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October 20, 2007
Fall, Orange Nails, Old Cats, Big Wins, and the Desire for Nancy's Organic Cottage Cheese
I am without deep thoughts today.
The weather is wonderful. Crisp, but not cold. Smell of fall in the air.
I am typing carefully b/c I just got my nails done a lovely fall shade of shiny orange. Will go with my Halloween jewelery... and socks... and decorations... etc.
I am exhausted b/c I stayed out late partying with nurses from Scranton. We had our Scranton victory party last night and it went great. I was thinking of going out tonight to a theatre performance that some friends of ours are putting on but I'm too tired. I just want to lie still and make dinner for my sweetie and chill.
On my walk home from the nail salon, I met a very old, very wise white cat. He lived with a very old woman, and meowed at me from his door. He had the freedom to leave... door was open... but he chose to stay inside. We meowed at each other for awhile then I walked on.
My special cottage cheese is at the store, awaiting my pick up tomorrow morning. I crave it as though it were an opiate. It is so good. And the live cultures make my stomach much happier than usual.
Oprah never called us back, so it seems we will not be doing the show at this point. A great deal of energy wasted, but they have their story and if we don't fit into it, that's understandable. They asked us to send some recent photos, so we snapped pics with our digital camera. If anybody wants to see a pic of me, send me your email and I'll mail it.
I had a long talk with Edward on the way home from Scranton about CR.
"I don't think you can do it," he said, meaning the job and hardcore CR.
Then I pointed out all the times I have done it.
And how the job doesn't FORCE me to eat: it's my own stress response that makes me eat excess calories.
And yes, it requires greater self-discipline from me than it would for someone who could completely regulate his food environment.
But I'm not okay with aging at a "normal" rate, and I'm willing to do the work to improve my chances of something better. Be it making it to actuarial escape velocity or just looking thirty at fifty.
The other day I was out with Lisa (24 year old organizer) and she went up to the bar to get our glasses of wine. The bartender asker her if her friend (me) had ID.
"My 'friend' is actually my boss, and she's 33," said Lisa.
"Well, tell her she looks great, and to keep doing whatever she's doing," said the bartender.
It's been a hard week. Death, tragedy, stress, but I finally got Edward to agree that yes: I can do extreme CR (have done before!) and still be a great organizer and it all comes down to self-discipline in the end. The same kind of self-discipline that can help you build the toughest union in Pennsylvania from scratch can help you extend your lifespan. [To clarify, Edward is the one who built the union. I showed up three years into the process. Edward is to union building as MR is to CR: there is no one better on earth. One downside to surrounding myself with these amazing men is that I often feel like I don't measure up. Good thing I'm the best RN organizer who ever lived. ;) And a pretty good kitty-mommy too!]
I have no better idea. I don't plan to give up or give in.
But I may take a short nap before making dinner!
[Just to clarifly... some eating disorder person wrote on another blog something about people having trouble holding down a job because it interferes with their dieting. This person a) obviously just appeared on the scene b) didn't read much. The difficulty here isn't that I can't hold down a job... I have a very demanding, high-powered job, and am extremely successful at it. As anyone who has read for like five days would know. The difficulty is that when I'm on the road, it's harder to stick to my CR and other health goals (like working out five days a week.) But that doesn't mean CR interferes with my job... quite the opposite really. It takes a lot of work to do CR when you are on the road, but it can be done, and these days I'm doing quite well.
And to all of you who have eating disorders: please do not project your own experience onto others. Most folks don't... at least not most real anorexics, who can recognize that CR is nothing at all like that. There seem to be a great number of people who have serious issues with food and their bodies, and they like to take these issues out thin women of any description. Even those of us who are thin because we eat extremely well, exercise, are in great health, and have the blood work to prove it. And successful jobs and happy relationships.]
Posted by april at October 20, 2007 4:33 PM
Comments
Hi April! Don't feel bad about Oprah; that creepy fat cow helped sell the Iraq fiasco to the American public via her show, so that's what you'd be dealing with. You know her time is past when they're calling that freaking self-absorbed bubble head Tyra Banks "The Next Oprah."
Good luck with the organizing and fighting the good fight!
Posted by: spincycle at October 20, 2007 3:54 PM
"If anybody wants to see a pic of me, send me your email and I'll mail it." - April ... Sure, send me a pic, or pics.
If you have any that show comparisons of "lax-CR to strict-cr that would probably be quite interesting.
I'm working on such a set now ... and I'm patiently waiting for my will power to get into a strict-cr mode (once again), so that I can have good compariison photos at the low-BMI end of the spectrum. :>)
Then I plan to animate the pics as an animated-.gif and as an .avi-movie file for a time-lapse movie effect... with a time-concurrent animated plot of cholesterol and BP on a chart on the side. Will be a cool cr documentation! Have to wear exact same minimal outfit (naked except for black speedos). Also need to have body-position(s), camera-settings and lighting exactly the same for each photo, so the animation will look good ... that part I am good at and can do easily and precisely. Just need to reactivate my cr mode once again!
Anyway, recent past months of "lax-cr" "(aka excess calorie consumption) has afforded me this great photo-op for creating an animated time-lapse movie of the effects of strict cr... that's how I look at it. :>)
Posted by: crwilliam at October 20, 2007 4:04 PM
So I am wondering April, what do you consider serious CR ?
I would think around 1300 is a quite major restriction for someone of your height but maybe that was just one day and not your average.
I am actually very interested in this as I was reading some of your older posts yesterday when you were having 800 calories a day.
I am often tempted to drop my calories low again but the combination of warnings not to go too low and my long term experience makes me very cautious at this stage.
It would be very interesting to hear more about your goals and long term plans for your CR journey.
Posted by: Mizpah at October 21, 2007 5:35 AM
1300 would be too low for me for an extended period of time, but I had been out twice in one weekend, so I was going low (which I thought I mentioned but am not sure) for a few days.
When I was eating 800 calories I was burning off a large tank of fat and being an idiot, which several people politely pointed out. then my scale pointed it out when I lost five pounds in one week. Oooops! At that point I straightened up and ate more.
It's hard to arrive at an ideal calorie level without doing the experiment perfectly... as long as one is eating out, one really doesn't know. I go up and down based on a) how much I go out b) how much weight I lose c) how much I'm exercising d) how I feel.
I've been getting some requests to start a data blog like Robin's and I may do that. But my fear is that people will just try to do what I do, which is not a good strategy as we're all different.
My calorie needs have gone up since I started exercising more seriously. But I've also gained a little fat, which I am burning off right now. So I may be able to go a little lower for awhile and then need to go up when the tank is gone. Only about five pounds, but that's a lot of calories.
More on this later... got to run to the grocery store!
a
Posted by: april at October 21, 2007 6:33 AM
"Spincycle" ... are you putting some revisionist spin on your Oprah commentary?
The following contradicts what you said about Oprah and the Iraq war ...
"Oprah was ONLY major media to question going to war" ... http://agonist.org/checkervest/20070721/oprah_was_only_major_media_to_question_going_to_war
Are pro-Iraq-war zealots in America vilifying Oprah with revengeful lies?
On a note more relevant to the CR aspects of this thread, I wonder if Oprah herself even was actively involved in the decision of whether to tape a CR segment for the show ... I imagine that much of such decision-making would be handled by the show's staff.
Tyra Banks ... now that's another story. lol
Posted by: crwilliam at October 21, 2007 7:37 AM
Hi April, yes, please send me a picture, and I'll send you one of me with my siblings. You'll immediately see how CR helped me escape the family tendency to overweight and obesity. Glad to hear you're not appearing on Oprah. You don't need that!!!
Cheers, Yvonne
Posted by: The Other Yvonne at October 21, 2007 4:36 PM
That makes sense. I tend to vary my calories too depending on what is going on in my life and how I am feeling. You are right that it really is so individual and it can take some time to find what works for us.
Posted by: Mizpah at October 23, 2007 5:25 AM