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November 24, 2006
So What Did We Do For Thanksgiving?
Morton, a new commenter, poses a question:
Maybe you bother her because you seem to selfishly value the quantity of your own life over the quality of life shared with others through the ancient custom of feasting.
Thanksgiving is a time when people deliberately overfeed and, traditionally, do so in the company of others. It is among other things a celebration of the conviviality of life through the exaggeration of our common need to eat. When you back away from such a celebration through a miserly accounting of your consumed calories you appear to back away from the larger community, and the community responds by shunning you.
Or maybe I'm wrong. What did you do for Thanksgiving?
First, welcome! Thanks for commenting!
Funny you should ask about Thanksgiving, as yesterday was my *second* Thanksgiving of the year. In October, my partner's parents (both sets!) came to visit from Canada, and we made an elaborate Canadian Thanksgiving for six, complete with low calorie versions of all the traditional favorites. We had turkey breast (which is a very healthy food) cranberry relish with ginger, Jack Daniels sweet potatoes cut with pumpkin to lower the calories and add a nice pumpkiny flavor, cauliflower mashed "potatoes" (a very healthy and delicious alternative to mashed potatoes), turnips (a traditional Canadian Thanksgiving food), low cal stuffing (no bread!), vegetarian gravy, and to top it off, a pumpkin flan made with eggwhites and nonfat yogurt instead of eggs and cream, and stuffed with all the traditional pumpkin pie spices. I sat a beautiful table for six, and we all enjoyed the feast. My partner's mother has been working on losing weight, taking many of her recipes from my blog, so she was very pleased to eat a healthy meal that was both delicious and unlikely to contribute to weight gain. The next day, we took her shopping for new clothes, since she's lost 40 pounds and her old clothes don't fit! She, her husband and I all took great pleasure in finding gorgeous clothes that fit her new thin frame, and that night we enjoyed a delicious tilapia dinner together. We all had a great time. I find that my friends and family are happy to eat the food I serve them... in fact, just last Saturday, a good friend and I had a very enjoyable morning making megamuffins, a low cal, nutrient packed treat that my partner and a friend of his created. We made enough megamuffins for her to put six week's worth of breakfast in her freezer, and we enjoyed a mango shrimp lunch while they were in the oven. She's been eating megamuffin on her way to work every day since, and loves both the taste and the knowledge that she's starting off her day with 30% of every essential nutrient. The pleasures of feasting in community are not lost on us... we just enjoy them in ways that are consistent with our health goals.
Yesterday, we had American Thanksgiving with my father, step-mother, and step-brother. Knowing that I'd want to eat a big meal at lunch, I skipped breakfast (something I almost never do) and sampled all the dishes at the Thanksgiving table. I made some of them (my version of the Jack Daniels sweet potatoes, pumpkin flan, mashed cauliflower "potatoes") and my step-mother made others (including an amazing cranberry relish with pineapple, cilantro and jalepeno, which I'll post to the blog). She uses Splenda instead of sugar in her cooking, and has since long before I started CR, so that cut down on the calories in everything. My dad grilled a turkey on the grill (was that redundant? grilling on the grill?) and we all enjoyed the food and the beautiful North Carolina fall day. I drank one of my dad's excellent Bloody Marys, and then some amazing French wine that he opened for the occasion. I am a huge fan of French reds, and had one more glass that I really needed, as it was quite a spectacular wine. No one can accuse me of failing to appreciate good wine! My step-mother set a beautiful table with a neat little pumpkin fall centerpiece, and we somehow managed not to spill wine on the tablecloth, which is nothing short of a miracle. Every year, the tablecloth goes straight into the washing machine!
I didn't eat any dinner after the holiday lunchtime feast, as I wasn't hungry and didn't need any more calories for the day. It's unusual for me to skip meals, but when saving up for a holiday feast, it makes sense. In fact, I suspect that most folks out there who ate a big Thanksgiving at lunch time skipped dinner. Even though I ate much less than I would have in the old days, and most of the dishes were made in a CR-friendly way since my step-mother is a long time avoider of excess sugar, I still had enough in the meal for my entire day. I wasn't hungry for another bite!
Today it's back to eating three solid meals a day, and I'll soon be having an eggwhite omlette for breakfast. Then we'll be visiting my favorite gourmet store in the world, A Southern Season, where we'll eat lunch. Usually when I eat lunch out, I order a salad with some kind of lean protein, such as chicken, turkey or shrimp. Most menus have excellent variations on the Cobb salad, or their own special salads, and they're happy to omit certain ingredients or even substitute others. It's never a big deal.
So that was my Thanksgiving... or rather, my two Thanksgivings! I am very blessed to have four wonderful families with whom I get to share holidays: my mom, my dad and step-mom, my partner's mom and step-father, and my partner's father and step-mother. For Christmas, we'll be off to Canada to visit his folks, along with my mom whom they've graciously welcomed into the family! Holidays are a time of extreme joy for us... and no one seems unhappy that our "potatoes" are really cauliflower.
Posted by april at November 24, 2006 8:41 AM
Comments
Hi April,
I wrote to you several months ago about starting CRON immediately following my knee surgery. Things have been going well. I view trying to live a healthy and vibrant life, an aim worthy of putting a little effort into. I regularly read your blog as a source of inspiration.
I am confused and bothered by how you are being attacked lately by some readers. Why are they attacking you for promoting health when there's genocide going on in Africa and we have a president who lied and has occupied another country for profit? How is wanting a healthy life selfish? I would think that living in a manner that will make you one day a burden to society medically and financially is a little more selfish.
I am a teacher and I work with students learning English in New York City. I need to be healthy and full of energy in order to teach them as best as I can. I'm trying to figure out the best way to do that. I look at what you're doing as a tool to optimize my life.
I'm sorry about all of the angry, venomous people who want everyone to be fat, unhealthy, tired and waste their time writing letters attacking people who are interested in health and not to people who are actually detrimental to the world. They need to get a reality check.
Happy Holidays!
Candice
Posted by: Candice at November 24, 2006 7:23 AM
Where is the recipe for Sherm's megamuffins again? I used to have it, but lost it. (I don't know if you remember my name, I used to have CR blog a year or more ago and commented in yourr frequently.)
Also, do you have a recipe for this breadless stuffing you speak of?
Posted by: stretchoutandwait at November 24, 2006 9:05 AM
Hi April,
I read the Salon article and some of the nasty letters that went along with it. It's so annoying that people feel the need to be downright mean about something they clearly don't understand.
What I find most interesting is the way critics willfully ignore what CR folks have to say about how they feel from day to day. Personally, I've never felt less hungry in my life. I eat enormous quantities of food (my husband looks on in amazement at the size of the kale salad I eat every day)and generally feel very full. I don't feel deprived. And this is what I hear most CR practitioners saying. Yet critics continue to suggest that CR folks are a miserable lot who constantly deny themselves basic pleasures of eating and are just short of starvation. It just isn't true!
Of course, a year ago, if you'd shown me a menu representative of the way I eat now, I never would have believed I could be happy eating this way. I would have been horrified by all the "rabbit food" and distressed at the lack of beef and french fries. And yet here I am, eating extremely healthy foods every day and loving every second of it.
How did I get from there to here? It's not like I just woke up one morning and decided to completely change my diet. It all happened so gradually for me. I just started making little changes - some shiitake mushrooms here, a few ounces of broccoli there - and then, before I knew it, I was really on a calorie restricted diet. And in the process, I lost 35 pounds (and counting). Somewhere along the way, my whole perspective on food changed, and I know in my heart there's just no going back now. I can't stuff my face with M&M's knowing what a horrible thing that would be for my body.
For the first time in my life, I'm starting to love my body. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a good, healthy way. I feel real compassion for myself. And I refuse to accept that this is somehow selfish. Loving yourself is not the same as being selfish. In fact, I would argue that it's an essential part of *not* being selfish. How can I love anyone else if I don't love myself first?
To me, the real problem in our society is that people don't love themselves enough. If someone chooses to eat too much on Thanksgiving, that, in itself, isn't so bad. But a great many people in the U.S. eat way too much bad stuff every single day of the year. They assault their poor, broken bodies with cigarettes and saturated fats, sugar and cholesterol, and sedentary lifestyles that truly take all the joy out of living. To me, they are the ones who are miserable. I should know. I used to be one of them.
Yes, CR takes some money, some time and some energy to maintain. But why is that selfish? Is it any more selfish for me to spend hours playing the piano? I do it because I love it, because it makes me happy, and for no other reason. It benefits no one but me. Would anyone call me selfish for doing that? What about my friend who loves rock climbing? He spends all sorts of time and money on his hobby, and it certainly isn't helping starving children in Africa. But I don't think anyone would say he was any more selfish than anyone else.
You choose to spend some portion of your time carefully planning what you eat. My brother chooses to spend his free time watching American Idol on tv. Is his choice any less selfish than yours? Obviously not.
I'm rambling now, but I guess my point is that these attacks are just ridiculous and anyone who thinks calmly and rationally about it for a while will see that. I imagine with all the press CR has gotten lately, this isn't the last set of attacks you'll face. But just keep taking that moral high road. Don't let them get you down. There's nothing wrong with taking care of your body the best way you know how. Anyone who says otherwise is just full of sour grapes.
Posted by: Robin at November 24, 2006 10:08 AM
Hi April,
I agree with Candice. I am shocked at the level of anger, ignorance, and down right viciousness with which some people have responded to the CRON lifestyle and you as one of its most visible proponents, since the New York Times article was published.
I wish more people could wake up to the fact that the way they feel about themselves is 90% a result of the choices they make and only 10% what's going on around them. If they could realize this then they would find their life goals suddenly falling into place because it is a lot easier to change your own behavior then it is to change the world around you no matter how spiteful and mean your methods are.
It is really a shame that you are made the target when some people who are obviously frustrated with themselves need to vent. I admire you all the more for the patience and understanding you demonstrate when crafting your responses. Thank you once again for being such an inspiration.
Posted by: Christine Davidson at November 24, 2006 10:09 AM
hi april!
i wanted to say thanks for your comment on my vox. i had found your blog, but hadn't yet had a chance to read through - i've had a nice time reading your most recent posts.
i'm really excited about this whole CR thing. my husband and i both hope to start after a bit more research and we formulate a plan. the recipies you've posted will certainly be a help!
thanks again and happy holidays!
kinsey
Posted by: kinsey at November 24, 2006 1:47 PM
Among the many blessings for which I am grateful, I count my wonderful readers. Thank you all for your comments! And Candice, congratulations to you for taking care of yourself in the face of no doubt extreme stress in your work! Our hats are off to you, and all who teach for a living! I have been visiting with my step-mother who retired just a couple of years ago after teaching kindergarten in Tennessee and North Carolina public schools for over thirty years. I have tremendous respect for all teachers. You sacrifice so much, from the ability to make more money to your own health and sanity in the quest to shape the next generation. Come to our house in Philly and we'll make you a delicious CR dinner with excellent pinot noir, and you can put your feet up and relax and let some other people take care of you! Big hugs, and lots of encouragement from us!
Posted by: April at November 24, 2006 8:05 PM
I'm wondering where my comment flew. I had answered another commentator about his bipolar condition but now I see that neither his or my comments are on your blog... or am I looking in the wrong place?
enmuffin
Posted by: Peg Diamond at November 28, 2006 11:14 AM