April's CR Diary: Feinman's First Law of Nutrition

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February 3, 2010

Feinman's First Law of Nutrition

[I wrote this last Sunday, but changed a few things in the draft. It will be rather important as background to the next entry so I re-post.]

Well, I've finally figured it out.

MR hid it carefully, cloaked in discussions of beliefs that we share that make marriage unlikely if not impossible. (We don't believe in marriage: we believe that it happens, but to other people. Like diabetes and plagues of locusts.) All this time I thought MR was genuinely ideologically opposed to marriage. We've saved our friends and family thousands of dollars by refusing to get married, and we've finally been together long enough that people stop asking when we're going to get the state's stamp on our relationship. He is on my health insurance. We have a joint credit card, we own a house together. We have no intention of ever breaking up. But we're not getting married. Ever. Not just because the thought of marriage makes me so physically ill that I can't even look at either red wine or Diet Coke.

Nope. Now I've figured out his real reason for not wanting to get married. It's a really sketchy attempt to get around Feinman's First Law Of Nutrition.

Thou shalt not interfere in thy spouse's diet.
- Richard David Feinman

You can see how this would be a very good law for maintaining domestic tranquility.

To be fair, MR has gotten very good about biting his tongue and letting me eat whatever I'm going to eat. He's survived many an episode of me going out with friends and overeating and overdrinking, and he long ago got over the notion that I would weigh and measure every single grape tomato. Most of the time he's just trying to be helpful. For instance, yesterday at lunch when he pointed out that since I frequently do not have dinner on Sunday nights (I eat breakfast only on Sundays, so I often don't have dinner. I'm a two meals a day person.) I should have flax oil with my salad at lunch instead of nuts.

To a normal person, this would be no big deal. But I over-react. I live with the world's icon of CR perfection, and it is at times a bit hard to not measure up. MR has been incredibly patient with me, especially considering that when we first got together I was both much better than I am now, and I also held myself out to be somewhat better than I am (who doesn't, in the early phases of seduction?) But my nerves are rubbed raw. So I overreact and turn into Ms. Mean Nasty B*t&h.

Having decided that we're already going there, I asked him what else he'd change about my diet, if he were given the opportunity to offer an opinion.

Silly me.

He'd have me quit or dramatically curtail meat consumption.

I'm really glad I ate those organic free range uncured turkey dogs before finding this out.

He has lots of good reasons: not methionine restriction, but methionine normalization. Epidemiological evidence that those who are either ovo-lacto vegetarians or eat meat less than once a week have lower risk of heart disease (for which I think my risk is approaching zero but anyway.) Environmental concerns.

So I figure I'll try it.

I created a template of foods to eat every day to make sure I get all my nutrition with minimal meat, moderate (rather than high) protein, and low carb. To this, I will add a) wine b) low carb veggies c) nuts, avocadoes, olives etc. d) little low fat cheeses, like Baby Bel and Laughing Cow Light (little processed cheeses are among my favorite things on earth) to get up to a target of 1400 calories/day.

2 cups nonfat plain organic yogurt
15 g pumpkin seeds
30 g almonds
150 g bok choi
150 g romaine
50 g radishes
300 g cauliflower
2 tsps flax oil
2 tbsps Lewis Labs brewers' yeast, which I will most likely put in organic veggie broth, no salt

Nutrition Summary for January 31, 2010
Report generated by CRON-o-Meter v0.9.7
===========================================

Lipids (42%)
===========================================
Saturated | 3.9 g 19%
Omega-3 | 5.1 g 321%
Omega-6 | 8.1 g 47%
Cholesterol | 5.4 mg 2%

Pretty good, eh? Plenty of room to grow in carbs from veggies before hitting 100, some room to grow in protein, but most of the nutritional bases covered.

Food is such a powerful issue in relationships. Back when I was a vegan, I dated a guy for two years who was really not good for me at all, but who was a vegan. We met at a political meeting to which I had brought vegan cookies. "Are these vegan?" he asked. "Yes, are you a vegan?" I asked. Sure enough, he was, and I decided at that moment to seduce him. We lived together for nearly two years of vegan cooking. He was an incredible tofu chef. I made lemon lentil soup that is to die for. He claimed that he was afraid of water, and therefore could not shower by himself. I was so enraptured that I actually bought this, and took a shower with him every other day. He didn't shower at all on the off days... he was a trust fund anarchist and had no job nor need of one... after leaving that relationship (for the guy who later, when I was 28, dumped me for a 22 year old Ruwandan refugee) I made a decision that from thenceforth, I would only date men who shower at least once a day. You know, some things should go without saying, but nothing ever does.

[Note, totally not CR related: I have observed that anytime I tell this story to a man, his reaction is something to the effect of, "Afraid of water? Why didn't I think of that???" So for all you gentlemen readers out there, try it on your wife or girlfriend today. If you are gay, I doubt your partner will fall for this trick, but feel free to try it anyhow. Afraid of water. Can't shower alone. Horrible panic attacks can be averted simply by having some company in the shower. If this works for you, it is evidence that either a) your girlfriend is really stupid b) she just wanted to take a shower with you anyway.]

The thrill of being with someone who shares your food beliefs, when you're one of us nutrition nutcases who thinks about this stuff all the time, is pretty amazing. I imagine it must be like when those people who play with model trains get together, or a Star Trek convention. Sharing a common passion is powerful and exciting, and it is certainly what drew me to MR in the first place. Our first few days in Calgary of CR-geeking out together were incredibly fun, and over the years we've had a lot of partner in crime moments as we weighed out our his and hers celery and played with DWIDP and later CRON-o-Meter. My creep off of CR and into mere healthy eating has been more frustrating for me than for him, but surely it has been frustrating and upsetting. Now that I'm back, things are better. He is so proud of me as I measure out my pumpkin seeds and read my scientific papers.

Still, I will never be quite like MR, and he accepts that. I will always go out, both for work and with friends. My idea of heaven is the Control Freak Salad at Marathon Grill, my favorite Philly salad place, and I don't know the exact calories on the salad I have there but I know it's low carb, high nutrition, and really really yummy. MR would never eat that because he only eats things that are weighed and measured, yet we've managed to make peace.

I doubt that, in spite of his very excellent best efforts, MR will ever be able to follow Feinman's First Law of Nutrition. He's too invested in my health and longevity to just leave well enough alone. So sometimes it's just easier for me to do what he wants rather than fight sad face. Argument from authority, no. Argument from the man you wake up next to.

And of course I want to live long and be healthy. I started to see signs of aging last week, though I think I was just tired, and I had that panic that drove me to hardcore CR in the first place. I need time. I hate the idea of aging, the idea that people who have finally learned how to behave like grown-ups don't stick around all that much longer. I want to look 50 when I'm 70. CR is the only intervention known to...

So very little meat, low carb, low protein, low sat fat, high MUFA and PUFA (awwww, the names of my eventual pet rats!) and I still get to drink wine. I can handle that. Hardcore we go again. 1400 with no going out, or at least very rare going out. At my activity level that will land me where I want to be in just the right amount of time.

The things I'm not eating are becoming a large list. Oh well. I've recently threatened to exist only on mashed cauliflower, flax oil and Laughing Cow Light. I don't need a lot of variety. Having found two things I really like, I don't really want much of anything else.

I've always felt sorry for the CR sisters who have partners who aren't supportive of their CR. I still do. It must be awful to be told you're too skinny (something that rarely happened to me even at 99) and have pressure to eat gak. I am grateful that I have a partner who is so supportive of my CR that sometimes he goes overboard. He forgives me for all the times I wasn't what I promised to be... I forgive him for the occasional micro-management.

Can I have an egg now?

Posted by april at February 3, 2010 4:44 AM

Comments

Aw, you guys are just so cute! I wish I had a potential CR boyfriend. The mutual acceptance from both of you makes me so happy! I won't even bother to tell my family about my CRON goals because I know they won't understand. And my mom probably won't let a kitchen scale in her house before she dies. That's just the kind of person she is.

I can see where you're coming from about the not getting married part. However, me being young, and really, I only started thinking about it months ago, I want to get married some day. Note the "some day." I can wait as long as I need to.

Also, I don't know if you remember me (you said I had an awesome name), but I've decided to make a blog for my healthy eating plan/goal/routine/lifestyle and eventually CR, pretty much all thanks to you. Feel proud! :)

Posted by: Rad-Tastic at February 1, 2010 7:19 AM

As part of a Can-Am couple myself, I'd wager that you and MR will end up married, despite your protestations to the contrary. No, not because you'll want to, but because circumstances will force you to. By that, I mean immigration issues. (Unless, one or both of you are already dual citizens of each others' countries, in which case I'm clearly wrong).

Related to that is the historical trend over the last many decades of immigration becoming more and more restrictive. He can live with you now, but when the Great Depression 2.0 comes (and it's coming, full steam ahead), will H1-B visas and the like still remain? Will immigration be curtailed to try and preserve jobs? In my opinion, probably. Times change.

I don't presume or pretend to know your circumstances, but having ourselves weighed the pros and cons, marrying, for us, was the best way to ensure that I could stay with my American half, forever :)

Posted by: Gregg M. at February 4, 2010 10:05 AM

Why must you weigh out very low-calorie foods like celery? Will you truly go over the day's calorie limit if you eat too much? As a fairly small woman, I find it pretty simple to eat well under 1200-1400 calories per day without weighing provided I eat exclusively whole foods.

Behaviors like needing to weigh every gram of food prompt even advocates of other "extreme" diets to ask whether CR prompts disordered eating behavior in some.

Posted by: mg at March 12, 2010 5:08 PM

April's CR Diary

February 3, 2010

Feinman's First Law of Nutrition

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