April's CR Diary

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November 10, 2007

It's Easier to Be Broken, It's Easier to Hide

I have long said that Lifehouse's "First Time" is my theme song for the Scranton campaign. I am now thinking that it might be my theme for the entire year. That campaign was a great example of people who had been broken down by defeat after defeat, followed by cuts to their pay and benefits and staffing levels that were devastating to their families' security and to the care they give their patients. For the first months of the campaign, they were very wary of coming out and doing anything. It just seemed so futile... after pouring their hearts and souls into organizing twice before, only to be beaten by management consultants who taught their managers to lie in their faces, it was hard for them to decide to do it again.

But they did... and new people came out of nowhere to lead the charge. Still, they all looked to Anna. Her decision to go with our union was definitely a pivotal moment in the campaign. She had every reason to hide, and she was never as active in this campaign as she had been in previous ones. But she decided to do it, and her decision influenced at least 100 others. She was definitely holding her breath until that last vote was counted. One of the happiest moments of my year... of my entire twelve year career, actually... was when I called her from the Labor Board to tell her that we won. I got her friend on the phone at the PACU (that's nurse talk for Recovery Room) and told her. She passed the news along. I heard Anna screaming in the background, "We won! We won!" I started to cry. Andy, who had come up for the vote count, cracked some inappropriate jokes and we all went out to lunch. Helping working people build power... it's all real. It's so freakin hard, but it's real, and it is the most amazing feeling on earth.

When nurses first get involved with organizing, it seems impossible that it could ever win. Overcoming their co-workers' fear, trying to keep everyone focused while management is drilling lies into their heads 24 hours a day in mandatory meetings (and yes you can be fired for failure to attend) and then winning a contract... it seems like too big a mountain to climb. Our job as organizers is to grab on tight to their hands and lead them through the maze. They spend a lot of time metaphorically digging their fingernails into our arms. I am covered in scars, not literal ones but ones that another old organizer could definitely see and recognize. There's this weird recognition among old organizers, people who've poured their lives into changing the world. We can make fun of each other, but we get really annoyed if other people do. I remember when I first met The Great Rachel B, who was a legend in her own time in nursing home organizing, and we just couldn't stop talking. Her support was a major factor in getting me through the campaign at the older of the twins.

I've always said that organizing and CR have a lot in common. Both require an unusual amount of self-discipline. Both can make you seem really weird, but most of us came that way so we don't mind too much. Most important, both require a radically different view of the world from the one held by most people around us. To organize, you have to believe that you and your co-workers have the collective power to change things for the better. To do CR, you have to believe that you, through your own actions, have the power to dramatically improve your health and slow your biological aging process.

The evidence supports both ideas. Lots of people have organized, and have won tremendous victories that most Americans take for granted now. I love that bumper sticker that says, "The Labor Movement: The Folks Who Brought You The Weekend." Overtime after 40 hours, any kind of health and safety regulations, laws against child labor, etc. It cracks me up when people say, "Why do we need unions? There aren't any unfair labor acts anymore." These people are usually rich professionals who have no earthly idea what life is like for working people. Still, every day workers are winning improvements on the job because collectively they have the power to take on their employer in a meaningful way. It's a lot of fun.

Same with CR. We just spent the day hearing scientific presentations about how and why CR works. Tomorrow is the skeptic day: we always invite the anti-CR scientists to present too. One of them is really entertaining, a guy named Steven Austad who catches wild mice and does experiments with them. I don't understand all his scientific data, but I love the stories of his trips all over the world and how he catches mice. I am wondering: if he finds a mouse in his house, does he catch it? Does he keep a cat? Was he, in a previous life, a cat? Kieffer would be so jealous of someone who gets paid to catch mice. Kieffer has been hanging around the place where he found a mouse last year for at least several hours a day ever since.

I always find these conferences so inspiring. After three years of CR, it's good to be reminded that there's a reason why we're doing this. Being around real live examples of long term CR practitioners who look and feel fabulous makes me more determined than ever to pull off this most unusual lifestyle, even though it's difficult.

Three days later... I'm back at work, and today was Danny's first day. He seemed happy, ecstatic, overwhelmed. At the end of the day I asked what he thought, and he mentioned that Lisa had told him how many organizers had come and gone, and he wanted to be someone who committed for the long term. Does he just know what to say or what?

I feel very optimistic about the future. CR is hard... real CR, not just the obesity avoidance that many pass of as CR. Real CR, defying biological instinct, fighting the compulsion to eat while focusing on the things that actually matter more in life... like love, work, changing the world, petting cats. Organizing is hard too. I tried to warn him, but he just kept coming back. I guess a lot of people have tried to tell me that CR is too hard, that we should just give up, that we should float along with the tide of ever growing weights and the idea that we should just consume until we can consume no more. And every time I'd chose to do something different. Maybe I'm just a rebel at heart, can't be normal, can't just go with the flow. I'm sure I'm a terrible brat, but I don't plan to accept normal aging and death when there's a very well scientifically documented alternative.

We're both looking for something we've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken, it's easier to hide
Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life, I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance, letting you inside

But feeling alive all over again...

Posted by april at November 10, 2007 8:18 PM

Comments

Posted by: Judith at November 12, 2007 7:03 PM

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Posted by: katerina at November 14, 2007 7:05 AM

Posted by: Judith at November 14, 2007 7:29 PM

Posted by: Marianne at November 15, 2007 7:34 AM

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