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December 16, 2006
Healthy Kids
I'm at my dad's for our traditional "Christmas before Christmas" weekend. Because my step-brother and I have always spent Christmas with our other parent, we have always done our Christmas the weekend before. MR is at home having a boy's weekend (which for him means uninterrupted quiet time to sit at his computer and read medical studies and write. But as he mentioned in response to Gregg's comment requesting a CR Boys' Weekend -- come to the CRS Conference! It's bascially an all-male CR weekend. Now there are a few more women than before, but I was the only single woman over 21 at my first CRS Conf!) So I'm here in beautiful western North Carolina with my dad and step-mother and my step-brother and his wife, plus their two little snugglebunnies, Madeline (age 2.5) and Jack (age 5 months.) Jessica, my sister-in-law, stays home with them and also takes care of two other kids who are almost exactly their age, her best friend's children.
Jessica is serious about feeding her kids right and bringing them up with healthy food habits. This morning while Madeline played with my new Hello Kitty stuffed animal we discussed the perils of raising kids in this obesogenic environment.
"At Wal-mart," Jessica told me, "They have play food, but it's all McDonald's food! And they even have play drive-thrus where you can 'drive thru' and get your plastic food!"
I remarked that the plastic food closely resembles the stuff you'd get at the drive thru anyway.
She pointed out that Wendy's has some non-fried options for kids' meals. A turkey and cheese sandwich and a fruit cup, for example. And McDonald's now lets you substitute apple dippers for fries in the kids' meal. But the majority of kids are still eating the fried junk, I'm sure.
Jessica and John are trying to raise their kids differently. They are fortunate that they can afford for Jessica to stay home, so they don't have to face the perils of daycare food. She's growing veggies in the garden, and Madeline is already eating blueberries and raspberries in large amounts as she sits on the kitchen counter watching us cook. They don't let the kids watch much television, and they try to limit TV to shows that don't have commercials.
For Christmas, (in addition to the fancy velvet dress that MR's Mom sent for her, which she LOVED!) I gave her a set of plush vegetables with happy faces. I think they're the Veggie Tales series. We have happy corn, celery, broccoli, mushroom, tomato, and a potato in a straw hat. They are so cute! Jessica was happy to see vegetables among Madeline's gifts. Hopefully they'll be just one more subtle message that veggies are cool!
I've been reading the most amazing book, whose name I won't even mention before I am done and sit down to write an entry about it. It talks a lot about childhood obesity, the role of the schools, marketing to children, and how darned hard it is to be a parent in this environment. Jessica and John have a lot of advantages: they're well-educated, can afford for her to stay home, live in a place where there's room for a garden and access to excellent grocery stores, and they both have fairly healthy habits themselves. But even they will be fighting an uphill battle against the forces that will attack these kids as they get older.
I so admire parents. My mother, of course, was the best mother on earth, so it would be impossible for anyone else (past, present or future) to equal her. But I know lots of great moms and dads and grandparents and guardians of all sorts who are doing their best to raise healthy, happy, non-axe murderer kids. And it's so hard! Kids have become little consumers, and so few people and institutions are standing up to the industries that market to them. Will the health of an entire generation be sacrificed at the altar of capitalism?
Gina writes about wanting to get involved to do something about it. Me too!!! My city, the beautiful Philadelphia, is about to begin the process of banning transfats just like NYC did. I know it'll be a fight. I plan to get very, very involved.
Thank heaven, there are people fighting the good fight... more on that soon. (You know how I love to let the suspense build up. Don't worry, I'm not quitting my job or leaving MR.) And there are ways we ordinary folks can get involved.
In the meantime, I hope you're all enjoying the holiday season, not too stressed out, and not too stuffed from holiday parties. Congrats to Kelly on your progress! Hold the sweets, bring on the diamonds... I love it! Be sure that the little one is getting plenty of fat in her diet... growing brains desperately need fat for development. In small, measured amounts, olive oil, flax oil, and nuts like hazelnuts and almonds are great, essential foods. A lot of health conscious parents don't realize that kids need quite a bit of fat for brain and other development, so I try to remind folks of this a lot. You need healthy fat too, so don't leave it out in an attempt to cut calories! Remember, no one should CR until they're at least 21, so replace unhealthy foods with healthy ones, but make sure all little people get plenty to eat. Also, it's my understanding (though I'm certainly no expert) that it's quite normal for kid's weights to fluctuate a lot as they're going through different growing stages. I know mine did. I was sometimes light, sometimes a little chunkier. Never super-skinny like some kids (MR and his brother, for example!) but at times heavier than others. It wasn't till I got to college and discovered every french fry serving establishment in New Haven that I really started to gain weight. It's a minefield for parents to navigate instilling healthy eating habits without making kids feel bad about their weight, and especially with girls, it's so hard to strike a balance. I am glad I have only cats... I don't think I could handle the stress! Lots of love to all you parents out there who are struggling with these issues every day.
I ate a lot at the Christmas feast last night... my flight was crazy delayed so I barely had lunch (a few bites of a turkey wrap that I grabbed while waiting for an update on the Philly fog situation) and by the time we finally ate, I was starving. Predictably, I'm not hungry at all today, so I probably won't eat till later on in the day. I rarely skip meals (my normal day is breakfast, lunch and dinner... weird, I know :) but I also refuse to feed myself if I'm not genuinely hungry, and today I feel like a snake digesting a large mouse.
At least I'm done with my Christmas shopping.
Posted by april at December 16, 2006 7:38 AM
Comments
A few thoughts:
It's so hard to know how to raise happy, healthy kids in a culture that is so toxic for children, especially girls. As a parent, you worry that if you don't exert some control, your child will end up obese and sick. You worry if you push too much, she'll end up with anorexia. I feel especially worried about the latter possibility because I could imagine my daughters seeing how controlled my own diet is and misunderstanding that.
Whenever my 3-year-old daughter sees me measuring my food and asks me why I do it, I always say (truthfully) that I'm doing it to make sure I get enough nutrition to keep my body healthy. I never talk about calories nor do I use the words "fat," "diet" or "overweight." And I make a point of never discussing my weight loss with her. I *do* use words like "health" and "nutrition" all the time because in the end, I don't want her to worry about being chubby or thin; rather, I want her to concern herself with being healthy.
Others may disagree with me on this, but I also think it's ultimately counterproductive to be too strict about food with kids. I try not to buy a lot of junk food but I *do* occasionally let my daughter have a cookie. My sense is that if there are too many forbidden foods in her life, she'll eventually rebel and turn into a junk food junkie when she grows up. I'd be curious to hear what others think about this.
Instead of imposing a lot of rules and restrictions, I just focus on modeling healthy eating habits and making sure that healthy options are always available. My daughter watches me eat a gigantic kale salad every day. She loves helping me prepare it and sometimes a little greenery actually makes its way into her mouth. I never pressure her to eat anything in particular, nor do I pressure her to *not* eat something. I just keep eating a healthy diet and offering her healthy foods in the hope that she'll learn by my example.
April, I'd like to emphasize a point you made in your post. You mentioned that Jessica restricts what her kids watch on tv. I think this is incredibly important. Television is filled with ads for foods and beverages that are not fit for human consumption. I think getting rid of my TV was probably one of the most important things I did as part of my weight-loss plan. When I didn't have ads constantly urging me to eat, I found that I just didn't think about eating as often as I used to. Because my girls never watch TV, they don't even recognize these cartoon characters that are used to market gak. They never ask for unhealthy snacks or sugary cereals. Not watching TV also frees up time for them to get out and be active. I've never once regretted banishing TV from our lives.
Kelly, I find it stunning that your husband would presume to order foods for you that you don't want to eat. It is *so* hard to make these big changes in your life when your partner isn't supportive. Why do you think he objects to the way you're trying to eat? What reason does he give for changing your order? Do you think it would help if you sat down with him one-on-one (not during a meal) and really talked about it?
From the beginning, my husband has been supportive of my choices because he knows how hard I've worked to learn about nutrition. I've shown him in black and white that even though I'm consuming fewer calories, I'm still getting over 100% of my daily requirements for all essential nutrients every single day, which is more than he can say about his own diet.
Maybe your husband is concerned you aren't getting enough nutrition. If so, it might be helpful to crunch the numbers for him - you can use free nutritional software to do that - so he can see you aren't "starving" yourself. Just a thought.
Posted by: Robin at December 16, 2006 1:29 PM
I worry constantly over my son's food. People always try to give him horrid things, and I just want him to grow up eating his fruits and veggies and stuff like that. Which he loves. Also I hate it that so many companies add sugar and High Fructose Corn Syrup to baby and kid food. It's ridiculous.
Posted by: Jake Silver at December 16, 2006 2:24 PM
As you well know, I don't like kids and I am against having kids since it's not gonna make the world a better place, it's just gonna distract parents for about 20 years from the problems of the world, as they focus on their brats. But since nobody else seems to think like I do and since they keep popping them up no matter what, at least they could make them eat healthy food so those rugrats don't grow up to be idiots like the most of the current human population.
Posted by: istanbulwitchy at December 17, 2006 5:44 PM
DAMN, am I tired of the "soccer-mommy" generation attempting to ban adults from enjoying what they like, whether it's fatty foods or cigarettes or porn, FOR DA CHEEEELDRUNNNNNN.
Die in a fire, and do it soon, before you get "very very involved" in helping Philly pass the same Health Nazi laws that NYC did.
Posted by: Soccer Mommies Suck at December 17, 2006 6:39 PM
Yet another negative nut-bar joins the fray. Non carborundum illegitimus, dear girl. Onward! JD :-)
Posted by: Judith at December 18, 2006 7:31 PM