April's CR Diary

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December 27, 2006

Good Time Girl

One of my favorite Bruce Hornsby songs is "Stranded on Easy Street" from the Night on the Town album (yes, I know they're CDs now, but I still think of them as albums.) As with most pop songs, I identified with the male narrator of the song and mentally gender-bended the lyrics to fit my circumstances. "Stranded on Easy Street" always reminded me of my first couple of years at Yale, when as a sweet Southern girl from a well-educated but certainly not well-off family, I suddenly found myself surrounded by children of tremendous wealth and priviledge. While much of the Yale student body is now financial aid kids like I was, the upperclass is still well-represented. I remember going out with boys who could afford to buy expensive dinners at the fanciest restaurants in town... attending my first toasting session at Mory's, the legendary private club that turns out to be the only union restaurant in New Haven... getting dressed up to debate national political figures in front of hundreds on the floor of the Yale Political Union. I was working in the dining hall at a union job to pay my bills and looking forward to ten years of student loan payments (that's in addition to the 2/3 of tuition that Yale just gave me in financial aid), but I was hanging out with a lot of kids who never had to wonder how they would pay for their books or if they could afford to go out for pizza. My experience as a union member in my dining hall job was what led me to become a student activist during the strike of 1996 and a union organizer upon graduation. But back in my first couple of years, I was just trying to fit in with the rich kids. I was also very excited that my cute southern accent and my ability to take on political figures on the floor of the YPU (Did I ever tell you about the time Randall Terry of Operation Rescue called me a harlot on national TV? That was a fun day!) won me the attention of some extremely attractive and intelligent boys whose backgrounds were far different from mine.

I didn't get stranded on easy street... I became a union organizer, and after eleven years and more career success than I ever could have hoped for, I'm still committed to making sure that everyone, regardless of family income, has a shot at the good life. But I still love the song, and as I was listening to it last week on my way to one of my 7 am meetings, it occurred to me that in contrast to the media reports about how CR folk are austere, ascetic, and miserable, I could much more accurately be described as a "good time girl," like the girl in the song. My best friend describes us as "work hard/play hard" people, and that's pretty accurate. I love my work and I log an incredible number of emotionally and physically draining hours at it, but when I'm not working, I am all about having a good time.

I find it both entertaining and frustrating that many people assume that CR folk must be miserable people who lack pleasure in life, or even get pleasure out of depriving themselves. It's just not the case, at least not for anyone I've ever met who practices CR. We have somewhat changed our definitions of pleasure, to be sure. For example, most of us enjoy vegetables a great deal, and many of us no longer care for high-sugar foods as much as we might have pre-CR. But we enjoy our food tremendously, and we spend much of our time reveling in the pleasures of good health, vibrant energy, and a lust for life that makes our pre-CR existence seems rather dull and boring.

My CR practice has given me a greater ability to choose my pleasures, and to enjoy them thorougly without the guilt that used to plague me when I was overweight and unhealthy. What I eat isn't about being "good" or "bad," it's about taking a well-considered action to achieve a much desired result. Most days, I eat a very low calorie, extremely nutrient dense set of meals that I enjoy very much. Some days, I go out and eat foods that I no longer include as part of my regular meals. For instance, last night we had our office holiday party at a great restaurant in Philly. I had a goat cheese and beet salad, baked tilapia over veggies as an entree, and peanut butter ice cream for dessert. I also had generous bites of my friend's mashed potatoes and crab cake. We drank excellent red wine, everyone had a good time, and since I had been saving calories by eating less all day (and quite a bit less last week in preparation for the holiday run of celebrations) I wasn't worried about long term damage to my CR. I can eat a high calorie meal out without worrying that I'll relapse into my pre-CR eating habits because I've learned the tools for staying healthy and happy with low calories and extremely nutritious foods. I'm not anxious about food anymore. It frees up a lot of time to do other things.

In thinking about taking my CR to the next level, from moderate to more serious, I take my good time girl nature into consideration. I doubt that there will ever come a time when I will want to give up eating in really good restaurants. I have friends who just love to go out and consume great food and wine, and I like to go with them. In fact, I often lead the charge. So it becomes a matter of limiting the frequency with which I go out, and making sure that every other day is low calorie and RDA perfect.

My CR has always involved averages -- more calories once or twice a week, very low calories on the other days. But as I go lower, I always find that consistency is important. So here's my plan: I'm going to start by setting my quotidian calorie level at 1200 - 1250, with non-quotidian days cut back to only once or at most twice a month. If I go out for a big dinner, I tend to lower calories in advance and skip breakfast the next day, which evens out the calories a bit. But I've been eating a lower calorie quotidian diet, then going out more like twice a week, pushing my average up above 1300. Just one or two restaurant meals can really do you in, even if you think you're eating healthy. To go lower, I'm actually going higher on regular days to make sure that I don't get too hungry, lose weight too fast, or miss out on essential nutrients. But by cutting back on those meals out, I can save calories without throwing my body into distracting hunger.

I really enjoy my meals out at very nice restaurants, but so many of my meals out over the last year or so have been work lunches where I didn't really love the food and ate more of it than I needed. Or worse yet, nibbling at the leftovers from a meeting with nurses. That's not eating intentionally in harmony with my long and short term goals -- that's more like the mindless eating that makes you a victim of the obesogenic environment. I'd much rather eat a consistent, healthy diet 29 days a month and eat out only once or twice, assuming that my meal out is an excellent one, filled with good food, wine and the pleasure of my good friends' company.

What about when work lunches happen that I have to attend? Well, there are a few possibilities:

1. Steer the gathering to the Ruby Tuesday's, where I can get a dish off the calorie controlled menu, or a great salad.

2. Eat my megamuffin beforehand and just eat a green salad or something virtually no calorie.

3. If my friend Jon the lawyer is taking us out somewhere good, make that my designated meal out. If it's lunch, I can skip dinner afterwards (which I usually do anyway if I'm stuffed -- I don't eat when I'm not hungry.) Then I can make it a two-fancy-meal-out month.

That seems fairly straightforward, and is actually the way I was living last fall when I was very on-target with my CR. A series of destabilizing and stressful events knocked me off course a bit, but I've been back on in the last few months, and I'm ready to go to the next level.

Anyone who has ever been to one of my dinner parties can vouch for the fact that I am a good time girl. Food abounds (low calorie, nutritious food, but a lot of it!) the wine is always excellent (assuming that you like Frenchy reds) and everyone has a lot of fun. I've lived outside of the south for my entire adult life, but I still think of myself as a Southern hostess. CR, for me, is about maximizing my total pleasure in life, not just today but for many years to come.
If it's not fun, I won't be doing it. But I've found that I enjoy my life more, in total, when I'm eating the foods that nourish my body in amounts that are a lot less than what is normal in our overweight country. It's not fun to be aging any faster than you absolutely have to. Whenever I've dipped my toe into the hardcore pool, I've felt better than I do even as a happy-go-lucky moderate. I can only assume that more good times lie ahead.

Well she said she was
A good time girl
Laughing laughing a bit too loud...

Posted by april at December 27, 2006 12:10 PM

Comments

Posted by: Jen at December 20, 2006 12:23 PM

Posted by: F at December 20, 2006 12:46 PM

Posted by: April at December 20, 2006 1:21 PM

Posted by: M at December 20, 2006 11:11 PM

Posted by: Judith at December 21, 2006 9:48 AM

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