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December 9, 2007
World Falling Up
Have you ever wondered if you can use your hair dryer while listening to your Ipod without getting electrocuted? My grasp of things electrical is clearly lacking. I was listening to "Restless Heart" from Peter Cetera's "World Falling Down" album and I didn't want to stop but I needed to dry my hair. While some other person would no doubt have known that this would be just fine, and some other person not knowing that this would be just fine would google it, or ask someone, before risking electrocution. I am usually an extremely cautious person. This is a good quality in a life-extensionist. Clearly I've lost my mind. Today I listened to my Ipod while drying my hair, and I got away with it. Emboldened by this small step, I will no doubt continue down a path that will lead to hitchhiking, motorcycle riding, and inevitable gruesome, tacky, inexcusable death.
For those of you who don't know, "World Falling Down" was written during the breakup of Cetera's marriage. Are the two events related? Your guess is as good as mine. Perhaps Peter will write in to let me know. Anyhow, this album includes two fantastic songs, "Restless Heart" and "Feels Like Heaven." You've got to give a guy credit for doing a duet with Chaka Khan. Perhaps a time of great transition and turmoil is to blame for this burst of adult contemporary creativity.
No, my marriage is not falling apart. Far from. Better than ever. Three years in and we learn and grow all the time. So you can stop those rumors right now.
Nor am I leaving my job. Happier than ever.
So why did I, after a glass of whiskey on the rocks, happen to mention the title of Peter Cetera's totally counterrevolutionary CD?
And why, in the name of the Goddess, was I drinking whiskey on the rocks?
[My father is thinking: you should have been drinking good Scotch straight. This, btw, the man who said he'd disown me if I ever got on a motorcycle. This fact, along with the fact that I'm sure MR would pack his bags and head to Canada, prevents me from getting on a motorcycle. That, and the fact that Danny's motorcycle is still broken.]
My world, as long as I refrain from riding a motorcycle, is not falling down. If anything, it is coming together. Quite nicely, thank you.
It's been together for a long time, actually. Most successful year ever at work, incredibly stable yet passionate relationship with the love of my life, home-freakin-ownership, no debt, even a regular workout schedule. Oh I am so good. Pet the good little girl on the head as she eats her cottage cheese. She happens to like cottage cheese, and she keeps her bad girl tendancies securely locked within the four walls of the home she owns with her partner of record, the man on her health insurance.
The other day I got called "the queen of CR" on that nasty woman's blog. Whatever, dude.
I never meant to become the international icon of girly CR practice. I feel like such a screw-up myself so much of the time that it's just irritating to read about how I must be such a rigid, wretched human being on these blogs and in media articles. Would that I were more rigid! Would that I were more disciplined! Why the hell was I drinking whiskey???
I am in big trouble with MR for coming home night after night with my hair smelling of tons of smoke. According to him, secondhand smoke, for the non-smoker, is just as dangerous as smoking. I am supposed to STOP IT! Tell Danny that he can't smoke when I'm around.
My CR has been off and on. MR calls it "Alternate Week CR." My calories have stayed consistently fairly low, but when I eat out too much we all know how it screws the nutrition. And before this morning, I hadn't darkened the door of my gym for ten whole days.
Part of me feels like this is all really bad. The other part of me feels like saying, "Whatever! At least I'm not riding a motorcycle!"
Always remember: it could be worse.
For the first time, I am starting to think that I have to make real sacrifices to do true CR. If I am a good life-extensionist, I will not be breathing in secondhand smoke. And that means not sitting at the bar for hours exchanging stories with Danny while he blows smoke in my face.
But yes, I want to live longer. Feel better. Age slower. I am on about the project. I am, after all, April CR. I never wanted to be an icon of CR but it's too late now isn't it? At 108 I know there is so much better I could do. 108 and probably 1700 a day average. So for all of you wonderful commenters (and thank you!) who are trying to eat 1200 or 1300, you're eating too little! Go up closer to 1600 and you'll be able to do it.
Will I get my calories lower? Will I swear off secondhand smoke breaks? Will I look cute at 99 pounds or just gross?
Hunger isn't all that scary. We make a huge deal out of it, but I've been there and it's not that hard at all. It's much easier, for example, than being in love with someone you can't touch. I remember what it was like before MR and I got together, when I wanted him so bad I could taste him, and I had no idea that it would ever work out. Let me assure you, hunger is better. You know that in a few hours you'll get a bit of cottage cheese.
My world is falling up. It's coming together. I have decided to stay and fight, and that means staying in this hard line of work, with these complicated relationships, and living as long as I can.
Today I ate: an eggwhite omlette with mushrooms, tomato, onions and green and red peppers, a ton of coffee, tea, red wine, and a California roll of sushi, which is avocado, cucumber and crab. I won't eat any more. Tomorrow I'll eat the normal stuff, normal calories, normal calcium. I'll be a bit low so I'll calcium bomb tomorrow. That's 200 percent of the RDA. As I love non-fat dairy, this is fun for me.
But I have a restless heart, and I find myself identifying with Peter Cetera, which is really much scarier than being hungry.
And I have to do CR. Cause the costs of doing otherwise are more than I'm willing to pay. And no one who hasn't been there can understand. The absolute freedom that comes with standing down hunger, aging, death, fear... try it and you may I say. Or not. I can only speak for myself.
Until you've felt the freedom, you have no clue what I'm talking about. I am the kind of person who always wants to take it to the wall. I've been near the wall once, but not in awhile. I'm ready to go back. I never do much of anything when my back isn't against the wall. I function on adreneline.
Here we go. Why not? What else are we going to do?
Posted by april at December 9, 2007 9:10 AM
Comments
"Whiskey on the rocks" .. you can, of course, drink whiskey any way you like it - one of my better friends likes 'Jack and Ginger'. However, if you ever get some good single malt Scotch whisky, the right thing to do is drink it diluted with water; in at least a ratio of 2/1 whisky to water. NOT with ice .. just in case you wanted to know ..
btw, for those who are trying to lose weight, there's a sensible article here .. http://www.mahalo.com/Lose_weight
artifex (who is Scots, and occasionally drinks single malt)
Posted by: artifex at December 10, 2007 3:26 PM
April! 1700 calories a day?? 108 pounds?? Are you kidding me? Do you exercise that much? I can't go a week on 1300 without gaining weight. Please tell me your secret. =)
Posted by: Nony Mouse at December 10, 2007 7:14 PM
I've avoided being closely exposed to people smoking for a few years now, even before CR I avoided it as much as I possibly could. Now I'm very happy that smoking has been 'banned' in public places in the whole of the UK.
MR is right, second hand smoke is something you really shouldn't be exposed to. As well as the commonly known effects of passive smoking, it also increases the risk for viral / bacterial sinus infections and ear infections.
Stay away! evil! :)
Posted by: matt - uk at December 10, 2007 9:37 PM
I was thinking of you last night because I don't think you have cable or the time to watch TV.
Anthony Bourdain - crank former chef, now very cranky food writer - did a holiday special for his No Reservations show on the Travel Channel. He's not real big on vegetables. So, he treated everyone to a rant/recipe on how restaurants make their veggies taste so good. Something along the lines of "Ever wonder how restaurants make the vegetables taste so good? *sneer* *Adds 2 c. of butter and 3 c. sugar to unsuspecting carrots* That's how." And he worked in some nice, starred restaurants, can't imagine what gets added at casual dining places. If you can find it on YouTube it's quite funny and and a great illustration of what you've been saying a while.
(http://travel.discovery.com/tv/bourdain/recipes/bourdain-holiday-recipes.html)
Posted by: Anne at December 11, 2007 9:32 AM
I took a look at the link Anne sent re: Anthony Bourdin. His carrot recipe sounds exactly like something my brother would serve. What madness! His recipe for gravy must make enough for an army. His travel & food show is usually quite good, though, for learning about the cuisines of other countries. BTW, he smokes like a chimney, even on his show! JD :-)
Posted by: Judith at December 11, 2007 6:38 PM