April's CR Diary

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April 29, 2007

De Grey Meets Dyson

I just interrupted an important scientific meeting to run the vacuum.

Dr. de Grey confirms that he has no idea what a dustbunny is. I tried to describe one, saying, "If you were to look under a couch," and Aubrey said, "I've never looked under a couch."

Exactly. He's just the kind of person you'd want for a guest, someone who has no earthly idea if the house is clean or not, and who would never think to inspect it.

He was duly thankful for the media-readiness blitz that preceeded his arrival.

The media folks showed up at 10, and I chatted with the producer Wendy, who was quite nice, about CR. She may want to do the CR show with us at some point, and she duly noted the camera-friendly features of the kitchen. I cooked lunch for Aubrey and MR while the camera folks were setting up, then I fed Kieffer so that he'd stop howling and tried to eat my lunch (usual weekend lunch of kale, arugula, napa cabbage, tomato and green pepper salad topped with 1 cup nonfat plain organic yougrt and 1 teaspoon flax oil, plus a bit of hot sauce, four ounce glass of red wine on the side) but the clinking of the forks was too much noise as they were interviewing Aubrey in my living room, so I took my plate outside and had my first lunch al fresco sitting on a cinder block in our back yard. Then I walked to work, where I'll be for the rest of the day.

Hanging out with Aubrey makes me wish I had more time to devote to Methuselah Foundation volunteering. Hopefully as my staff gets more experienced I'll be somewhat less crazy at work... but then again, we may just get busier.

Posted by april at 7:21 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 28, 2007

Whoa! That's Pink!

That's what MR said tonight when he took the lid off his dinner.

Yeah, it was really pink. People have strange reactions to eating pink foods. I remember my senior year in college when, all excited about having an apartment and a copy of The New Basics cookbook, I decided to make beef stroganoff. I invited my boyfriend over and made what I thought would be a delicious dish with fresh tomatoes, sour cream (way pre-CR), ground beef, and various spices over pasta.

When Andrew, my then-boyfriend showed up, and I served the main dish (after a wonderful appetizer of Granny Smith slices topped with chevre), he said, "That looks like dog barf."

It was pink. As it turns out, you're really supposed to make it with tomato sauce, not fresh tomatoes. Ooops. I thought fresh was better! People, it seems, have a visceral reaction to pink foods.

Personally, I love pink. (Sorry Artifex!) I love straight men in pink shirts under black pinstriped suits. I love pink curtains, pink bedspreads, pink pens, and pink foods.

So I made MR some pink foods tonight. I had a can of no salt added sliced beets that I hadn't had the occasion to use, so I thought it was time. I put together the beets, plus grape tomatoes, Quorn tenders, balsamic vinegar, and cauliflower, and a little eggwhite for protein. Flax oil on top, hazelnuts for more fat. He loved it. It was very, very, very PINK!

Posted by april at 7:08 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

Unusual Means To An Unusual End

Thanks to all for your comments... they've been very nice and supportive. I'm glad folks are enjoying the blog and finding helpful information, or at least entertaining stories.

I do feel like I have to make a clarification though. Several people have mentioned that I should distance myself from "nutcases" who think we're going to live forever. Before I take too much credit for being normal, I feel that I should ask a few questions about the perspectives of these comments, and clarify my own view. Also, may I ask that before readers post objections about how living much longer would be either not possible or not desirable, could you please read Aubrey de Grey's refutation of the common objections here. You have to scroll down the page to get to some of the frequently raised objections such as overpopulation, such technologies would only be available to the rich, etc.

First, no one I know thinks that true immortality is a possibility. There will always be accidents, especially as long as there is the New Jersey Turnpike. With as much as I have had to drive for work, I fear that I am already statistically dead. (Quick: Can everyone say a prayer for NJ Governor Jon Corzine, recovering in my own dear Cooper Hospital, where I helped the nurses organize back in 1999? He was in a horrible car accident on April 12, and he's not been doing so well. Say what you will about governors of New Jersey, and he's not nearly as cute as the last one, no one deserves to have their life cut short by a traffic accident.) So no one I hang out with believes in immortality.

However, there are some very reasonable people who believe that it is possible that technology will advance enough to defeat many of the mechanisms that cause aging. If we could repair the damage of aging, then we could dramatically extend life and health. I believe that would be a very good thing. Aubrey de Grey is one of the most articulate proponents of this view, and he's answered many of the common objections here. Ray Kurzweil also has some interesting things to say about radical life-extending technology.

Before I got involved in the CR Society, I wasn't aware that these perspectives existed. I was hopeful that CR could help me look forty at fifty-five, or at least help me not feel like total crap at 29, but I didn't even think about radical life-extending biomedicine. I'm a union organizer, not a biologist or an engineer, and I read pop nutrition books for fun, not popular science. It was through getting to know people like MR that I found out about possibilities that I was not aware of before.

To be perfectly clear, no one thinks that CR will extend life all that long... the most ambitious of predictions are 110 or 120, and most of us think those are wildly optimistic. We do know that CR reduces risk of disease, especially the big killers such as heart disease, cancer and diabetes. That's all well and good, but there are quite a few who hope that by pursuing vigorous CR, we might live and be in good health at a time when more advanced medical technologies are available to extend healthy life further.

For those who dismiss this as childish fantasy, I ask on what basis they make that determination. Is it "common sense," or is it a reasoned belief based on research and evidence? Of course, no one knows what the future will bring. But I can attest that I was quite unaware of the real progress that has been made in recent years, and when I found out more, my perspective changed. Here is an entry I wrote about how my thinking evolved.

Very reasonable people can disagree about the prospects of such biomedicine, but I've spoken with David Sinclair and others who think that significant progress is on the horizon. Not being a scientist, I am not always in the best position to evaluate all the evidence, but working closely with the Mprize has given me access to information that I find very encouraging.

Still, I find that my own CR practice is heavily influenced by my real job and my social life... I don't yet pursue the most severe CR I could manage because I have competing priorities. But if I were quite convinced that real, radical life-extending biomedicine was likely to be available within fifty years or so, and I wanted to be able to take advantage of it, and I valued that prospect more than I value a second glass of Malbec or a dinner out in Center City Philly, I might take my CR much more seriously. And that would mean more attention to detail, more discipline, and if my experience in the past is any indicator, more consistency.

One thing I have found is that when you take calories very low, eating a very consistent amount meal to meal, day to day, makes a tremendous difference in quality of life. It's how MR avoids hunger at a pretty severe level of CR, and it works. He values living longer more than he values knocking back a second glass of wine or sharing a pistachio creme brulee, so he keeps his calories very consistent, and doesn't eat unmeasured meals. He's the only CR person aside from maybe Dean who I know who does that. So he's definitely the exception, not the rule. But I have complete respect for his CR practice, and as someone who lives with him every day and watches how he functions, I can vouch for the fact that it enhances, rather than detracting from, his quality of life. His moods are much more even than mine, he isn't particularly hungry, he is satisfied with his meals, and he has incredible energy and strength. He's one of the happiest people I know, and he's definitely the healthiest. His lifestyle would not appeal to all, but for him, it works out great. I mean, he gets to sleep with me every night, and you can't beat that! :) But seriously, his choices work for him, and he's quite capable of dealing with flak from people who think he's weird... he's much more immune to that sort of thing than I am.

So it would be hard for me to distance myself from serious CR practitioners or those who are optimistic about the prospects of life-extending biomedicine, since I live with one of those people. Nor would I want to distance myself. My research has led me to think that while nothing is certain, optimism is not irrational. And for those who have the discipline to pursue severe CR in the hopes of reaching a point where more technology is available, I say, "You go girl!" Or boy, since they're mostly boys.

In fact, one of my goals (which competes with several of my other goals, like winning a bet that would result in a free dinner at the best restaurant in Philly) is to become more strict in my CR so that I can slow my biological aging process further. I don't like being a moderate, it just happens to be the compromise I make with the other aspects of my extremely full life. Radically extended health and life is an unusual goal, and severe CR is an unusual lifestyle. But if you see the one as means to the other, it makes sense. You may not share the belief that such life-extension is possible or desirable (though people often have deathbed conversions, as it were) and even if you do, you may not think CR is a viable way to making it to that point. Aubrey de Grey, for instance, doesn't think CR will result in more than a couple of years of lifespan gain. Reasonable people can and do disagree. But for those who do believe in a and b, a more strict CR lifestyle is a perfectly reasonable choice.

One of my other goals is having a house that is always media-ready. This is not easy, considering that I work ALL THE TIME and have two cats and a man who cooks and I cook daily. I barely have time to do laundry, which is why it's great that I can now wear underwear that I've had since high school. Another benefit of CR: wearing the same clothes year after year! I have about two months worth of underwear because I've saved all the old stuff, carefully line drying it year after year, and I've also been in so many situations where I just bought more underwear when I was on the road organizing because I didn't have time to find a place to wash clothes. It's fairly common among organizers to have a ridiculous amount of underwear, actually. But I digress.

I have come to believe that my house must be media-ready at all times because even when I've sworn off media appearances (due to extreme, severe busy-ness at work, I've adopted a "Just Say No" policy to the media, unless it's a really gorgeous intelligent funny sexy journalist asking, which I'd have to admit is my weakness: I will do most anything for a skinny guy who acts interested in CR.) However, at just the point when I've sworn off media appearances until further notice (ie until I win both these campaigns, and their contracts, which will be sometime in fall) I find out that MR's boss and my dear friend, Aubrey de Grey, has invited a media crew over on Sunday to do an interview with him. We had planned to do this a month or so ago (when I got two days notice and FREAKED OUT which was not fun for anyone, especially MR) but we got snowed out due to that blizzard that hit the northeast. So it's rescheduled for this Sunday. MR and I tried to find someone to pay to clean the house, but none of the housekeeping services we phoned even returned our calls. So guess what I get to do in the extremely short period of time I get to do anything but work? You guessed it: clean the house. MR is helping out a ton: he did the weekly grocery shop (usually my job) and he's done the scrubbing of the stove and counters. But there's quite a bit he can't do since he's actually allergic to cats, so yours truly will be doing the vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing of the kitchen floor, etc. It's not in terrible shape -- I clean the bathroom on a kinda daily basis to keep up, a la Flylady. But with two fluffy cats and the cooking we do, it takes a lot of work to keep up, and I haven't had any time whatsoever to put into house cleaning as of late.

Hence my resolution: figure out a way to do enough every day that the house is always media-ready, so I don't have to panic when these media appearances get sprung on me at the last minute. I am a member of the Mprize Three Hundred, but lately I haven't had the time to do much volunteering, so I feel like pitching in with these appearances is part of my duty to the cause. But still, it's stressful, and at a time like this, it's incredibly stressful. My co-workers, who are used to organizing such things, offered to do a petition, quote flyer, rally, informational picket, or march on Aubrey to protest, but I assured them that a) Aubrey is so clueless about things like housekeeping... he is very busy trying to reverse the aging process and wouldn't know a dustbunny if it bit him... that he has no idea this would stress me out b) I can do it, MR is helping, and I'll use it as an excuse to drink a beer with Aubrey after the camera crews are gone. My lawyer best friend even pointed to the amendment in the Constitution about quartering soldiers and suggested that I may have a cause of action, but I decided not to pursue it.

They wanted to do the whole CR dinner party show, but I said no way, not now, maybe later. Even if I just re-run the Sanjay Gupta CNN tilapia dinner, it's still a major production to have cameras film me in the kitchen, and I need to be actually at work almost the entire day. I am done with doing that show until I am DONE with these two campaigns!

Posted by april at 4:04 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 26, 2007

Reckless and Irresponsible

One of my commenters suggested that I post something I wrote in response to a comment as a real entry, re: Kate Taylor's reckless, irresponsible and exploitative article.

Frankly, I doubt Miss Taylor's sincerity. If she had a sincere interest in the topic of CR, she would have quoted some of the many CR society posts in which people said, "Al Pater, eat more! Al is not doing CR, he's anorexic!" There have even been many calls to shun Al from the CR Society, as he is clearly not practicing CR. This is all quite easy to find in the CR Society archives, yet Miss Taylor has very carefully picked out the information she wants. Al is a very sad person with a tragic life story. She has exploited his pain for her own personal gain.

This from Mary Robinson's blog, quite awhile back, re: Al:

And, as you would expect for any group with 2000 members, there are people who have other complex personal issues. People like to point to Al Pater as a negative example. Anyone who knows Al's life story knows that CR is not responsible for his self-destructive behaviors. Many times people on the list have tried to help him and to intervene. To consider Al an example of CR is silly. He is a special case. Al does not pretend to be a spokesperson or example. Nor does anyone else think of him that way. It's cruel and unfair to single him out. I wish Al all the best and hope for him that his health improves.

To use Al Pater as an example of a person practicing CR is like using a priest who abuses children as an example of Catholic theology. Except that in Al's case, he has done nothing morally wrong, he is a person with an illness, and he doesn't deserve this negative media attention. He is a person who is suffering from profound illness in the wake of profound loss. You'd think that Miss Taylor, with all of her supposed sympathy for anorexics, would be a little less quick to exploit his story. I hate to think of what he must be feeling now, having put his trust in someone who treated him this way. I know how hurt I was when Julian Dibbell slammed my cooking in a national magazine... but at least he explained some of the science behind CR! Do these writers ever think of the damage they are inflicting on others? They must not believe in karma, because they sure are racking up a lot of bad. I mean, look at what happened to Rebecca Traister after she wrote an article slamming CR! She may have ruined my Thanksgiving holiday... largely spent reading nasty to threatening comments on my blog... but her next few months went much, much worse! I had to spend quite a bit of time in meditation sending her positive energy after I read that one, I felt so sorry for her. Hope she's doing better now.

In the end, we must all take responsibility for our decisions. One thing about CR people that is unusual is that we take a large amount of responsibility for our own health. We don't blame the environment, our work, our families, or our genetics for our health. We take advantage of the information available to us and make our decisions accordingly, in line with our own priorities. That's quite unusual, and a lot of people don't like it. But just like saving for retirement or buying a house with a 20 year mortgage instead of a 30 year one, it's a responsible decision that requires some planning ahead.

If you don't find CR appealing, then by all means, don't practice it! That's your choice, and you're responsible for your own health decisions. We don't want to change you... but for those who are interested in slowing their aging process, some of us want to provide information on how to do that, and support for what is (thanks to people like Miss Taylor) a hard journey. Most folks on CR will tell you that hunger is not a problem -- reactions of others are much more difficult to deal with. I am blessed that my circle of close friends and colleagues are totally comfortable with my CR practice, but I admit that I hang out with almost freakishly mature and successful people. Others have huge struggles, and I try to support them so they can make the decisions that they believe are right for their own health.

To each their own.

Posted by april at 8:54 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

How Low Is Too Low?

Cyn raises a question that often comes up:

Hi April! I have a question in regards to calories--how do you know how "low" is safe? I've been reading up on CRON and I am unclear on the dangers of starvation mode. Does CRON avoid that by making sure all nutrients are obtained, or is starvation mode not a danger since of the research showing slowed cell aging as a result of a calorie restricted diet? Is it safe to assume that as long as you are not hungry, you have enough calories? Most studies like that to cite the not under 1,200 calories if you are a woman, but I can't find the study, and the context of where that study came from. Any input you could give me would be appreciated, or perhaps you could point me as to where to read? Thanks!

Here are some guidelines:

When you in the weight loss phase, you shouldn't lose more than 1 pound a month if you're starting lean, no more than 2 pounds a week if you're starting overweight.

I don't think hunger is the best judge, because many people, especially those who are overweight, will tell you that they are not hungry when in weight loss, but they are eating so few calories that they are losing weight too fast. When the CR'd animals lose weight too fast, they lose the health-extending benefits of CR, so we want to make sure to make an extremely gradual transition. When people first discover the filling deliciousness of low calorie, high nutrient veggies, they sometimes eat too few calories yet still feel full. At this point I urge them to add more calorie dense foods, like nuts and some olive oil, to their diets to slow weight loss.

As to where you end up (because obviously, you don't lose weight forever -- you find a point where you're comfortable and then you stay there): there are many different answers, and I think it's a very individual decision. First, you must absolutely must work with your doctor to monitor your blood work and your general health to make sure that all your health indicators are improving. You also must make sure that you're getting adequate nutrition, which means you have to use some nutritional software (free online!) to crunch your diet. This won't work if you don't get the nutrition you need, and people who think they're eating a healthy diet are usually low in some essential vitamins and minerals. Calcium is often a concern for women. It takes some work to get the vitamins and minerals you need, and most folks who eat ad lib are somewhat malnourished, so when you talk about decreasing your calories, you have to work even harder to get appropriate nutrition. That's why we weigh and measure stuff... so we actually know what we're eating. You don't know how much calcium you've had if you have only a vague idea how much yogurt you ate. You don't know how much vitamin A you had if you had a random amount of kale. If you've got a diet worked out where between breakfast and lunch and your megamuffin snack you get all the RDAs, then on a day when you have dinner out you can worry a lot less, since you know you've already got all your nutrients in the bag.

In many of the animal experiments, the animals were far more CR'd than a human would likely tolerate. I know that I hit the limit of my social and work life far before I really find hunger to be an issue. Between going out for work and social events and still getting the nutrients I need in my quotidian diet, I have never gotten much below 1300 calories a day, and these days with exercise I'm more in the neighborhood of 1500. On days when I take Pilates I eat an extra 300 calories, on days when I don't I hit 1300 ish pretty consistently, though lately with all my travel and going out, I've been going lower on quotidian days so that I can ease up a bit when I'm on the road with my good food eating fine wine swilling buddies. It's a tragedy to turn down a second glass of a really good Malbec, so I make compromises.

MR keeps his calories very consistent because that's what makes him feel the best. If he gets below 115 pounds, he raises his calories a bit. His exercise is also very consistent: he runs five days a week, resistance trains three days a week, and carries me around as requested. Since he can easily lift and carry a girl who weighs only ten to fifteen pounds less than he does, I don't worry too much about his physical strength. Back when he was 145 eating ad lib, he planted trees all over Canada and was incredibly strong. He's just a lean person, naturally. My college boyfriend was 5' 8" and 118 pounds... eating all the grilled toasted buttered fried blueberry muffins at the Yankee Doodle Diner he could. Along with a three egg sausage home fries breakfast. And that dude was skinny. I like skinny guys, what can I say?

MR chooses 115 as a somewhat arbitrary marker, but it does seem to be the weight at which he's very comfortable, maintains physical strength, and yet keeps his calories as low as he can while maintaining the things in life that are important to him. He doesn't feel much hunger, though right before meals he's definitely ready to eat. When he finishes a meal, he's satisfied.

A lot of women keep their calories above the point where they would have amenorrhea. Of course for the post-menopausal that's not an option. I haven't hit amenorrhea, so that's not a marker for me.

If one is carefully monitoring one's health (we do our blood tests every six months or so) and getting adequate nutrition, then it's all about what you consider quality of life. I have a CR'd friend who has to eat enough to spend about three hours a day surfing. For me, surfing is not a concern, but for him, life would not be worth living without the sport.

Some people find that they take their calories quite low, then increase them. This could be based on any number of factors, from social situations changing to wanting to take part in more exercise or sport. I increased my calories when I started exercising more seriously, because I feel that the health benefits and psychological stress reduction benefits of my exercise routine are worth the extra calories. Yet I'm not an athelete by any means: I take Pilates twice a week, do some weight lifting, and do 20 - 40 minutes treadmill at between 4 - 5 mph. Nothing crazy, but enough to burn some calories and make some muscle. I just love the way I feel when I'm exercising regularly and well, especially in combination with consistent low calories and high nutrition.

So to sum up: if your bloodtests and your vital signs are all excellent, and your nutrition is optimal (as monitored on software, not based on your estimation of what is "healthy") and you're getting enough exercise to maintain cardio health and bone health, then how low you take your calories is based on a set of factors that only you can determine. What are your priorities?

CR folks take an unusual amount of responsibility for our own health. We decide what our priorities are, then live accordingly. MR and I have different priorities a lot of the time. I value going out with friends to restaurants... that's something he never really did in the first place. I value a full glass of cabernet... he's rather eat more broccoli. I value petting kitty cats... he'd rather not have pets, but loves me so puts up with the felines. I love the sleek look and feel I get from doing Pilates, so I'm willing to drive to the gym and put in an hour for class twice a week... he prefers his exercise to be harder but more efficient. Life extension is more of a priority for him than it is for me, but as time goes on I get more and more serious, which means some careful negotiations with the rest of my extremely full and demanding life.

Because we are not rodents in a cage, we can't control every aspect of our lives. We have many choices, and we have to take responsibility for the choices we make. I encourage all to do their own research and decide what works for them, always in consultation with their doctor. If you'd like some articles that you can provide to your doctor about CR, I can send them to you. There is no magic number of calories, and there is no one size fits all.

As I've said many times, you eats your veggies, you takes your chances. I believe in living life to the fullest every day, for as many days as I possibly can.

I also believe it's time for a staff meeting.

Posted by april at 8:35 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

April 25, 2007

Re-Post of Entry Re: Why I Do Media Appearances

Here's the link.

Posted by april at 1:15 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Eating Order

Our dear friends Aaron and Christine, creator and first lady of CRON-o-Meter, refer to CR as "eating order." What strikes me as disordered are people who use food as everything other than fuel for your body. From the anorexic to the obese, food means something other than nutrition and energy for most people. Sure, food can be fun, a great way to share in community, a way to celebrate, etc. But why use those as excuses to poison yourself? I do all of the above, with healthier food or smaller portions of the occasional "treat." And sure enough, I'm healthier than I was before... happier too.

What never seems to occur to the people who can't help but project their own problems onto us is that if the science behind CR is correct (and reasonable people can disagree about that) and maintaining youth and health is a priority (which some claim it is not, though I see no lack of people buying "anti-aging" skin creams or complaining about how horrible it is to feel old) then it makes sense to pursue CR. We don't want to recruit people to this lifestyle... if people are interested, they can do the research, use the resources, and decide for themselves. We vehemently try to discourage those who aren't actually practicing CR but are eating unhealthy diets that are too low in calories from refering to their practice as CR, as it's a) dangerous for them b) makes life more difficult for the rest of us. But there's a limit to how much one can control: no matter how many times you tell someone to increase their calories, or use nutritional software, or get their blood work done, or see their doctor regularly, you can't force them to do so. The CR community doesn't have a "diet" or a book of rules, and there are as many ways to practice CR as there are practitioners. We usually show tremendous respect for each other, which is much more than I can say for some people who refer to themselves as journalists.

Thanks to all my readers for the nice comments! Glad the blog is helping you do what you want to do. I sometimes think of giving up the blog... as many rightly point out, I am way too busy with my work and my life, and it's hard to deal with media attacks on top of everything else. I was most amused yesterday that I got called fat for the first time in a long time... further proof that I don't have an eating disorder: I got a tremendous laugh out of that. I wonder if I am the only woman in America who could say that. Before CR, any hint that I was "fat" would ruin my whole day. Now it gives me something funny to laugh about with my co-workers. It was actually the perfect tension-breaker in an incredibly stressful day at work.

It always amazes me that people equate the number of calories you consume with the amount of pleasure you receive. I consider myself a "foodie" -- I love good food, good wine, good restaurants, and cooking. I still go out, and I really enjoy the food I make at home. I just eat a lot less than I used to, and a lot more nutrient dense foods. During a period when I'm going out a lot, I have to be even more rigorous with my calories and nutrition when at home to make sure I get everything I need. Good food can be enjoyed as part of an overall full, satisfying life... but for so many people, I think that food is the focus. Eating is the break from the day, the medication for whatever hurts, the distraction from whatever changes they might want to make in their lives. I know a lot of people who say they'll do this or that when they lose weight. But they never make significant progress towards losing weight. It's just an excuse, a procrastination tool. I don't sit around waiting to change... I live my life, to the fullest, right here, right now. Besides, I figure, if I want to put off doing something, I may as well be healthy while I'm putting it off! The energy that most women put into dieting and obsessing about their weight makes the amount of time I spend on CR look trivial. My own experience was that I spend much less time thinking about food or weight related issues now than I did pre-CR. I think many women would agree.

I don't really have much time to obsess about much of anything... any free time I have I use trying to catch up with my partner or my cats. My work is so demanding that it's hard to find time to sleep! Yesterday I was out the door at 6:30 am to meet with nurses, spent the entire day running around like crazy between meetings and other work that had to be done, got home for an hour break at dinner time and took a quick nap, went back to the office and worked till 9 pm. Because I try not to let my entire social life disappear during these crunch times (which are actually most of the time) I met up with a few friends after work whom I don't get to see very often. We had a very nice time over a light beer and a glass of wine, and I ordered celery sticks to dip the salsa in instead of chips (though I did eat a nacho off the communal plate... without the slightest feeling of guilt or anguish or fear that I would wake up fat! I was under calories for the entire day, while still having had my nutritional staples, so I didn't worry about it in the slightest.)

I don't stress much about food. I do enjoy playing with my nutritional software, much like some people enjoy crossword puzzles. I like the game of finding ways to eat healthy, in a calorie-controlled and nutrient dense manner, while living in a crazy sick food environment. Finding the eggwhites at the Wawa, the excellent salads at my favorite restaurants, the nutritional information at every major chain so that even when I'm on the road I can find something low calorie and healthy to eat... that's all pretty entertaining to me. Just like folks who shop for antiques or bargains on designer clothes, it's fun to find the unexpected and rare. The difference is that my hobby has already made me healthier, and by all measures we have of people on CR (not anorexics or people with wasting diseases) I will continue to enjoy good health.

Unless of course my job or these media people kill me first. Which is a genuine concern. It's quite a challenge for my spiritual discipline to think kind thoughts about those who make money off of labeling us. Anorexia hysteria has become such an industry. It would be interesting to somehow calculate the amount of money that has gone to journalists and people who just call themselves that to promote the idea that a disorder that effects so few is actually a huge public health problem. Like the media frenzy around the school shootings, I find this hysteria disrespectful to the real pain and suffering of those who have eating disorders.

It will never be enough to explain to people who are determined to label us one way or another that we're actually happy, healthy, busy people. Because I have a real job, I don't always have the time to deal with the critics. In the end, as long as they don't succeed in outlawing nutritional software of mandating that every American man woman and child must consume their alotment of French fries, it doesn't matter.

And it sure is fun to wake up every morning feeling good in my own skin. I can only wish those who criticize us that they will at some point feel the same.

Posted by april at 5:49 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

April 23, 2007

More People On A Crusade To Stop Others From Eating A Healthy Diet

Yet another article by someone who wants to be convinced, based on no scientific evidence whatsoever, that CR is an eating disorder.

http://www.slate.com/id/2164436/

Do these people really think they're helping someone? Do they think I would be happier if I went back to eating ad lib, getting sick twice a year, having higher cholesterol, being tired all the time, having trouble sleeping, gaining weight every year, looking older, and feeling in general terrible? Why can they not accept that some people, responsible, mature adults, are able to eat fewer calories and actually achieve better health? Isn't it possible that those of us who can understand the science can come to the rational decision that since we want to stay as young and healthy as long as possible, it makes sense to take advantage of the only intervention known to humanity to actually prolong youth and health?

Apparently not.

These people are so determined to label us. I fear that they will show up at my door and force feed me Big Macs. I am so sick of being attacked and labeled by people who've never even talked to me, who have no credentials whatsoever, and who seem to be unable to comprehend even the slightest piece of scientific evidence about CR.

No one is trying to get other people to do CR. Can those of you who out there who are on a crusade to stop other people from eating a healthy diet please just leave us in peace? We've done nothing to hurt you, and us giving up our healthy lifestyle won't help you. Unless of course it makes you feel better about your own problems. We're fine. We're healthy, happy people... except when we're being attacked in national magazines.

Posted by april at 10:58 AM | Comments (36) | TrackBack

April 22, 2007

The RDA Method

Hey y'all...

For all of you out there who are interested not just in CR but in healthy eating, giving your body the nutrients it needs, here's a great site: www.rdamethod.com.

Artifex and I have been working on it... actually, Artifex has done most of the work as I've been so swamped that I can't do anything but my "day" job. Check it out, let us know what you think.

Posted by april at 10:23 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

April 21, 2007

Now Is Just As Good A Time As Any To Become A Zen Master

That's what I said to MR this morning when I surveyed the three months in front of me.

Two campaigns: both very hotly contested, complete with management harassing nurses and scaring the blank out of them. One of my organizing committee nurses, an amazing nurse, called me last night in tears at some of the things management had said to and about this nurse, personally. It's up to me to make sure we do everything we can to help them win, and that means no time off, barely enough time to sleep, on-call twenty-four/seven, and unbelievable stress.

It's hard to think about nutrition when you're under that kind of stress. It's easy to just throw a Lean Cuisine in the microwave instead of constructing a really healthy meal. And I'll be the first to say that there's nothing wrong with a Lean Cuisine every once in awhile. But this morning, MR snuggled up next to me at the breakfast nook and said, "Sweetie, I hate to raise this since you're already under so much stress and I don't want to add another thing to your already heavy burden, but..."

At this point I was wondering if he was going to ask me to run to the store for some sort of item. That would have been a bad idea.

"Your nutrition lately has really not been what it should be, and since you're going to have to eat out a certain amount with your co-workers during this stressful period, you really need to focus on getting perfect nutrition when you're home."

I paraphrase a bit, but that's the gist of it.

I whined a little. "Oh woe is me I'm under so much stress..."

But MR rightly pointed out that eating suboptimally makes me feel worse, even in the immediate term, not better.

This is what cracks me up about people who say we have an eating disorder. Here is the man I love, exhorting me to monitor my nutrition more carefully. Making sure that I eat a healthy breakfast before I leave the house. I almost never skip meals because a) it's not usually healthy, except as part of a carefully planned regimen b) MR gets downright worried if I do. He would never let me do anything even vaguely unhealthy... he loves me, body and soul, and knows enough to know how important nutrition is, both to my long term well being and to my short term happiness and peace of mind.

MR loves me enough to risk getting his cute little carrot top head bitten off and confront me when I start to let my healthy habits slip. And you know what, he's right. I've relied too much lately on Lean Cuisine and Subway, and not enough megamuffins, brewers yeast soups, huge plates of veggies, etc. Sure, I'm tired and busy. But I need my good nutrition to keep me going.

So I had my salad for lunch, with cottage cheese, and for dinner I had a double sized brewers yeast soup with broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, snow peas, and fire roasted tomatoes. Two tablespoons of Lewis Labs.

When the stress is flying, it's tempting to use it as an excuse to short change health. And there are times when you really don't have time to do the right thing, whether it's going to the gym or cooking much. But long ago I designed a quotidian diet that takes about 10 minutes a day to prepare, total, and I really have no excuse for not sticking to it even when the bullets are flying. I created this recipe plan when I was single and never home, always working, before I had a beautiful man in my house making me fancy salads every day. Now that I have said man, I really have motivation for living as long and as healthy as I can. I can't let him look better than I do at seventy!

When the stress hits, it seems to take the concentration of a Zen master to pass up the cheese plate and say no to that last glass of wine. It's also hard not to fall into extreme stress hell, the kind where you wake up at night counting the numbers one way and can't fall back to sleep until you've counted them going the opposite way. To keep doing the work, stay engaged, without becoming deranged, really takes a Zen master. I've gotten good at managing the stress, but it's hard when management is willing to say and do anything to demoralize and defeat their own employees.

So now, I need to become a Zen master. I need to stick to serious CR, get perfect nutrition, and battle unbelievable stress, all at the same time, with no end in sight.

Sounds like a tall order, to be sure. But when it comes to becoming a Zen master, there's no time like the present!

Posted by april at 6:08 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

Rudd Center Replies

The editor of the Rudd Center blog contacted me yesterday about the entire kerfuffle. She was a very nice person, and wanted to do everything possible to make the situation right. I appreciated her understanding that being accused of having an eating disorder in the blog of a nationally respected food policy organization is a serious matter for me. She and I agreed that the right way to move forward is to post an entry by one of us that goes into the scientific basis for CR, and a bit more about how we really feel and live. Check out her entry today.

Now, the issue is time. Who can do it? MR is out -- he's way too swamped with his own work. And you know my situation. I nominate someone who does freelance medical journalism professionally... someone short... someone skinny...

Posted by april at 7:17 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 20, 2007

Land War in Asia

Our very own Skinnybitch did some explaining of CR over on the Rudd Center blog.

You know what they say about not getting into a land war in Asia?

Well, don't get into a war of the written word about CR with a medical writer. Robin is so very sweet, but she knows her stuff, and while she's a lightweight when it comes to wine, she's a heavyweight when it comes to writing.

You go girl!

Posted by april at 10:23 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 19, 2007

Video Killed the Radio Star

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=9064868594282853618&hl=en

Posted by april at 9:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

It Makes Me So Sad To Read This Article

Here is my response to the latest Rudd Center attack on CR, myself, and my partner:

It makes me so sad to read article.

You would be hard pressed to find a bigger fan of Kelly Brownell than I. I follow this blog with great interest, and find myself cheering out loud at the entries by Maureen Schwartz, Rebecca Puhl, and other brilliant writers who contribute. I truly believe that they are moving the public discourse about obesity and its effects on our nation's health, both physical and mental, in the right direction.

I know, from my own experience, what a difference it makes in the quality of every day life to eat healthy foods and to really get the nutrition and the exercise my body needs. I've eaten the standard American diet, and I gained a lot of weight in my late twenties doing so. I didn't feel good... and my cholesterol was rising, I had trouble climbing the stairs to my third floor office, and I started to lack the stamina to work the extremely long hours that my job requires. Once I learned about CRON, started tracking my nutrition, and created a diet for myself that gives my body what it truly needs, I felt so much better! I have more energy, more strength (both physical and emotional) and more vibrant life than I've ever had before! I can honestly say that I look and feel better at 32 than I did at 22.

Here was my day:

I got up at 5 am (as usual) and got ready to leave at 6:30 am for meetings with nurses. After a quick cuddle with my wonderful tabby cat Kieffer, I set about showering and getting dressed. I came downstairs and my partner, MR, pointed out that I really needed to eat breakfast before hitting the road for another long and intense day as a union organizer.

I didn't really feel like eating breakfast... it was early, I was pressed for time, and I'm not usually hungry first thing. But I ate a megamuffin (which is a wonderful baked good, comprised of 10% of the RDA of every essential nutrient per 100 calories) for breakfast because my partner, who loves me very much, is right -- I do need to start my day with some solid nutrition to have the energy I need to do my job. MR would have been downright worried if I had skipped breakfast. Is that the behavior of someone with an eating disorder? He wanted to make sure I fueled up with excellent nutrition for my rough day.

I battled traffic for an hour on the way to my first meeting, and met with nurses from 7:30 am to9:30 am. Then I talked some strategy with various members of my staff and went to another meeting at 11:30. Things are tense... management is on the floors every day threatening nurses, and it's up to me and my staff to keep them focused on what they need to improve at work to be able to deliver the care their patients deserve.

I drove back to the office and stopped at home to pick up my lunch: the salad the MR makes me most every day. It has kale, arugula, napa cabbage, romaine, green pepper and tomatoes. I add to it a cup of either yogurt or cottage cheese for calcium, usually some salsa or hot sauce, and 10 g almonds for healthy fats. I ate my salad during a meeting with staff, and continued on to work with one of my best staff members on her approach to some difficult problems.

I'm home now, hoping to catch a very short nap before I need to jump back to work, calling nurses who want to organize to have a voice on their jobs.

Tonight, after phone call time (we stop calling nurses at 8:30 pm because they usually get up by 5) I am taking my mom out for dinner for her 62nd birthday (Happy birthday to Mom!) We're going to Blackfish, an excellent restaurant in my town. I'll probably order a fish of some kind, grilled without the sauce, a salad, and we'll enjoy a lovely glass of wine. My mom will be staying over with us (and sleeping with Kieffer the giant tabby!) because we don't drive at all if we've had even a sip to drink... MR will be our designated driver for the trip home.

I'll get a touch of sleep, then in the morning I'll get up, go to my Pilates class, and then back to work. I work seven days a week, much more than eight hours a day, because I believe that the only hope for our health care system is for nurses, those who are the real advocates for patients, to have a real voice in the decision making at hospitals. Anti-union consultants run campaigns of intense psychological battering to try to dissuade nurses from claiming their right to a voice, but if we do everything right, the nurses win. It's up to me to make sure we do everything right, and that often means sacrificing my own time, energy, and peace of mind to be available to them at all hours of the day and night. It is an honor to work with the brave women (and men!) who take care of critically ill patients every day, and I do everything I can to make sure they get to exercise their right to a voice at their hospital.

It's hard on my CR, sometimes, especially when I'm on the road, but I do pretty well. I pack some food, I make wise choices at restaurants, and I try my best to ignore the cheese plate.
Mostly, I'm thinking about my nurses and my staff and my work. When I get a moment, I check my email and I try to update my blog.

Then I read an article like this one, and I am once again disappointed in the Rudd Center.

No one has ever contacted me for comment or an interview. No one has ever accepted my inviation to dinner. No one has met me or talked to me, or my partner.

Yet the willingness to pass judgement, without the slightest bit of investigation into the scientific merits of CR, is astounding.

I think that this article is a disgrace to the Rudd Center. It calls into question the credibility of an organization whose founder calls for calorie information on menus.

Those who are interested in public health should be able to do better than unresearched articles equating CR with an eating disorder. Read my day, and tell me if this is the day of an anorexic who has nothing better to do than to fret about how fat she might be. I don't even think about how I look: frankly, I don't have time. I'm glad that the man I love finds my 104 pound frame attractive (I am 5' 2") but I am not doing this to be thin.

I am doing CR because I care so much about the world I live in that I want to be around long enough to make a positive change in it. And that's going to take a very long time.

I love my life: organizing nurses, working with the most amazing people on earth, living with a man who has brought light and love into my life in ways I could not have imagined, being part of a family of strong, caring people who are my ongoing support, even snuggling a slightly hyperactive cat. I don't want to age or die any sooner than I absolutely must. Having discovered that there is an intervention that can slow my aging process, I take advantage of it. Sure it takes some work. In the beginning, I did a ton of research and a lot of tweaking my diet to find a way to eat that was simultaneously healthy, satifsying, low calorie, and allowed for some restaurant meals out with friends, family and colleagues. But I've got it down now, and its pretty much on auto-pilot. I spend most of my time doing what my nurses need me to do.

I'm not doing this to feel superior to people who make different food choices. If you read the NY Mag article carefully, you'll see that it's Julian who felt superior for his choices, not any of the real CR folks he interviewed. And you'll see that I told Julian to increase his calories because he was losing weight too fast. I adore Julian Dibbell... he's a great writer, and just between you and me, he's also really nice to look at! But it's not fair to blame me, Michael, or anyone who practices CR for how Julian chose to approach it. He projects his own feelings onto us. We're doing this to live longer, younger. It's that simple.

Our food environment is so toxic that it is downright revolutionary to state that you actually know what is in your food (in terms of both calories and nutrition) and that you actively manage your intake. It makes me so very sad that even the Rudd Center bloggers are unable to move beyond this... you advocate calorie labeling on menus, yet those of us who consciously monitor and control our calories must have a disorder? And you don't even bother to contact or interview us? This isn't just unscientific, it's unprofessional.

I am planning to write Dr. Brownell to raise this issue. I've now been personally attacked twice in Rudd Center blogs by people who never contacted me for comment, who openly admit that they did absolutely no research into the science of CR, and who base their ideas on one man's article, with no follow-up. This casts the entire Rudd Center in a bad light. Dr. Brownell, one of the most brilliant men of our time, deserves better from an organization that he founded.

But for the moment, I must return to doing something that actually matters: organizing nurses to have the power to stand up for themselves and their patients. When you or your loved one are in the hospital, your nurse is the difference between life and death. If she is overworked, understaffed, or unable to give you or your family member the care you deserve, your odds of dying or suffering from unnecessary hospital acquired infections go up tremendously. You rely on her (or him!) to help you become healthy again. And she relies on me to help her do whatever it takes to get that power to advocate for you, even in the midst of a health care enviroment that is driven more by profit than by patient needs. I'm not going to let her down.

So I've got to get back to work.

Posted by april at 2:50 PM | Comments (17) | TrackBack

April 18, 2007

Rudd Sound Bites Once Again Attacks CR... and Me Personally

I am way too busy organizing workers right now to deal with this one...

http://ruddsoundbites.typepad.com/rudd_sound_bites/2007/04/the_calorie_res.html

Can somebody else take this one?

Posted by april at 1:01 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

April 16, 2007

Lyle Christie

L from the UK is quite right... I am once again pulling a Lyle.

Those of you who have no earthly idea what I'm talking about should read Glittering Images and Absolute Truths by Susan Howatch.

My day:

Up at 4, hit the road at 5:30 to pick up staff member and drive an hour in dangerous snow and slush to meet nurses at 6:30 am.

Met nurses till close to 9, staff meeting one, followed by staff meeting two, which happened to by coincidence take place at the very house where I had my initial conversion to CR.

Drove back to office, went to house for lunch, made lunch for kale eating co-worker. Had lunch meeting with said co-worker. Meeting went longer than I thought it would, was very productive, destroying any chance for short nap.

Went back to work, did a million things. Assigned out some tasks... at least I am, out of necessity, delegating.

Came home for desperately-needed half hour nap so as to avoid killing myself on highway driving to night meetings.

5:30 pm: hit the road for evening meetings.

6:30 pm - 8:45 pm: meetings with nurses

8:45 - 9:15 ish: drive back to little town of mine, surprisingly good time, no traffic in spite of weather.

9:15 do the grocery shopping for the week that I hadn't had time to do over the weekend because I was working every minute on deadlines. Took report from three staff members over the phone while buying produce. Now at least we will not starve.

10 pm: Got home, made MR parallell park the car as was too tired to deal with it.

10:15: whine to you a bit and go to bed.

CR is going medium... the day was good (although extra wine due to attempt to knock myself out for nap with a glass) and I even had some Wawa eggwhite patties when I realized I had run out the door without my dinner. Megamuffin breakfast, usual lunch, banana and pear at co-worker's house of CR conversion, 75 calories of eggwhites and a tossed salad, no croutons, etc. for dinner. Then in the grocery store I was so tired and ate a sample of an Easter cookie. Sugary gak, delicious. Not CR friendly. I think I may have to re-adopt the "Not One Bite Rule" until these campaigns are over... that means not one bite, however small, of anything off my plan. My plan may include a meal out, but no bites of grocery store samples, dried fruit on co-workers' desks, or any other odd thing that floats past. Cause those bites add up, and when working hard and exhausted, it's hard to keep one bite from turning into multiple bites. I find the Not One Bite rule to be very effective. In fact, my best CR period ever was the beginning of the No Bite rule fall before last. In general, I oppose biting. Unless of course someone specifically asks for it.

Now I'm drinking a delicious dirt-like red and trying to slow my brain down for sleep. Tomorrow night I'm on the road again, but only for one night.

The next two months or so will be almost unbearably busy with work. I'll do my best to keep up with the blog... it's actually a good way to let off steam at the end of a hard day. I love my work so much and the people I work with too... great stories about hanging out with JN, one of the best organizers I ever knew, last week... tons of fun with Susan and Lisa and Edward and Jim. Luke gets back to town from his mini-vacation tomorrow. MR is wonderfully supportive (whilst other people's spouses whine) and I know I am incredibly blessed to be able to do work that I find meaningful and love and get paid for it. But I am very, very tired. I think we're finally going to break down and pay someone to clean the house, even though we hate the thought of the expense, because there's just no way I can do it when I am always, always working. This weekend I barely got a few hours off, then right back at it this morning, and so on until the second of our twin elections, which will most likely be late June. Did I mention that I have to take over one of the campaigns for awhile when the primary organizer takes some time off for the birth of his first child? Like two days after the first election concludes? Most organizers take a bunch of time off (like a week or more) after an election. I won't even be able to take a day. Finish one, straight to Scranton to finish the other. I never got to take time off after the last big one either. No wonder I found myself crying uncontrollably at the attacks on my cooking in a national magazine last October. I was just too tired!

At least I am going to carve out one day, just one day, to go to New York to see Allswellinhell when she's up for a short trip. I am really looking forward to it. If only we could bring our cats!

Okay, I whine enough. Time to move on... to bed, then back to work!

Posted by april at 10:25 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

I Hope This Is Not An Inappropriate Question

So asked one of my staff members when I invited him over to the house for lunch to discuss some important matters.

"And what would that be?" I asked.

"Do you have enough of your yummy greens that I could make a salad?"

"Sure," said I. "'Can I steal some kale?' is not an inappropriate question."

This coming from someone who has been asked some pretty inappropriate questions in her day.

I apologize profusely to everyone I've been ignoring... my work is so crazy that I barely remember my name. More when I can.

Posted by april at 12:00 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 14, 2007

Sanjay Gupta Special on CNN Airs Tonight!

8 pm Eastern, apparently. Tonight and tomorrow, two part series. I think.

We won't be watching it because we don't have a TV, so can somebody tape it?

Posted by april at 6:34 AM | Comments (17) | TrackBack

April 10, 2007

Packing

Tonight I have a meeting that I won't get home from till about 10 pm, then I have to get on the road by 6 am to get to Scranton for 9 am hearings. So I need to pack my stuff in the hour I'm catching at home before I have to get back to the office.

Here's what I need for my road trip:

-- MR-made lunch salads
-- Megamuffins
-- Workout clothes (still hoping to make it to the hotel gym)
-- Brewers yeast soup packets with dehydrated veggies
-- Flax oil
-- All my supplements (MR packed them for me for the third week in a row -- is he an angel or what?)
-- Floss. I keep forgetting to pack it and no one else seems to have any, which is alarming if you think about it.
-- Almonds for healthy fats.
-- Butterworks Farms nonfat plain organic yogurt.
-- Maybe some Trader Joe's cottage cheese
-- Measuring cup
-- Suits for three days
-- Casual clothes to change into to work for five more hours after the hearings conclude every night.
-- Blinders to wear when my co-workers order the giant cheese plate (think brie, blue, chevre) and I'm starving.

CR on the road is very, very hard. But I'm going to be in Scranton a lot, so I've got to figure it out.

Thank heaven I can put a fridge in my room.

Posted by april at 1:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 8, 2007

Why Are You Looking for the Living Among the Dead?

Y'all know I always write about Easter because a) Easter is my favorite holiday b) the topic of the ressurection of the body just seems so appropriate to a blog about CR.

My mother and I attended the beautiful 9 am Easter service at Riverside Church, one of the great American Protestant cathedrals, in Morningside Heights of New York. It was just amazing... the music, the flowers, the sanctuary itself. The preaching was kinda so-so, but I've heard so much great preaching in my life that I'm way too harsh a judge. My dad and I used to play church critic every Sunday in the car on the way to lunch after service... drove my step-mom crazy. Anyhow, the service was re-vitalizing, and I found myself meditating again upon the life-affirming message of Easter.

As I've written before, my theology is way more complex than a simple, "Adam and Eve sinned so Christ died and now everything is okay," type of Christianity. Honestly, there aren't many Christians I've ever met who would make it as simple as the atheists who like to caricature our belief would like to make it seem. To my mind, it doesn't matter if Christ was resurrected in the flesh or not. The thing that matters is the eternal message of the triumph of life over death, of love and hope over despair.

If I didn't believe in this eventual victory of love over hate, of hope over despair, I definitely couldn't be a union organizer. I'd look at the odds stacked against us and run screaming to a management consulting or investment banking firm. But no, I believe, even when I have to force myself to believe, that there is an eventual victory for the working people of this country who want nothing more than fairness, justice, and a tiny piece of the American dream.

CR, too, is an extension of hope, of belief that life can be better. I know that my life is better now than it was when I was eating ad lib, and I believe that it can be even better. The last few weeks have been very rough on my CR, with all this living on the road, but I continue to find solutions to persistent problems and ways to stay healthy on the road.

This Easter finds me in the middle of many new beginnings. Two new campaigns, with union leaders getting ready to go through the fight of their lives to win a voice for themselves and their fellow nurses on the job. I have the honor of working with some amazing nurses whose example inspires me on a daily basis.

I've added some new folks to my staff, and I love watching them learn and grow. The cycle of death and re-birth is played out once more as I see organizing through their eyes... I remember everything I went through, and I want to protect them but of course I can't... I have to let them face the same kinds of pain I had to face and become their own kind of organizer.

Meanwhile, my dear friends Luke and Christine are expecting their first child in May. They're a bit overwhelmed, but very excited. I'm so looking forward to meeting this human being who will be their child.

MR and I are just as in love as always, but I find myself more than ever being grateful for how perfectly he and I fit together. The organizer and the hermit: perfect together. I need my freedom and my independence, he needs his space. When I'm on the road I call to tell him I'm okay and he takes care of the cats, but he's happy to be alone with his writing and his research, and I'm happy to be in the bubble with my organizer colleagues and my nurses. When I come home it's like we're seeing each other for the first time: he is the most beautiful thing I think I have ever seen, or will ever see. It's been over two years now and I still feel my heartbeat speed up everytime he walks into the room. Every line of his face, every curve of his skinny body strikes me as the uttermost perfection. We've been through a lot together, and he's stood by me through some huge struggles, but we're happier than ever.

So this Easter I return to Christ's tomb, but I've read ahead in the story and I know that I will not find him there. He is Risen. He is gone to spread love and joy and hope throughout the world, along with the prophets and wise men and women of many religions and traditions.

It's been a hard year, and in may ways, it's been a horrible year. The extremely difficult campaign this time last year, the lack of vacation or rest time, the stress of that New York mag article and the kerfuffle that ensued, buying a house, moving, my mom's illness, training new staff and doing the work of four or five people because I work for a small organization that can't afford to hire tons of people but only hires the best... it's been an adventure. But I can honestly say that on this Easter day I am happier than I have ever been, I am filled with hope, and I send out prayers and love and joy to all of my bloggiefriends who have been with me through the journey.

May the peace of the risen Christ be with you now and always.

Posted by april at 3:58 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 6, 2007

Salad Bar Success

The hotel where we stay when we're up in Scranton has a lunch buffet with an awesome salad bar... grilled chicken freshly sizzled in front of you in just a dry white wine, olives, fruit bowl, all the veggies. No cottage cheese, but nobody's perfect. I've been eating the salad bar for lunch, but this time MR packed my homemade salads, which have much superior (both in terms of taste and nutrition) greens, so I wanted to figure out a way to eat them for lunch. At these lunches we eat with lots of nurses, so I don't want to do anything that looks *too* weird, so i had a brainstorm that I could put the salad onto the plate at the buffet, where no one was looking, then top it with various treats from the buffet itself like olives, tomatoes, cucumbers, etc.

I was halfway through with this procedure, furtively tearing up kale leaves and putting them from the tupperware onto a restaurant plate, when my boss Edward walked up behind me.

"I am so busted," I said, knowing that Edward would look askance at incidence #5,099 of April's kale-seeking behavior.

Luckily, Edward was so wrapped up in the details of our case that he didn't quite figure out what was going on, or what I was talking about and went on to ask me work-related questions.

I got to the table and ate my nice lunch with everyone else.

Salad bar success! It's even better news since I'll be up here three to four days a week for the next few months, so if I have a salad solution that works, I'm a long way towards making being on the road something other than a CR disaster.

Posted by april at 1:12 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

April 4, 2007

Dried Fruit Of Death

One of my co-workers keeps bringing in my favorite dried fruit, pineapple and mango, to the office. He's made a very attractive display of nuts and fruit right by the microwave and watercooler in the common kitchen area.

Somehow I got stuck in an impromptu meeting with two co-workers at this spot. The evil pineapple got me.

Oh yum yum. But must not eat. Very high calorie, sugary food. It is only pretending to be fruit.

Now I feel a tiny bit ill.

Posted by april at 10:48 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

What I've Been Writing

Sorry I've been away from the blog... I've been at my union's annual convention for three days, and there was barely a minute to get away. Also, Edward kept borrowing my computer, so be mad at him, not me!

Anyhow, here's what I've I'd been spending my creative energies on for a few days: my annual report to the convention. Thought you might find it interesting, though it's not about CR at all... it's a peek at what I do in my "real" life. I changed some of the names and details to protect those who don't want to be associated with CR! :)

Well, it’s been a pretty good year.

But more about that in a minute.

When I came to P in late 2002, P was already a successful union, but it was very much a new organization. Those of you who led your colleagues out of PSEA and formed your own, completely independent nurses’ and health care professionals’ union had three stated aims: to win excellent contracts that guaranteed the respect that nurses’ and health care professionals’ work deserves at each of your own hospitals; to become a strong, powerful and authoritative voice for nurses, health care professionals, and most importantly, patients, before our state legislature here in Harrisburg, and third, to help other nurses and health care professionals organize. To that end, you stole BC, then regional director and staff attorney for the 9000 member nurses’ union HPAE of New Jersey. He came with close to twenty years of experience in organizing, negotiating health care contracts and leading strikes against vicious employers and a reputation for being willing to do whatever it takes to make sure nurses win. He brought with him JS, who took on the task of helping Patty, Phyllis, Maureen and the rest of the leadership at T re-organize the T nurses' local and take on management in a way that T wasn’t quite used to.

By the end of 2002, you were far along with mission #1, getting great contracts. With BC’s leadership, you had worked hard to educate every nurse in your own facilities about what it means to be a union, and you had fundamentally changed your relationships with your employers to reflect the power that organized nurses can and should have. You had won standard-setting contracts in most of the P hospitals, and were finally starting to be the union you set out to become when you fled the teacher’s union.

I was lucky to join you in time for the amazing victories of 2003. I had just finished leading 1200 RNs at the largest hospital in Vermont to an organizing victory, and I was excited to join my old friends from HPAE in the project of organizing Pennsylvania. From the WB strike in February (Mental note: don’t go on strike in the Wyoming Valley in winter!) when over 2000 community members rallied on a snowy Saturday afternoon to show their support for the nurses who save their lives every day, to the monumental T nurses’ contract campaign, in which I did the internal organizing for the contract campaign while BC and JS led the fight at the negotiating table, when close to 90% of the nurses at T *voluntarily* joined the union because they understood that only by stepping up and taking ownership of their organization could they show a boss that was used to 30 years of walking all over the unions at T that they, the T nurses, demanded respect, P nurses proved to the employers of this state that nurses are a force to be reckoned with.

But winning great contracts for yourselves wasn’t your only goal. While a lot of unions would have been tempted to rest on their accomplishments – after all, having the best salaries for nurses in the state and the best retirement, to winning early retirement with health benefits and keeping health care premiums low even in a system where other nurses are paying nearly twice as) – is no small accomplishment.

But you wanted more than that. You wanted to help nurses and health care professionals who were still working as at will employees, living in fear of getting fired if they spoke up for their patients. And you didn’t just want this because you’re wonderful, caring, giving, unselfish people – though I know you are. You wanted to help others organize because you understood that only when a market share of nurses is organized can we win on the really big issues, like retiree healthcare, real pensions for nurses, and last but most importantly, safe staffing ratios in state law! You knew that the only reason why those nurses in California got nurse to patient ratios in state law was because they had already organized 90% of the market, and while it’s a daunting proposition in a state where only 15% of nurses were in unions at all, you were ready to take on the challenge because you knew that there was simply no other way to win on the big issues facing the profession.

You made hard choices in order to make P an organizing union. In 2003 you went through a long process of reforming your dues structure to both guarantee fairness and provide an adequate budget to take on the challenge of organizing. You invested in professional staff with experience in organizing in the difficult world of private sector health care, and you provided the resources to allow us to hire the best. You also volunteered your own very precious time and energy to talk to colleagues at other hospitals about the power that nurses and health care professionals can gain by organizing.

The good news is that it’s working: last year saw the largest organizing victory in P history, and indeed the second largest organizing victory in health care in Pennsylvania in ten years. The technical and professional employees at T – lab techs, respiratory therapists, social workers, dieticians, physical therapists, radiology technicians, and many others joined P, adding 550 people to our membership numbers. These professionals immediately took on T, the second richest hospital in the state, in a fast and intense contract campaign: they got their membership up to above 85%, elected a huge and representative bargaining committee of 25, and won an excellent first P contract with huge improvements in pension, salaries (including pay for experience for the first time ever!) and on-call and shift differentials… all while keeping health care premiums down to $25 per pay week for family health care. The T techs and professionals were able to follow the example of the nurses and build on the strength that six years of hard work by T nurses' local members had created to face off against a tough employer and win. The addition of these professionals greatly adds to the strength of all P members in the T system, and we look forward to the grand battle of 2009 when 2000 P members in the T system negotiate contracts at the same time.

All of our years of work to educate the nurses in our target markets about who P is and what organized nurses can do is also finally starting to pay off. Since P was born, we’ve been engaged in constant outreach to the unorganized, including speakouts on nurse issues around the state, surveys to unorganized nurses, and involving unorganized nurses in our legislative efforts to show them that P is the real voice for nurses and patients in PA. The organizing staff has made literally thousands of phone calls to unorganized nurses, attempting to engage them in conversation around our legislative efforts or educational seminars, making sure that they know that when they’re ready to talk about organizing a union, P is the union they’ll call.

Well, they’re starting to call.

The nurses at (hospital in) of Scranton, a hospital where many a union has lost elections, made the decision to organize with P. They had seen the amazing work WB nurses did to build their union and teach their boss the meaning of respect, and they wanted to do the same. So even though the majority of nurses in Northeast PA are in another union, the hospital nurses insisted that they were going with P. We filed for an election on March 16, and now we’re engaged in a long and difficult hearing where CMC management is trying to deny the right to vote to 100 nurses who take charge. The nurses are busy standing up for their rights, including going to testify before the Labor Board, in the presence of their administration… something you can imagine is scary for unorganized nurses who have no guarantee that they’ll be successful. We know that we will face an A campaign from management: the largest insurance company of Northeast PA is funding an alliance between (this hospital) and the only other unorganized hospital in town, and they’re willing to shell out a lot of cash to make sure the nurses never have a voice. We have already seen mandatory meetings, personal, one-on-one threats, and offers of special deals to individual nurses. It’s going to take intense, one-on-one contact between organizing staff and every single one of the 450 nurses, in addition to the phenomenal work staff nurses are doing to keep their co-workers educated and on board, to win this campaign. There are no guarantees – while we bring a lot of private sector health care organizing experience to these fights, we know, because we’ve been through them, that they’re terrifying, confusing ordeals for the nurses who go through them, and that even the best have the odds stacked against them. As N, 20 year organizer who has worked with us and now works for the MNA, puts it:

Our problem is that we can’t withstand an anti union campaign. The essence of which goes like this: Train the front line supervisors to get in the face of the people that work for them and then deliver this simple message. “If you vote for the union I consider it a vote against me. You figure out the rest.” Most people can, and I’d venture to say that most clear thinking people given their druthers would rather have a good relationship with their boss. Another major component of an anti union campaign is about creating an atmosphere in which rational decision making based on reasonable arguments presented by both sides becomes impossible. In fact they prefer if the only messaging comes from them. Most good consultants by the end of the campaign make it seem like a conversation with a co-worker about the union is the equivalent of physical assault or a phone call from an organizer is some sort of outrageous intrusion on your privacy.

I believe that our nurses in this hospital can withstand this anti-union campaign, with a lot of help from your organizing staff (Luke has been doing a great job as our primary organizer on the campaign) and the nurses around the state, but especially in WB, who give of their own time to offer support to their colleagues. But it won’t be easy. We hope to have an election in early summer, and by this time next year, to count this hospital as one of our newest locals!

Now onto a subject very close to the hearts of many of our delegates here today… the only unorganized hospital in the T system, after years of lagging far behind in salaries and benefits, has finally decided to organize the union! They do this in an atmosphere of extreme fear and insecurity: in January, just a month after nurses began meeting with P organizers signing union cards, T announced that it was closing the maternal child health department, eliminating the jobs of 102 nurses and closing the only hospital in northeast Philly where a mom could give birth. Now new moms have to go into the city or out to Abington, and experienced nurses were left with little more than a “See ya – bye!” to show for their years of service at J.

A 30 year NICU nurse put it best:

“These nurses have worked their entire lives, played by the rules, given up weekends and holidays, come in early and stayed late, cancelled vacations, put themselves in physical danger and through emotional trauma to care for mothers and babies. And now T has just taken away everything we worked our entire careers to build.”

The good news is that instead of running away and hiding in fear, the other nurses at J realize that they need protection and a strong voice more now than ever. On March 9, we filed for an election with the Pennsylvania Labor Relations Board. The PLRB is known for delay, so it may be months before we have a vote. Management is already campaigning to change nurses’ minds: they’ve hired a very popular former Director of Nursing to be the face of their anti-union campaign, and she’s walking the floors and sitting at the nurses stations trying to convince nurses that very bad things will happen to them if they organize. We hope for a vote this summer, but we can be sure that management will have plenty of time to fight nurses. JW has been our primary organizer on the campaign, and she’s done an excellent job of navigating the difficult issues we’ve faced so far.

What all of this means is that all of our work, creating the climate where nurses would come to us when they were ready to fight for a voice, is paying off. Healthcare is changing, and not for the better. Nurses have to make a decision: will we organize, fight for ourselves and our patients, and risk the consequences, or will we allow our profession to be slowly destroyed? Nurses have a choice, and all over Pennsylvania, they’re finally starting to make the right choice.

We, all of us in this room, will be there to help them. You’ve already sacrificed of your own resources to help nurses you don’t know and may never meet get a voice on their jobs and protect themselves and their patients. In the next few years, we’ll all be asked to sacrifice more. Hospital administrations spend millions, literally millions of dollars on anti-union campaigns because they’re afraid that their nurses and health care professionals will get what you have: the power to affect every decision that affects your work and your patients. When nurses and health care professionals have that kind of power, health care administrators can no longer balance their budgets on the backs of the patients. They’re willing to fight hard to maintain the absolute power they’ve come to enjoy, and we have to be equal to the task. We’ll always have less money, but we have the strength of almost 5000 nurses and health care professionals who have already taken on the health care system and won… and the vision of a Pennsylvania where every nurse and every health care professional has the power to advocate for her patients, not just at the bedside but at the negotiating table and before the legislature.

I think we’re up for it. The alternatives are unthinkable. After nearly eleven years of organizing nurses and health care professionals, meeting them in diners all over New Jersey and Pennsylvania where they show up at 8:30 am after the night shift (they should be out by 7:30!) often literally in tears because they didn’t have the staff to give the care they know their patients need, I am convinced that patients in this state will not be safe until every nurse in Pennsylvania has what you have already won for yourselves: a powerful voice on the job, one that can not be ignored. I know that I, and my organizing staff, will do everything we can to help your colleagues all over this state win.

Now let’s stop chatting about it and get back to work.

Posted by april at 6:20 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 2, 2007

Respect the Kale

I just had one of the best lunches I have ever had at a union convention.

There was a salad spread with a bunch of gaky mayo creations, but it had decent lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers. They brought me vinegar upon request. Then there was a deli tray with tons of turkey and mustard. I put a ton of that on my salad. Then there was a relish tray with pickles, hot peppers and olives. Piled on.

Then the best part: the garnish on the deli tray was huge, fresh gorgeous leaves of green kale! And there it was, being disrespected by being treated as garnish. Funny how people think that food is garnish and that stuff that shouldn't be eaten is food.

Anyhow, I liberated every leaf of kale from that deli tray and ate a marvelous salad. It was at least fifty grams.

The woman behind me in line said that her iguana loves to eat kale.

Now I'm back in my room quickly grabbing the computer, and a cup of nonfat plain yogurt that MR packed me but that I didn't have time to grab before lunch, before going back into meetings. More soon!

Posted by april at 1:24 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack