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April 21, 2007
Now Is Just As Good A Time As Any To Become A Zen Master
That's what I said to MR this morning when I surveyed the three months in front of me.
Two campaigns: both very hotly contested, complete with management harassing nurses and scaring the blank out of them. One of my organizing committee nurses, an amazing nurse, called me last night in tears at some of the things management had said to and about this nurse, personally. It's up to me to make sure we do everything we can to help them win, and that means no time off, barely enough time to sleep, on-call twenty-four/seven, and unbelievable stress.
It's hard to think about nutrition when you're under that kind of stress. It's easy to just throw a Lean Cuisine in the microwave instead of constructing a really healthy meal. And I'll be the first to say that there's nothing wrong with a Lean Cuisine every once in awhile. But this morning, MR snuggled up next to me at the breakfast nook and said, "Sweetie, I hate to raise this since you're already under so much stress and I don't want to add another thing to your already heavy burden, but..."
At this point I was wondering if he was going to ask me to run to the store for some sort of item. That would have been a bad idea.
"Your nutrition lately has really not been what it should be, and since you're going to have to eat out a certain amount with your co-workers during this stressful period, you really need to focus on getting perfect nutrition when you're home."
I paraphrase a bit, but that's the gist of it.
I whined a little. "Oh woe is me I'm under so much stress..."
But MR rightly pointed out that eating suboptimally makes me feel worse, even in the immediate term, not better.
This is what cracks me up about people who say we have an eating disorder. Here is the man I love, exhorting me to monitor my nutrition more carefully. Making sure that I eat a healthy breakfast before I leave the house. I almost never skip meals because a) it's not usually healthy, except as part of a carefully planned regimen b) MR gets downright worried if I do. He would never let me do anything even vaguely unhealthy... he loves me, body and soul, and knows enough to know how important nutrition is, both to my long term well being and to my short term happiness and peace of mind.
MR loves me enough to risk getting his cute little carrot top head bitten off and confront me when I start to let my healthy habits slip. And you know what, he's right. I've relied too much lately on Lean Cuisine and Subway, and not enough megamuffins, brewers yeast soups, huge plates of veggies, etc. Sure, I'm tired and busy. But I need my good nutrition to keep me going.
So I had my salad for lunch, with cottage cheese, and for dinner I had a double sized brewers yeast soup with broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, snow peas, and fire roasted tomatoes. Two tablespoons of Lewis Labs.
When the stress is flying, it's tempting to use it as an excuse to short change health. And there are times when you really don't have time to do the right thing, whether it's going to the gym or cooking much. But long ago I designed a quotidian diet that takes about 10 minutes a day to prepare, total, and I really have no excuse for not sticking to it even when the bullets are flying. I created this recipe plan when I was single and never home, always working, before I had a beautiful man in my house making me fancy salads every day. Now that I have said man, I really have motivation for living as long and as healthy as I can. I can't let him look better than I do at seventy!
When the stress hits, it seems to take the concentration of a Zen master to pass up the cheese plate and say no to that last glass of wine. It's also hard not to fall into extreme stress hell, the kind where you wake up at night counting the numbers one way and can't fall back to sleep until you've counted them going the opposite way. To keep doing the work, stay engaged, without becoming deranged, really takes a Zen master. I've gotten good at managing the stress, but it's hard when management is willing to say and do anything to demoralize and defeat their own employees.
So now, I need to become a Zen master. I need to stick to serious CR, get perfect nutrition, and battle unbelievable stress, all at the same time, with no end in sight.
Sounds like a tall order, to be sure. But when it comes to becoming a Zen master, there's no time like the present!
Posted by april at April 21, 2007 6:08 PM
Comments
Hi April,
It really sounds like you are giving everything you have to fight the good fight. I used to work as part of a management team in a unionized hotel and saw first hand how some managers would take every opportunity to try to violate the collective agreement in order to cut costs and or make their own lives easier, completely forgetting the humanity of the people in their employ. The work you do day to day to protect nurses from exploitation ends up making for a better health service which in turn makes for a better society. It is really uplifting to read about. I am really glad that you are also working hard on taking good care of yourself while taking care of so may others. Namasté.
Posted by: Christine Davidson at April 21, 2007 10:37 PM
Hi April
Just three thoughts regarding practicing Zen. 1)You need the support of a group that you can meditate with at least once weekly. 2)It's good to set up a meditation cushion somewhere in your house that invites you to sit at it and meditate daily. 3)With your schedule, you could use a short time before going to sleep as the meditation time. You can fool your body by telling it you're just pre-sleeping while sitting in a meditation post. That will actually calm you so that you will fall asleep when you hit the sack. Alternatively you could meditate early in the morning. Hope that helps. Arturo
Posted by: Arturo at April 22, 2007 6:06 AM
Hi Aprilitamu,
Darling I can't believe those Rudd center people, morons, really. I am going to e-mail you newest pics of my kitties so they can cheer you up over these stressful times.
And fasten your belt now: Maybe, just maybe, NYC for me in late fall or early winter.
love,
z.
Posted by: istanbulwitchy at April 22, 2007 2:53 PM
You need to be a Zen master? I urge you in the strongest terms to go out and get yourself a chocolate milkshake. Really. Paradox and contradiction are the central lesson of Zen. Your koan would most assuredly be the #3 Value Meal at McDonald's :)
Posted by: Yvonne at April 22, 2007 3:24 PM
Well, maybe not a chocolate milkshake .... But how about a Starbucks Venti Non-Fat, Light Foam, One Splenda Latte? Or maybe just a little one, with only a little Splenda... Yvonne's right -- you need a treat, girl! They're so delicious and sure keep me going! MoMR :-)
Posted by: Judith at April 22, 2007 5:57 PM
1. Look at pictures of kittens.
2. Listen to "Fellow Workers" by Utah Phillips.
3. Maybe you need some inositol.
Posted by: allswellinhell at April 22, 2007 6:07 PM
I should add--if what you actually want is to find a way to be calm through it all, you don't want Zen, you want Theravada/Vipassana. Zen is about shaking everything up and turning it inside out; it's about unanswerable puzzles. You confront yourself with paradoxes in order to explode rational understanding, which will supposedly make life easier to deal with.
Posted by: Yvonne at April 22, 2007 7:29 PM
Hi April
Theravada/Vipassana is good, which Yvonne recommends. Buddhism began in India, where the Buddha was born, and it evolved when it moved to different countries. But whether it's Tibetan Buddhism (the branch of the Dalai Lama), Theravandan (which has origins in Thailand) or Zen (which has origins in Japan), it doesn't matter. They are all forms of the same thing with different ways to practice. A lot of psychologists and medical practitioners follow Theravada/Vipassana. For example, you can check out the books by Jon Kabat Zinn, or by Jack Kornfield. These teachers call their methods "insight meditation." Their books are easy to read. If that works for you, great. You mentioned the word Zen, and that is my main practice, so that is why I made my comments. You can find peaceful meditation in all of these groups.
Posted by: Arturo at April 22, 2007 9:01 PM