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August 26, 2007
Look At That Little Girl Eating Her Fruit Like She's Supposed To!
Or: "My grandfather is dying, but at least the food is good!"
I went down this weekend to North Carolina to visit my grandparents. My grandfather is 93, and after living an extraordinary life (of which I will write more later) he took a turn for the worse about a year ago and now he's quite ill, unable to get out of bed, and recently refusing food and drink. He says he wants to die, and the family believes him. This has all been hard on my vibrant, social, healthy grandmother, who won't tell us her age, but we suspect she's at least 89. She still drives. She has a lot more energy than I do.
I knew it would be the last time I saw my grandfather alive, and I'm so glad I went. I'm glad I got to say goodbye, and also glad I got to help my grandmother out during one of the most difficult weekends of her life. Seventy-two years of marriage... can you imagine? Not easy to just let someone go. She said they used to say they'd die together in a plane crash. She wasn't so lucky... she's tougher than he is, and likely to outlast him by many years. I can imagine her clearing 100 with ease.
Being around her gave me new CR-inspiration. She's always been tiny... about 100 pounds at 5'4" her whole life. Most of the time, they ate fish, fruit, yogurt, veggies. She never drank nor smoked, and she drank a ton of Diet Coke and coffee. She is still quite beautiful at 90ish. The pictures of her when she was young (like 55!) are just stunning. It makes me think that with genes like those, and the knowledge and willingness to work at it, I could remain just as healthy as she is if not healthier long past my nineties. She never lifted weights, monitored her nutrition, took supplements, or watched her diet. She's doing great, but with some muscle tone and bone strength, she'd be doing even better. She urged me to keep using sunscreen and stay out of the sun to preserve my skin.
I love hanging out at her retirement community. Every evening at 5 pm (which I think is the ideal dinner hour) the residents converge upon the dining room. There, they help themselves to a salad bar that has every treasure a CR practitioner could want, from raw broccoli to vinegar to cottage cheese. Unlimited. Free wine. The buffet always has a healthy option: Friday night, I had a grilled chicken breast with nothing on it. Saturday, it was grilled tilapia. Sunday brunch I had an eggwhite omlette with all the veggies. There's always a giant fruit bowl filled with melon, pineapple, berries, and anything you could want. That's why the gentleman quoted in the blog title observed me eating a bowl of fruit. While there are other, unhealthy choices, there are so many good choices that it's easy to eat right.
My grandmother is a social butterfly. She knows everyone, and they love her. All the waitresses call her "Miss Kitty" (her name is Kitty) and all the residents know her and ask her if there's anything they can do to help now that my grandfather is so sick. The people she eats with are just wonderful... from all over the country, but come to NC to retire mostly cause their children are nearby. They all have fascinating life stories, and they're so kind to my grandparents. I think they take special care of them because my grandparents are the oldest people in the community. Before my grandfather got sick, they'd come to the dining room wearing matching suits, and they'd dance in the door way. They loved to dance. They danced in Paris, London, New York...
Quite the extraordinary life.
But more on that later. While I was up at the dining room I met my grandmothers' friends, and they impressed me greatly by asking me if I was in high school and if I had plans for college. I am 33, so I was quite pleased by this, even though it can likely be attributed to:
a) their failing eyesight
b) their Southern manners.
Still, I'll take all the compliments I can get, and blame it on CR. One of the asked if I was my father's granddaughter. That person will be my best friend forever.
My parents are staying the night tonight, and I suspect that my grandfather won't make it more than two days. He wanted a memorial service, not a funeral, so I imagine it will be a couple of weeks then I'll be making a trip back down.
Tomorrow is back to work, and I will attempt to re-connect with my normal world. It was quite the weekend out of time... I felt like I got to visit with past generations. My grandmother is such an amazing woman... such a connector of people and places and ideas. I hope she lives a long, long time.
Posted by april at August 26, 2007 7:36 PM
Comments
I will pray for your grandfather, that if it really is his wish to die now, that he may leave this world gently and quietly, in his sleep. I will also pray for your grandmother, that she may continue to live her life in health and with strength. And I will pray for you, dear April, that you continue to live and love with joy and purpose, for a VERY long time. By the sounds of things, you've got everything going for you. :-)
Posted by: Judith at August 26, 2007 9:08 PM
This was a FANTASTIC post. Exactly why I read your blog nearly every day!
Posted by: Jake Silver at August 27, 2007 4:20 PM