you that some nutitionists say they're basically poison, has led to a huge outcry from restaurant owners who claim they can't make the food taste as good if they can't use trans fats. Doesn't that prove that they don't give a damn about my health? I mean, if they aren't even willing to ban something as nasty and harmful as trans fats, how can anyone honestly believe they have people's best interests at heart?

Interesting - all this hullabaloo just when visiting family said last night, "and you two must let us take you out to eat for your anniversary!" My first thought was, "do we have to?" The only place I could think to go is that owned by chef friends of mine, whom I hardly get to see, and I want to go there to see them, not to eat their food! Crazy. But to refuse the gesture would be insulting, so I'm stuck.

I'm afraid that I'm with MR on this one. I don't eat out at restaurants, and on the odd occasion that I go with my family to eat, my son and I choose to just have a drink (tea usually) and then eat when we get home.
That way, I actually get to control what goes into my body, rather than pot luck and trusting the chef.
Does this make me fantatical ? No, just choosy.
I happen to think that what I prepare at home is tasty and "real food" compared with restaurant food, which usually isn't!

If there is somebody with an eating disorder around here, it's arturo, who thinks he gained weight after eating out in a restaurant. Poor soul!
Eating out is always risky business but it's also fun most of the time. I find it best when you have a couple of restaurants where you know the staff and the works of the kitchen, know them to be clean and fresh and go to them frequently when eating out.
If you're going to freak about cockroaches and saliva and etc., you shouldn't buy anything from outside period and grown your own veggies, run your own mill and slaughter your own beef. We are past the point in civilization where we have the luxury to worry about the cleanness of our food. Just accept the fact it's not going to be very clean and sanitary ever, hope to have the good enough immune system to deal with it and let it go.
I prefer home cooking too. I only have one concern for people who never ever eat out. They're prisoners in their own territory because once you make that a principle, your travel options are out. Your travel options to other countries are majorly out. You're stuck with home. I bet people don't have a problem with that but to me, not being able to travel in the world would be a major nightmare.
That's why, have principles but be flexible too, to have the best of both worlds.

This is a very bizarre topic, that people would suggest someone has an Eating Disorder because they don't like restaurants??!! Weird!! I'm not big on restuarants, but it's because I have little control over HOW they prepare my food AND what are they doing with my food back there... and also I think to myself "I am spending 10 dollars for a salad I could have made myself for two dollars!" I'm a cheapskate I guess. But I also enjoy the challenge of finding CR-appropriate menu items in new places. And we have a few stand-by favorites like Ruby Tuesday that are always good.

Hi April!
I'm with MR. I am in grad school and after 5 years of watching every penny as well as trying to avoid wasting my time (which I have very little of!) I do not visit restaurants anymore. They are expensive to both my wallet and my health. I would much rather have someone over for a healthy, inexpensive meal or simply coffee or green tea than spend tons of money and time at a restaurant. Not to mention parking issues and the cost of gas. I used to eat out quite frequently and saw a subsequent increase in my weight and monthly bills. It wasn't worth it to me and I got tired of always being broke! I also tired of eating food that was not fresh, overly salted, greasy, fatty, and sometimes just plain gross.

Now, I eat at home and enjoy it immensely. I have found that in other countries such as in Europe, people do not eat out like we do in the States for many of the reasons I listed above. No one suggests that they are odd for showing some common sense.

Robin:

your point is taken. I myself understand the difficulty of finding good restaurants where they respect the integrity of natural flavors, BUT my point was that while April writes about the disproportional response of ppl questioning why MR doesn't eat out, I found the response of people in this comments section to be disproportional as well. Eating out doesn't have to be entirely bad.

Precisely recognising that us NY'ers are spoiled of options I mentioned in my post where I live. And yes I agree with you that those of us living in urban centres have much more options, but I travel a lot for work around the US and I can't say I've ever been in a town and not been able to find atleast one place to serve me a good meal. Sure it may not be the fanciest place, but I've had some great, healthy meals at mom and pop places. I still maintain it's about working to find those options. Some one mentioned above about developing a relationship with the chef/restauranteur, and I agree with that. Atleast once a week, I eat at my favorite sushi place where the waiter knows me and we always order nutritionally wonderful thing.

Eating out is not for everyone. Some of us enjoy it, and some of us prefer to prepare our meals ourselves. But let's respect both options. Choosing to eat meals at home doesn't entail that restaurant-bashing needs to take place.