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September 9, 2007
Actually, I Do Want a New Washing Machine
Our washing machine, we discovered shortly after moving in, kinda sucks.
It's old, it has a habit of eating my clothes. It makes holes in sweaters and destroyed my favorite pair of underwear. It is rather clunky. I can't wash anything I really love in it, and I have to take extra care to handwash anything even vaguely delicate.
But I'm not willing to pay the price to buy a new, fancier washing machine, so I make do. It's just not in the budget. Sure, I could give up some wine or some going out to eat or things like that to save for a new washing machine, but I'm not willing to make the tradeoff. So I keep drinking my French wine and eating out with friends and rescuing my underwear before this damned washing machine eats it.
I've come to realize, as I've become wiser and more resigned to life in general, that washing machines eating underwear is just a part of life. It is immature of me to dream of a better washing machine... this is just how life is. Handwashing Victoria's Secret thongs is my lot in life. It's part of what it means to be human. There's nothing I can do about it, so I've accepted it.
Well, there's nothing I can do about it *that I am willing to pay the price for.*
I do a lot of praying for serenity on the topic. I consult others whose washing machines have eaten some of their favorite clothes for wisdom on how I can better accept my lot and find happiness even as my favorite pairs of underwear meet destruction at the hands (hands?) of this washing machine.
*Pause for reflection*
I don't mean to make fun of anyone. Well, only in a good natured way.
My point is (in case it's not obvious, but I think it is) is that sometimes when people want something, but aren't willing to pay the price, they convince themselves that the thing is not something worth having.
I'm not saying that anyone in particular is doing that. But to be quite honest (and a bit controversial, I know) that's a lot of what I hear when I read arguments against a) biomedical interventions into the aging process b) serious CR c) CR at all.
Try this thought experiment: if you were told that you had a serious form of cancer, and you had 6 weeks to live unless you undergo radical treatment, what would you do?
Throughout history, humans have been unsatisfied with the limits "nature" sets on human lifespan. That's why we have medicine! That's why we have antibiotics, and sanitation, and chemotherapy, and hip replacements, and braces! Well, maybe not braces. Do people die of bad teeth? I don't know, my teeth were fine. It's the only thing about my parents that got along: their teeth.
Aren't you dads out there happy that your child's mom didn't die in childbirth? Even just fifty or so years ago, a whole lot of women did. My grandfather lost his mom when he was only eleven: she died of "childbed fever." My grandmother, now ninety, nearly died after the birth of my uncle (now a dean at Duke University.)
As Gregg points out in the comments to the last entry, no one is going to live forever.
But when people express resignation to the prospect of aging and disease and disability and death, I really wonder why they've given up so easily.
I completely understand being unwilling to pay the price. Most people are unwilling to pay the price of even thinking about their food long enough to achieve a "healthy" weight, much less to do CR. Most people who have discretionary income would rather spend it on something else other than research that might find ways to reverse the aging process. Most people would rather watch TV, or go to a Phillies game.
There are some things in life that we have to accept. The fact that cats shed an unreasonable amount of fur, yet continue to regenerate said fur to fill the vacuum once again. The fact that horrible accidents happen, and that people die too young. I sometimes think about the fact that my best friend is likely to die way before I do. It makes me sad, really sad. But I have to accept his choices, and his parents' choice to have him twelve years before I was born so he's already at a disadvantage. I can only control my choices, not the choices of others.
But as they say in The Rules, "We can't control cancer or drunk drivers, but we can restrain ourselves from dialing his number."
My motto: "I may not be able to control cancer or drunk drivers, but I can keep my calories low and my nutrition high."
I am willing to pay the price. The rest is just niggling about the technicalities, and getting the system to work.
Now getting the system to work is a non-trivial task: I'm three years in and still have tons of trouble with my CR practice. The system takes some work, but to me it's worth it. And the results, even at my moderate end of the CR spectrum, are fantastic.
As I mentioned earlier, I've addressed the "Death is a part of life, aging is natural" so many times that I'm not willing to do it again in too much detail. If people are still in that mindset, I have no particular interest in talking them out of it.
But I do hope that The Book convinces a greater audience that we can do better, and that investing in doing better is worth the price. Because while CR is a very individual enterprise, funding biomedical research is not. It depends on public consensus, and right now, the public consensus has a long way to go.
Even in the absence of biomedical advances, the prospect of living healthy from 70 to 90 is enough reason for CR for me. My grandparents set a great example of how wonderful those years can be, but they didn't do that by accident. They lived very disciplined, happy lives of work, play, light eating, no smoking, careful watching of weight (my grandfather weighed himself every day and cut back on food that day if his weight was up) and enjoying the company of a huge loving family and a giant circle of friends. They never spent a day in a nursing home, and they hardly ever spent a night in a hospital. My grandmother is still pretty as a picture at ninety, and still drives, is still extremely active, and is a wonderful inspiration to the rest of the family.
So I'm not really convinced, obviously, by arguments that we should just accept aging and get all serene about it. I bet I'm happier actively doing something about it than most people are accepting it. Just from my own experience, I know I'm happier now than I was pre-CR, and I'm happier when I'm on more serious CR than when I'm messing around with "moderation."
The fact is, I do want a new washing machine. I may not be willing to pay the price for one right now, but I'm going to mourn for all those destroyed sweaters and pairs of underwear and I'm going to pray for the self-discipline to spend less of my money on stupid stuff so that I can save for the washing machine of my dreams, one that will carry me (or at least my lingerie) into an indefinite future of happiness with the man I love.
Until then, I'll handwash my undies.
Posted by april at September 9, 2007 12:04 PM
Comments
I know this is not the point of your post - but you can get a pretty new washer for $200 or less on craigslist - like this one http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/hsh/417106644.html
Sounds like it would pay for itself in destroyed clothes pretty quickly. Even a new one from Sears would be $400-500. Especially if you catch it on sale.
Posted by: Little MR at September 9, 2007 2:48 PM
There is a "moderate", thrifty and environmentally friendly solution to your evil washer problem: go to Habitat for Humanity. They will almost certainly have a wonderful, working washing machine for sale for about 1/4 the cost of a new one (maybe less). The poor thing will have been given the old heave-ho, not because it isn't 100% functioning, but because some yuppie out there decided s/he simply HAD to have a new, stainless steel Bosch or Miele model to coordinate with all the other top-of-the-line appliances in his/her perfect home. Honest! Check it out! :-)
Posted by: Judith at September 9, 2007 3:57 PM
april, you suffer from disordered washing. repent and buy granny panties now! : )
Posted by: allswellinhell/ashley at September 9, 2007 4:50 PM
"Even in the absence of biomedical advances, the prospect of living healthy from 70 to 90 is enough reason for CR for me."
Yeah, April: that's exactly what convinced me and motivated me to start CR at 51 (after many years of careful eating, which thankfully removed me from a strong familal pattern of overweight and obesity).
I also have faith that a new washing machine is not that far off in your future, and you deserve it and NEED it. You'll be able to afford it sooner than you think. (I remember being in my 30s and despairing about being the only doctor's wife in town who had to go to the laundromat; hey, at least you do have a washer.)
Thanks for all that you give to others. I've never met you, but I've grown quite fond of you through your blog. Perhaps one day we'll meet. Take care. Cheers, Yvonne
Posted by: Yvonne at September 9, 2007 9:28 PM
Thanks so much to all for your kind wishes and your advice on washing machines!
I'm off to an out of town meeting this morning (Monday) and may have infrequent internet access until I return Thursday night, so don't worry if I don't get to post. Also, there may be a delay in approving your comments as I will be away.
Thank you!
a
Posted by: april at September 10, 2007 12:48 AM
Why get a new washing machine at all? Putting your thongs in a lingerie bag is easier and cheaper. CR may not make you live forever, but it will get you closer. And a lingerie bag won't fix your washing machine, but it might just save your panties.
Posted by: Brooke at September 10, 2007 5:36 AM
April - just a personal question to you and perhaps Michael, How do you handle all of the extreme conflicting health information out there about what to eat?
I'm fairly new to CR and nutrition and I'm starting to seriously go nuts with stress(and because of this starting to feel a lot worse then before cr) about conflicting info(so much so that I'm eating too little as nothing appears to be safe and losing far too much weight).
Example(there is tons of other ones besides this, seafood, Biotin deficincy in eating egg whites, etc): Insulin causes aging, okay I'll stop eating potatoes and so much grains, also I'll add in protein and Fats for each meal so that the insulin load is lightened and the GL will go down. Also Cut back on fruits because of the high insulin load, you might as well eat candy then white bread or potatos.
then I find out, Oh sorry, we actually have the insulin index now that shows Milk and Cheese and seafood(eggs are an acceptable choice, but can't eat those because egg whites without the yolk causes biotin deficiency, but the yolks have sat fat!) and tons of different protein groups actually have a higher insulin response then white bread! and eating these proteins combined with carbs is actually going to be worse for your insulin. So you should separate carbs and proteins. Also fruits have low insulin index and can be eaten freely.
Then I find some other credible doctor that says, no actually fats are the root cause of insulin resistance and that insulin can lower blood sugar better if you eat carbs. so eat less fat and protein and more good carbs to lower insulin.
Not too mention all the information about some people saying you should graze your food so that you never glucose spike, and these saying eating your food once a day so that you will only have a spike for a short time and your blood can return to normal quickly.
How do you lead a nutritional lifestyle without going mad with seemingly very little agreement amongst doctors on anything?
Posted by: Chuck F at September 10, 2007 8:45 PM
Sorry about double posting here: but just going semi-crazy: not too mention stuff like you should drink at least 3l of water a day, then a different book claiming it stretches your stomach and will spike your insulin more so don't drink any more then 8 cups and never at meal time. and flax oil you need but it can be incredibly dangerous if not refrigerated, which leaves you paranoid about using it, but the only other way to get omega 3's is through fish, which the mercury poision will get to you first/ and other oils can be oxidized and cause you to age even more. etc etc. all of this can just drive a person mad
Posted by: Chuck F at September 10, 2007 9:36 PM
Chuck - do you have any reason to believe your insulin levels are dangerously high? If not, surely chill! I'm no nutritionist, but it seems to me that if you take your diet down to the basics - lots of vegetables (lots of leafy greens), nuts and seeds, fruits and wholegrains in moderation -, if you avoid processed and packaged foods, if you avoid additives, artificial flavourings, chemicals - well, the job's mostly done. Sure there's tweaking to follow, and paying close attention to getting the right nutrients in the right balance, but CR is about life - there's not much point in a CR life if stress and orthorexia get you first!
Posted by: Sara at September 12, 2007 5:25 AM
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
--From Hamlet (III, ii, 239)
April, I think you are definately conflicted about CR (moreso than you might admit to). But I hope you keep being honest about your conflicts, because they are interesting to read. You write well. If you are into CR for 3 years and still struggling with it, I think CR is really not something most people could do, even if they wanted to.
Posted by: Garry at September 12, 2007 1:25 PM
Garry,
Protest what?
Glad you like the blog.
And no one ever said CR was easy, or that most people could do it. Most people can't.
No one is trying to convert people to CR. So I'm not sure why you keep asserting, over and over again, that most people are not going to do it. Everyone agrees with you: most people don't want to do CR. No problem.
a
Posted by: april at September 12, 2007 7:49 PM
April, I struggle with comments like your message to Garry ("No one is trying to convert people to CR"). You have done media about CR (I found your blog via Julian Dibbell's New York Times Magazine piece), you maintain this blog, you say that doing CR brings you euphoria comparable to drug use, you publicly flog yourself whenever you stray off the path (and share with us your plans to help yourself do better next time), you refer to almost all 'normal' food as 'gak,' you see 'gak' everywhere and assert that the culture conspires to get us to eat it (and I'm not saying you're wrong about that!), you assert that you are often subtly persecuted for your "public displays of health," *and* you repeatedly share your belief that in doing CR, you are slowing your aging process and giving yourself a shot at "escape velocity." When people question you about the value, accuracy, wisdom, or likely results of any of this, you accuse them of "not being willing to do the work...and [convincing] themselves that the thing [extended lifespan] is not worth having."
In that context, your protestations that you're not prosyletizing are a little shaky. The fact is, you're witnessing to us, plain and simple. And that's great! Don't be ashamed to be evangelical about CR. Lord knows plenty of people are out there being evangelical about much stupider stuff. But please recognize yourself as an evangelist, and don't act all "I don't know what's wrong with *you*, Garry" when people push back at your values. You clearly feel the world would be a better place if more people *did* do CR; I've read posts where you mourn for all the non-CR people and wish you could make them see the light. In that context, you can't take offense when someone comes back with a good strong "I totally disagree." Saying "But I never *asked* you to agree!" is kind of nonsensical. You make strong assertions which invite debate. Crying foul when people then debate you is a little unfair.
I do think your faith (because that's what it is) is very fragile, and I wish for your own sake that you would explore your abhorrence of aging and death. *I am not asking you to just "give up."* Only to look at your feelings.
Posted by: Yvonne at September 13, 2007 7:02 AM
April, I like your blog and think you write well. It's ejoyable to read, even for those who don't do CR. I have a question for you (if you want to answer it): if you think CR can help reverse the aging process, what does it mean if the majority of people can't do it? Why do you think you can do CR when most can't? After all, everyone fears aging, suffering and death. Maybe you've already covered this; I haven't read your entire blog. Anyway, keep up the good work - with CR (since you believe in it) and with the blog. Not everyone could make CR as interesting as you do when you write about it on a daily basis. I think it's because you also write about your life, your human feelings and human flaws, as well. I admire your honesty. So, if I comment sometimes, it's not out of spite or hate (or, I don't mean it to be or come across that way).
Posted by: Garry at September 13, 2007 7:28 AM