« Did It Make Sense Not To Live For Fun? | Main | I Can't Sleep, But I Can Cook »
October 15, 2007
Organizer Amnesia
"I want to have another," I said to Edward this morning. No, I wasn't talking about a glass of wine. I was talking about an organizing campaign.
"It's organizer amnesia," said Edward. And he's right. You forget the pain of running these campaigns shortly after they're over, then you want another. At least, that's what happens to real organizers.
"No, I remember the pain, I just want another," I told him. But he's right. I'm definitely in that phase where I want another no matter what. It's the adreneline junkie in me... which is 90% of me. The thrill of the absolute war that is organizing is something I have trouble living without.
I apologize to anyone to whom I've been absolutely crazy over the last few days... I was feeling rather unhinged by the latest series of tragedies. I think it's the last one that really sent me over the edge into "I want a new campaign" land. In the midst of all this death and destruction, one feels a need for some kind of expression of the life force. To me, that's either sex or organizing. And one can't have sex all the time, so one may as well run organizing campaigns.
We have a couple of things brewing (that I don't talk about on blog so as not to give the administrations a heads up that their nurses are organizing) but I've also had to put a ton of my energy into the contract campaigns on the Twins. I love contract campaigns in a lot of ways, but except at the very end they're nowhere near the thrill of the organizing. I could never be one of the people who only works with established unions. Boring... very important, but boring.
As Joni Mitchell says, "It seems like you've gotta give up such a piece of your soul when you give up the chase."
My CR and exercise are getting back on track... and I do feel better. We're finishing up Thanksgiving leftovers so I had a bunch of mashed cauliflower with my Nancy's organic cottage cheese for lunch. Dinner tonight will just be a salad with yogurt and flax oil while on a very short break from calling nurses. Every night, on the phone till 8:30 or 9 p. No wonder most people don't want to do this job. Sometimes I don't want to do this job.
But this Friday night we're having a victory party for the Scranton nurses, and it's going to be amazing. Big Irish bar, spouses welcome (or not, as people choose) and lots of fun all around. Some of my favorite nurses ever will be there, and they're still glowing from the big win.
If I can't take a weekend off, I may as well organize workers to take on the mean-spirited, profit driven capitalist health care system.
As Edward always says, "What else are ya gonna do?"
Meanwhile, here's from my horoscope for tomorrow. It's the perfect explanation for why I run and win campaigns that a lot of organizing directors would dump. I file light, I know when I can hold my cards, and I know how to pull it off in the end. Might as well jump!
Tuesday, 16th October 2007
LEO
(Jul 24 - Aug 23)
There are many reasons why we may want to avoid making a wholehearted commitment. Usually these all boil down to a fear of disappointment. We don't want to fail. We don't want to look foolish. We don't want to hurtle headlong into some pit of despair that we could have avoided had we only kept a few more psychological barriers intact. But, of course, if we don't put all we've got into whatever we are doing, we can't expect to get back all it might otherwise have to offer us. Take the risk.
Posted by april at October 15, 2007 7:41 PM
Comments
You want another one? Yikes! This reminds me SO much of young moms who have one kid still in diapers, who is not walking yet and is unable to communicate beyond "Mama" and "NO!" and they suddenly announce that they want another baby right away. Slow down there, girl! Let your "babies" at least start nursery school first, O.K.? MoMR :-)
Posted by: Judith at October 15, 2007 7:14 PM